


The Veil of Sorcery

by Mystralist



Category: Merlin (TV), Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Aredian is a real danger, Arthur for once isn't a complete idiot, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Lancelot is a new trainee knight, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merlin and Morgana Friendship, Merlin puts himself on the line for his kin, Pining, Protective Arthur, Shapeshifting Merlin, Slow Burn, Touch starved Arthur, Witch and Wizard Burnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24407416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystralist/pseuds/Mystralist
Summary: What if Aredian was not a liar and a fraud, but someone who is actually competent and skilled in weeding out those with magic?And what if the only way Merlin and Morgana think to get rid of him was with a love potion, which of course goes terribly wrong?And what if Arthur's part in all this goes over everyones head, even Merlin's?
Relationships: Freya/Merlin (in memories), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 186





	1. Chapter 1

Her feet were crunching through the thick snow as she ran for her life. Hoping to throw her pursuers off, she kept changing directions. But the sounds from the distance never stopped. When a raven flew up right in front of her, she screamed. But instead of a scream, out came a growl.  
As she looked down at her feet, she realised she didn’t have any. Instead, there were paws. Pitch black like the night that surrounded her. Her breath came out in long white clouds.  
‘There!’ she heard someone call. Panicked, she ran on through the woods.  
A slight tickling could be heard and she knew a stream must be close. She turned in its direction. Her paws were drifting through the snow and she seemed to half fly over fallen tree trunks and big rocks. Her heart was hammering in her head when she finally saw the half frozen stream trickling along, glistening in the moonlight.  
Just when she had reached it, pain shot through her shoulder and she fell hard, head first into the icy water. ‘We got it!’ a voice called.  
She tried to see, but the world had started turning and all she could recognise was the smell of blood in her nose. Quickly she stumbled back on her feet and limped through the icy water, following its course.

Everything became blurry and time seemed to pass without her noticing. Her surroundings only came back into focus when she was standing in front of a sewer entrance. She hurried in, and the world became foggy once more.  
When she could see clearly again, her paws dragged her along the castle hallways. She felt small, like she was seeing everything from the point of view of a child. The castle seemed so much higher and bigger. She wanted nothing more than to find her chamber and rest in her bed. But her body did not carry her there. Instead, they directed her to the prince’s chambers. The door was unlocked and with her last strength she slid inside.

There, she collapsed on the floor next to a big bed. Everything was spinning. She felt her body shift and change. Forcing her eyes to stay open, she tried to focus her vision enough to find something, anything, that could help her. Her eyes fell on a big mirror standing tall at the opposite wall. She expected to see herself, but instead a skinny tall man was staring back at her. He was looking miserable, his black short hair sticking up in all directions.  
She could see now that an arrow had been shot through her (no, his?) shoulder. Blood was everywhere.  
‘Merlin!’ she heard a shocked voice and turned her head. Arthur was standing in the door, all colour leaving his face.  
Then, she could not force her eyes to stay open any longer. And she faded away.

‘Ah!’ Morgana exclaimed, sitting upright in her bed. As always with these kind of dreams, it took her several moments to realise that this had not actually just happened. Not yet.

-

The fire was cackling merrily by the time he had returned with the last of the fire wood. He tossed the logs in and sat next to it, holding up his hands to warm them at the flames. It was a young winter in Camelot and although snow had not fallen yet, the coldness promised it would soon. 

Merlin looked around for any signs of the guards or Morgana, but he was alone, embraced by trees. When his hands had warmed somewhat and he could feel his fingertips again, he got out a piece of dark brown cloth. He slowly turned it this way and that, looking at it as if it was a valuable treasure. And to him it was. It was the only thing that remained to him of Freya. A piece from her ripped clothing when she had transformed one last time. The images came flooding back to him, as they always did when he was looking at it. Freya’s beautiful dark eyes, full of tears and love and the assurance on her lips that he had saved her. When in truth he had failed to do so. She had died. And all he could do was give her a proper burial on a lake. A lake like the one she dreamed of living next to. Together with Merlin. But Arthur had extinguished this future when he had driven his sword through her.

A hole in his chest seemed to gape wide open and the young man found it suddenly hard to breathe. He quickly rummaged in his pocket again and got out a red cloth, looking just as ripped as the brown one; though its material was clearly of much better quality. Merlin let it run through his fingers, until he saw the blood stains on it. It was Merlin’s blood. When he had been injured in a fight, Arthur had ripped his tunic to bind up his arm and stop the bleeding.

Whenever his emotions about Freya seemed to overwhelm him, and anger at Arthur peeked up its ugly head, he looked at this cloth to remind him about the prince’s good heart underneath it all. About why he, Merlin, was here and doing what he was doing. And also to remind him what he had almost thrown away. Sometimes he thought that his reckless decision to run away with Freya had been what truly killed her. Because he had been prepared to turn his back on his destiny. Often he wondered if he should ask the dragon about this. But he never did out of fear what his answer would be.  
Merlin blinked his tears away, putting both cloths back in his pocket and staring at the fire. 

When Morgana asked him if he could accompany her to visit her father’s grave, he accepted gladly. He was happy for any excuse to get out of the castle these days. Away from Gaius’ sceptical eyebrow and Arthur’s taunts.  
He promised Morgana his best rabbit soup and had made the fire in preparation while Morgana was on the hill at her father’s grave, together with her guards. But the sun was slowly wandering west now and Merlin suspected they would be back soon; so he started preparing the rabbit the guards had caught earlier.

Merlin’s nose and cheeks were red from the icy air and his breath danced in front of his nose.  
His eyes wandered to he dancing flames and the smoke rising from them. Then he looked around carefully before rising his outstretched palm and whispering an incantation. The smoke swirled unnaturally before forming into a horse, galloping on the spot. Merlin smiled. Magic was the only thing making him feel alive lately. As quickly as the horse appeared, it disappeared again and rose as normal smoke into the air once more. Merlin started whistling, attending back to the rabbit, when a call made him whirl around.  
‘Did you see that? Did you see what was in the smoke?’  
‘W-What?’ Merlin stammered, his eyes falling on a farmer’s woman staggering through the bushes towards him.  
‘There! Didn’t you see?’ The woman pointed wildly at the smoke, her eyes wide with fear.  
‘No. I didn’t see anything.’  
‘It was a horse. A horse, I’m telling you! How could you not have seen it?’ she asked.  
‘I was just… skinning this rabbit. I didn’t look… I mean… are you sure, maybe the wind just played a trick on your eyes and -‘  
‘No.’ the woman cut him off, her face determined. ‘I know what I saw. I thought for a while that these woods were not save anymore. Weird folk about at night. Strange noises.’  
‘What is the matter here?’ Morgana asked, appearing next to the camp fire, her guards in tow.  
She looked pale and her voice was shaking.  
‘It was sorcery, I am sure of it. It was magic!’ the woman announced, pointing a finger at each of them.  
‘M-Magic?’ Merlin asked incredulously.  
‘Yes! The king must be told!’

—-

‘And you are sure of that?’  
‘Yes, sire. I am telling you, sorcery has returned. I am just waiting for my chickens to be sacrificed. Witchcraft symbols painted with their blood on the walls of us decent folk to attract wolves, evil spirits and gods know what else.’  
‘That’s a bit dramatic.’ Arthur murmured, but Uther held up his hand to quiet him.  
‘And you are certain there was no one else there?’ he requested.  
‘I am sure, my lord. As I said, just the lady Morgana and her guards,’ she gestured to her left where Morgana stood, ‘and this serving boy.’ she ended, now gesturing to Merlin standing on her right.  
‘What do you say to this woman’s claims, boy?’ Uther adressed Merlin now.  
Merlin’s eyes did not seem to want to look anywhere else but his boots. However, he forced himself to look the king in the eyes. ‘I have not seen the horse in the smoke, sire.’  
‘You did not?’ Uther asked, eyebrows rising.  
‘No.’  
Uther’s eyes were drilling holes through Merlin’s, clearly not satisfied by what he was hearing.  
Merlin cleared his throat. ‘I mean… I was sitting by the fire, preparing food for the lady Morgana and the guards when this woman came to the camp very distressed, telling me about what she saw. I… I then looked into the smoke but I only saw that. Smoke.’  
‘Did you look into the smoke while preparing the food?’ Uther asked.  
‘No.’ Merlin answered.  
‘So there is a chance you just missed it?’  
‘… it is possible, sire.’  
‘And you saw no one else there?’  
‘No.’  
‘And you are not protecting anyone?’  
‘No.’  
‘Are you telling the truth, boy?’ Uther almost shouted at the end.  
‘My king!’ Morgana interrupted. ‘Please. I can attest for everything Merlin said. I was just returning from the grave of my father when this allegedly happened. I had a good look at the camp fire and there was no one else there. Merlin was preparing food, just as he said. I saw the fire and the smoke, but no horse nor anything else that would suggest magic of any kind. Maybe this good woman was simply tricked by the smoke-‘  
‘With all due respect, my lady. I would not have come all this way to the king himself if I was not absolutely sure about what I saw.’ the woman said sternly.  
Uther rubbed his temples. ‘What am I to make of this?’  
‘Alright.’ Arthur inserted himself now, getting up from his royal seat and slowly walked down to the three people standing before the king. ‘Maybe this is all nothing more than some big misunderstanding. All three sources tell us there was nobody there. The guards had searched half the forest and reported to me that they couldn’t find a single living soul. So unless we suggest that Morgana,’ he gestured to Morgana, ‘or, even harder to believe, Merlin,’ he snorted and put his arm around his servants shoulders, pulling him close, ‘hexed the smoke, I think it is save to say we have nothing to worry about and this occurrence was nothing more than a trick of the eyes.’  
‘But, my lord -‘ the woman began.  
‘Of course, if you find such a situation happening again, we ask you to bring it forward to us and I will look into the matter personally right away.’ Arthur quickly followed up.  
The woman seemed satisfied with this. She nodded.  
‘What do you say, father?’ Arthur asked. His arm was still holding Merlin close.  
Uther was stroking his prominent chin. ‘I will have to think about this before I make a final decision. For now I thank you for taking the trouble of coming all this way to make me aware of this potential issue. I rely on good brave people like you to keep magic out of our kingdom.’  
‘Thank you, sire.’  
‘Give this woman a warm bed and food for the night. And reward her.’ Uther said towards his servants.  
‘You are too kind, sire.’ the woman said, bowing deeply before the king before following some servants out of the throne room.  
‘Right. That was that, then.’ Arthur said pleased, and gave Merlin a last clap on the shoulder before releasing him. ‘Oh, and Merlin. Since you were gone all day. I need you to scrub my boots, wash my clothes, clean my armour and tidy up my room.’  
‘What, now? It is already late. You said you would get another servant to do the chores for me today.’ Merlin interjected.  
Arthur shrugged his shoulders. ‘Yeah, I couldn’t find another one up for the job. And I have better things to do than run around all day trying to replace you.’  
‘Given how lousy of a servant you always make me out to be, you would think every street rat would be more up for the job.’  
‘I’m sorry, Merlin. Do I hear complaining?’  
‘No. Of course not.’ Merlin mocked.  
‘Good. Off you go, then.’ Arthur said, waving his hands.  
As he turned, Merlin could just see the hints of a grin on his lips and he found he carried one on his own.

-

Yawning loudly, Merlin fought to keep his eyes open as he scrubbed the last of Arthurs boots. He cursed the prince already for the hundredth time in his mind, wondering how that clot pole managed to get his boots so dirty in training when the ground had been frozen for days now. He wondered if Arthur did this on purpose, just to give Merlin a hard time.

‘Merlin.’ he heard and looked up. Morgana had entered the armoury, looking around nervously.  
‘Morgana. What are you doing here?’  
‘Are you alone?’  
‘Yes. No one is about at this ungodly hour anymore except Arthur’s favourite slave.’ Merlin joked. Morgana did not smile.  
‘I wanted to thank you. For today.’ she said awkwardly.  
‘What do you mean?’  
‘You know what I mean. The smoke. I know you saw it too.’  
‘I…’ Merlin began.  
‘It’s alright, Merlin. I saw the shocked look on your face. I’m only relieved you haven’t told anyone.’  
‘Of course not.’ Merlin said slowly, beginning to understand what Morgana was saying.  
‘I am so sorry about this. I want you to know I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t even know how I did it. All I know is I was having troubling thoughts, looking at the fire as I came closer and then… there it was. I wasn’t even thinking of a horse.’ Morgana’s lips were shaking as she sat down next to Merlin, burying her face in her hands.  
‘Morgana. No, you didn’t do anything wrong.’ Merlin said quickly. caressing her shoulder.  
‘I feel like I am loosing more and more control over myself. Where will this lead? What if I perform magic one day in front of Uther? He will have me beheaded where I stand.’  
Merlin could feel the sobs running through her body beneath his hand.  
Suddenly he found it impossible to swallow. ‘Maybe it wasn’t you doing this. Maybe it really was… someone else.’ he tried.  
‘This is very sweet of you. But we both know who did this.’ Morgana replied.  
Merlin hated himself in this moment.

-


	2. Chapter 2

‘Where in the name of the five kingdoms have you been?’ Gaius yelled as soon as Merlin set foot into his study.  
‘Scrubbing Arthur’s armour to perfection.’  
‘We need to talk.’ Gaius rounded on Merlin so that the latter only had enough time to close the door behind him before pressing his back against it to escape an accusing finger. ‘Have you been doing magic in that forest today?’ he asked sharply.  
Merlin looked away.  
‘How many times have I told you not to be so reckless? Using magic with Morgana and Camelot guards close, have you lost your mind?’  
‘Look, I know I messed up. I don’t know why I…. I guess I was just trying to cheer myself up.’  
‘I will have to start taking heart medications if you continue to put your head on the line so thoughtlessly. Have mercy with an old man.’  
‘I know… I’m sorry. I learned my lesson.’ Merlin reinsured. The rising eyebrow of Gaius seemed to think otherwise.  
‘And!’ Merlin added with a wide smile, ‘the matter is dealt with. Two against one, Morgana and me both said that we did not see a thing. I’m sure Uther will agree with Arthur’s conclusion that this was all just a misunderstanding. Nothing will come off it.’  
‘And this is where you are wrong.’ Gaius disagreed, turning and sitting down at his study table. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Suddenly the physician looked very tired.  
Merlin felt an unease spread in his stomach. ‘What is it? Gaius?’  
‘Uther was just here, ordering me to send word to one of the most infamous witch finders to ever exist. Uther wants him to investigate this situation.’  
Merlin frowned. ‘Witch finder? That’a a thing?’  
‘Yes Merlin, that is a thing.’ Gaius said, looking up at his protégé. ‘His name is Aredian. And I think there is no other man who brought so many sorcerers and witches to the torch than him. A good amount of people who died during the great purge did so through Aredians doing. He is a master in weeding out those with magic.’  
Slowly Merlin moved over to Gaius and let himself fall on the bench opposite him. ‘But… that won’t be a problem. I can do this, Gaius. I just play the game I always play. I’m Arthur’s idiotic manservant who is not really good at his job. No one has suspected me so far-‘ Gaius snorted at that silently. Merlin glanced at him reproachfully, continuing pointedly. ‘and no one will now.’  
‘I pray for your sake that that is true. We will face some difficult times now, of that I am certain.’ He pasued, then added: ‘Did Morgana really not see anything today?’  
Merlin’s expression grew dark. ‘She did see it. But not just that,. She thinks it was her doing it.’  
‘You mustn’t tell her that she didn’t do it.’  
‘I know. I won’t. But I will not let her take the blame and lose her life for it, Gaius.’  
Gaius nodded. ‘Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.’

-

The witch finder arrived within a week. His entrance made for a gloomy picture, like a grave digger had just entered town. Aredian looked grim and proud as he sat all in black on his wagon, pulled by a just as black horse. The cage behind him swayed a little this way and that, the chains inside rattling ominously with every bump in the road.  
When people saw him driving towards the castle, they quickly made way, many even went in their homes and closed the doors. The king had meant to keep Aredian’s coming a secret, but obviously word had gotten out and all of Camelot seemed to hold its breath with his arrival.

Merlin met him first when he was on the training grounds, getting the prince ready for a sparring session. Aredian approached them, looking oddly out of place, a tall black figure in a field of silver and red.  
‘Good Morning, prince Arthur! May I be granted permission to introduce myself?’ the witch finder asked, bowing deeply. Merlin frowned at Aredian’s eloquent way of speaking and his soothing velvet voice. He had envisioned a witch finder to be a dull minded hooligan with big muscles and an even bigger beer belly. Not a tall almost elegant man who knew his way around with royalty. For some reason that worried him. While fastening Arthur’s armour, Merlin slowly slipped behind the prince’s back, hoping to appear as invisible as possible.  
‘You may.’ Arthur nodded, smiling politely.  
‘My name is Aredian. Your father, the king, has sent for me to investigate a potentially dangerous matter.’  
‘Yes, I am aware. Welcome to Camelot, Aredian. It has been a while since you last set foot into the capital if I’m informed correctly. I hope you will find everything to your satisfaction during your stay. If there is anything you need, please don’t hesitate to let my father and me know.’  
‘You are too kind, my lord.’  
‘I must say, I expected you sooner in Camelot. Have you had troubles on the road?’  
‘Not at all, sire. I thought it best to first go to Aminar, where the incident took place, and talked to the farmer’s woman and have a personal look at the place and the forest. Just to get a personal first-hand impression.’  
This seemed to please Arthur. It did not please Merlin. At all. ‘You know how to approach your work, as I can see. Very well. I’m sure my father already told you to start your investigation here right away. If you are in need of any assistance or knights to -‘  
‘Thank you for your generosity. But I am and always have been working alone. I just find to be most efficient and discreet that way.’  
Aredian now caught Merlin’s glance, and his lips seemed to twitch slightly upward.  
‘Very well. I hope with your help we will be able to settle this matter quickly. If you will excuse me now, my knights are waiting.’ Arthur said.  
‘Of course, sire.’ Aredian bowed deeply once again. He gave Merlin one last fleeting look, and added: ‘See you soon, Merlin.’ before he walked away, his black cloak swirling behind him.  
Merlin watched him disappear in the distance.  
‘Merlin. Merlin.’ he heard Arthur call and blinked. He looked down at his still hands, holding the armour straps.  
‘Oh. Sorry.’ he stammered, and quickly got back to work. 

A few moments of silence passed, in which he worked his way to fastening Arthur’s wrist straps.  
’A bit of an overreaction, isn’t it.’ he eventually said, as casually as he could.  
‘What do you mean?’ Arthur asked, inspecting an axe he was holding in the other hand.  
‘The whole witch finder thing. Just because a farmer’s woman saw the wind play with smoke.’ Merlin explained, focused on his task.  
‘You know how my father is. He hears the word ‘magic’ and he cannot be reasoned with anymore. On top of what, we just had this cursed druid girl creating chaos in the city only a full moon ago. I think my father feels things are piling up and his control is slipping.’ Arthur explained.  
Merlin only nodded, feeling a lump forming in his throat.  
‘Here. Done.’ he managed to say, clapping on the prince’s armour.  
‘Alright. Let’s see what this lot can do with an axe.’ Arthur swung his axe, and entered the training field with a grin.

While he trained his knights, Merlin made sure the prince’s fighting arsenal was at the ready, should he wish to change the weapon. As always, Arthur was exceptional in his fighting, and so far he had managed to disarm every single one of his opponents. Merlin allowed himself a twitch of his lips as he watched the training unfold.  
After a while, Arthur returned, sweat glistening on his forehead. ‘It is as I had expected. Knights. Think they only need to be able to fight with a sword. As soon as you switch up the weapons, they are useless.’ he said panting, taking a big jar of water that Merlin had prepared and gulped it down eagerly. ‘When I am through with them, they will be able to defeat every enemy using only a broomstick if they must. They are knights of Camelot. They need to be ready.’  
‘And you are the one to get them ready?’ Merlin asked innocently.  
Arthur gloomed at his servant. ‘Of course. As you just witnessed, I’m the only one of this inexperienced lot who can fight with any weapon you lay in my hand. None of them stand the slightest chance against me.’  
‘Not sure that’s true.’ Merlin mumbled.  
‘What was that, Merlin?’ Arthur asked.  
‘Nothing.’  
‘No, no. You just doubted my abilities. Come on, enlighten me.’ the prince came so close to Merlin, their noses were almost touching.  
Merlin snorted vaguely, glancing over to Arthur’s knights, and to a newcomer who had just started his training. ‘Lancelot is not so bad. I wouldn’t underestimate him.’  
Arthur followed Merlin’s gaze. ‘The new boy? Are you serious?’ Arthur asked, outraged.  
‘It’s just, I saw him fight the griffin. He is really gifted with a sword.’  
‘Which drives home my point. A _sword_. Nothing else.’ Arthur enforced, holding the axe he was still carrying into Merlin’s face. When Merlin’s face still didn’t look convinced, the prince stepped back, nodding. ‘Fine. Let’s find out, shall we.’ Arthur said, gesturing dramatically before turning towards his waiting knights.  
‘You. New boy. In.’ the prince called, pointing at Lancelot, and the young man stepped forward, looking nervous.  
‘Light sparring is over. I want you coming at me full force. Just as I will. Fight as if you want to kill me. Like this is a real life or death situation. Understand? Let’s start.’  
‘Yes, sire.’ Lancelot called, getting into position.  
Merlin scratched his forehead so he could hide his smile. Maybe he shouldn’t rile Arthur up like this. But the proud fool was just so easy to provoke, Merlin couldn’t help but push his buttons a bit.  
He leaned back against a tree, crossing his arms in front of his chest and watched the match unfold. He wasn’t lying when he said Lancelot was a really good fighter and he was sure Arthur noticed by now that Merlin had a point. While the prince had gained control over the other knights rather quickly, it was much trickier to overpower Lancelot. His swings with the axe did make clear he had not much experience with swinging it, but he was quick and saw Arthur’s blows coming way before he could strike. Eventually however, Lancelot was forced back more and more and Arthur prepared for his final strike. Just as he took the swing however, Arthur’s axe head fell off. Everyone watched frozen as the sharp head whirled through the air before landing a few feet away in the grass.

‘MERLIN! Aren’t you supposed to make sure that my armoury is in immaculate condition, so that things like THIS don’t happen?’ Arthur called over, gesturing angrily at the fallen off axe head.  
‘I’m sorry, sire. I don’t know how this could have happened.’ the servant called back, scratching his head.  
‘Indeed.’ Arthur snorted, before he had to duck away just in time to evade an attack from Lancelot whose axe was still very much whole.  
‘Lancelot. I’m unarmed. Stop!’ the prince shouted.  
‘We fight full force as you said, my lord. As if this is a real life and death situation.’ Lancelot replied, charging again.  
’N-No. Not like this… MERLIN! Throw me another weapon! MERLIN!’ Arthur shouted over his shoulder while escaping various attacks from Lancelot.  
Merlin quickly darted over to fetch Arthur’s sword. It took a few moments to get it out of its hilt, but when he finally successfully retrieved it and ran towards the prince, it was already over. Arthur was lying on the ground, an axe at his throat.  
‘Do you yield, sire?’ Lancelot panted.  
Arthur nodded. 'I yield.' Lancelot smiled and held a hand out, pulling the prince back unto his feet. The latter rounded on Merlin, as soon as he arrived.  
‘I take it I came too late?’ Merlin grimaced.  
‘What makes you think that?’ Arthur asked, furious, snatching the sword out of Merlin’s hand.  
‘Sorry sire, the sword was stuck in its hilt.’ Merlin tried to explain.  
Arthur was shaking off gras and dirt from his clothes. ‘Stuck in its hilt? Why would you even bring me a sword when I made it perfectly clear that this training was about everything BUT swords? Is there no limit to your inability, Merlin? I think a few days with some additional work will do you good. Let’s start with fixing my axe, and going over the entire armoury so that something like _this_ doesn’t happen again. Dismissed.’ Arthur called over his shoulder to the knights and stomped away, fuming.  
Merlin exhaled deeply. Someone was not good at stomaching defeat. He was just about to go over to Lancelot to congratulate him when he saw that he was already talking to Guinevere, who had appeared at the side of the training ground.  
Merlin grinned knowingly as he watched the two smile at each other and turned around, looking for the axe head instead.

-

Merlin took the rest of the day going over the entire knight’s armoury.  
When he stumbled back into the castle in the evening with a big yawn, a tall figure with a stetson seemed to press the yawn right back down Merlin's throat and he quickly hid behind a pillar. His blue eyes followed the witch finder, as he looked sickeningly smug and content as he walked past, unaware that he was being watched. He didn't know why his heart was suddenly racing. He thought of the way those ice cold eyes were eying him today knowingly, as if he had already figured Merlin out completely. He shook his head decidedly. _Stop freaking out. This is ridiculous. This guy knows nothing. And you will make sure it stays that way._ Merlin thought to himself. When he gazed out again, the man was gone.  
Merlin breathed in deeply before continuing to Gaius study, trying to walk as naturally as possible.  
When he entered, Gaius looked up from a book he was reading. ‘Arthur again?’ he simply asked.  
‘Yeah.’ Merlin nodded. ‘His axe broke mid fight today. And guess who he made responsible.’ he added, pointing to himself.  
The physician’s stare became accusing, and he threw his hands on the table. ‘If you are telling me you were using magic again right after the last debacle-‘ he started.  
‘No! No, I didn’t do a thing. Sometimes things just go wrong… naturally. I promise I didn’t meddle.’  
‘Good. Here.’ Gaius nodded towards a folded paper on the table.  
Merlin snatched it and unfolded it. ‘What is it?’  
‘The date and time for your interrogation with Aredian. Tomorrow morning at first light.’ Gaius responded.  
Merlin threw the paper back on the table and nodded. ‘Alright, let’s get this over with. I handle this Gaius, don’t worry.’  
The physician only looked at Merlin, then he smiled apologetically. ‘I know you will. Forgive an old man for being so pessimistic. I am just really worried about you. If you or Morgana let shine anything through, I cannot even begin to think what Aredian will do.’  
Merlin kept looking at the piece of paper on the table, contemplating. He slowly nodded.  
‘How about dinner. You must be starving.’ Gaius suggested, getting up.  
‘Yes. I mean - wait. I first have to quickly take care of something.’  
‘Where are you going _now_?’ Gaius called after him.  
‘I’ll only be a minute.’ Merlin called back.

The servant walked quickly along the long corridors and up some stairs until he arrived at Morgana’s chambers. He looked around before knocking. Morgana opened immediately.  
‘Oh, thank god it’s you.’ she breathed and stepped back to make room for Merlin to enter.  
After closing the door behind them, Merlin said: ‘I just wanted to make sure you were okay. With that witch finder around and all.’  
The king’s ward nodded, but it was clear she was troubled. Her skin was even whiter than normal, her beautiful eyes were slightly reddened and the shadows underneath them suggested little sleep. ‘I am alright, Merlin. I received a note from Aredian that he wants to speak to me in the morning.’  
‘Yes. Me too.’  
‘It will be fine, I just… say what I said before.’  
‘Exactly. You did a really good job back with Uther. You can do the same again with this Aredian. It will all be fine, Morgana.’  
Morgana nodded again, her thick black curls bouncing softly. She looked at Merlin fearfully before asking: ‘Will… um… will you… still say you didn’t… didn’t see anything?’  
‘Of course! You… you don’t even know if it was you who did that.’ Merlin reinforced.  
‘It was me, Merlin. I know it was.’ she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

She looked so fragile and in need of help that Merlin reached gently for her arms and hugged her. While he caressed her back he tried to ignore the guilt that was spreading in his chest. ‘Shhh. It will all be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.’ he said, looking at the wall behind her.  
He felt her nodding through her sobs.  
‘Try to stay as calm as possible. Being upset will only rise the chance of your magic coming out again.’ he whispered. He felt her nod again. ‘I know.’ she said.

’MERLIN!’ Arthur’s voice cut through the moment like a knife. ‘MERLIN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?’  
Morgana pulled herself free, blinking and wiping away her tears. ‘Sounds like you are needed.’ she smiled.  
Merlin nodded, rolling his eyes. 'You would think at this hour he has no use for me anymore.'  
‘Thank you.’ Morgana said.  
‘For what?’  
‘For coming here. And for holding me. Royalty does not get this privilege very often.’

‘MERLIN!’ This time Arthur’s voice seemed much closer.  
‘I better go.’ Merlin said quickly and with one last reassuring nod, he was out of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

‘Where in Camelot’s name were you? If you tell me you had time to go to the tavern-‘ Arthur started as soon as he spotted him.  
‘No! I actually never go to the damned tavern.’ Merlin exclaimed, furious that this tavern business was still following him.  
‘I find that hard to believe.’  
‘How can I help, sire?’  
‘I feel a headache coming up, which resulted most likely from straining my shoulder in training today.’ Arthur said, stretching his neck this way and that.  
‘Should I ask Gaius to make you a remedy?’  
‘Too late. I did your job once again and already asked him, because you were nowhere to be found. He is putting together an ointment as we speak. Now your only job left will be the massage.’  
‘Massage?’  
‘Yes. The ointment needs to be massaged in to loosen up the tensions in my shoulder.’  
‘I have never given a massage.’ Merlin said almost scared.  
‘Don’t worry. My expectations of you are very low to begin with, it will be hard to underwhelm me.’  
Merlin glanced at the prince, but restrained himself from a snarky remark. ‘So should I do it now, or..?’  
‘Gaius said the ointment needs to sit overnight before it unfolds its healing qualities. Therefore, tomorrow morning.’ Arthur said.  
‘Tomorrow morning? Sire, I have an appointment in the morning with the witch finder and-‘  
‘Well, then you come to me before your appointment.’  
‘But it’s at first light.’ Merlin objected.  
‘Then you come to me _before_ first light. Not too complicated, is it, Merlin?’ Arthur asked, as if he was talking to a child.  
And with a clap on Merlin’s back, Arthur went to his chambers.

-

Camelot lay still in deep sleep when a candle was lit in one of the castle windows before the window itself was opened and a sleepy face with black messy hair appeared.  
Merlin blinked into the icy morning air, hoping this would wake his senses quicker. While the cold air hit his lungs, he noticed a fine layer of white covering the window sill and the roofs of the city. Little snowflakes were dancing down from a dark cloudy sky. Merlin looked up with a widening smile, watching the swirling snow for a while before pulling his head back in and getting ready.

He tiptoed passed a still snoring Gaius and looked through the endless shelves stacked with herbs, books and jars full of medicine and ingredients of all sorts. When his eyes fell on the marjoram ointment Gaius had brewed the night before, he snatched it and left the room silently.

Merlin fully expected Arthur to be deeply sleeping when he entered his chambers and found himself surprised when he saw a very much awake Arthur looking outside his window.  
‘Will you ever understand the concept of knocking, Merlin?’ he asked without turning around.  
‘I thought you would still be sleeping.’ Merlin explained, rubbing his still sleepy eyes.  
‘I am clearly not, as you can see.’  
‘Do you have to be up so early for a special reason? An early training session or a council meeting?’ Merlin asked.  
‘I am the prince of Camelot, Merlin. Sole heir to the throne. I know this is hard for your thick skull to fathom, but I have to be up at all kinds of ungodly hours if I wish to have enough time to meet all my responsibilities.’ Arthur said, finally turning around. He indeed did not look sleepy at all. Which baffled Merlin even more.  
‘I will quote you on that next time I have to drag you out of bed.’ he muttered.

That earned him a reproachful look from Arthur, who pulled off his tunic, stretching his neck again and kneading his shoulders with one hand. ‘So. Let’s have a fire and see how you do as a masseur.’  
Merlin nodded, the oil jar wandering from one hand to the other. He felt weirdly tense. He tried to shake it off by being busy and igniting the fireplace, tending to it until it was cackling merrily. Then he turned to see Arthur sitting on a chair next to it, his back turned so that the warmth would touch his back.

‘Alright. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’ Merlin said, coming closer and dipping his fingers into the ointment.  
The first thing that Arthur did after Merlin’s fingers touched him, he jumped. ‘For gods sake Merlin, your hands are ice cold.’  
‘Sorry. Maybe you noticed, it’s Winter. And not everyone has a big fancy fireplace to keep them warm.’ Merlin responded, half ready to duck a swing or a flying cup. But Arthur didn’t respond, just settled back into the chair.

Merlin took this as the cue to try again. This time Arthur didn’t flinch. Merlin’s tongue stuck out a little between his lips as he distributed the ointment all over Arthur’s shoulder’s and started to massage it in carefully. Gaius had showed him yesterday how to do it and Merlin tried to remember as he was working his way across Arthur’s upper back.  
It was rather difficult to really knead the muscles. Arthur felt incredibly tense.  
‘Am I hurting you?’ Merlin asked.  
‘No.’ Arthur only said.  
‘Loosen up a bit, it feels like I’m massaging stone.’  
‘It’s called muscles, Merlin.’  
‘No, it’s called being tense. What is it? Is it uncomfortable?’  
’N-No, it’s… rather nice, actually.’  
Merlin’s eyebrows flew up at this unexpected response and he smiled slightly. ‘Good.’ 

After a while, he could feel Arthur relax into his touch which made massaging much easier. Morgana’s words from the day before came back to him then: 

_‘And for holding me. Royalty doesn’t get this privilege very often.’_

Maybe Arthur was simply not used to being touched… that thought stirred something in him, and Merlin shook his head slightly to get rid of it.

The fire was burning bright and high by the time he was finishing up and dawn was upon them.  
‘Done. Did I get all the spots that hurt you?’ Merlin asked.  
‘As far as I can tell.' Arthur circled his shoulders this way and that, testing how they felt.  
Merlin was rubbing the remaining oil on his hands into his forearms to get rid of it and then closed the oil jar.  
When he felt a pair of eyes on him, he looked up to find Arthur staring at him. 'What is it?' he asked, dreading what kind of task Arthur was probably going to lay out for him now.  
But Arthur didn't respond right away. He looked uncomfortable.  
Merlin looked at the prince expectantly, tilting his head to signify he was waiting.  
'Uhm. Merlin. About your appointment with -' Arthur started. But a knock on the door interrupted him. ‘Come in.’ Arthur said.  
Merlin’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Aredian enter the room, bowing elegantly. ‘Your majesty. I was just looking for your servant, the boy Merlin. His questioning takes place now.’  
Arthur glanced at Merlin, nodding towards the witch finder. ‘Off you go, then. Don’t forget my breakfast when you are done.’  
‘Yes, sire.’ Merlin responded, following Aredian outside into the icy cold hallway.

-

‘So, you are Merlin. Arthur’s manservant.’  
‘Yes.’  
‘How long have you been in his service?’  
‘Two winters now.’  
‘Mh. And I heard the king himself appointed you this profession after you saved the prince’s life, is that correct?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘And you accompanied the lady Morgana a few days ago to visit her father’s grave when all this happened.’  
‘Correct.’  
‘Why?’ Aredian’s eye’s seemed even colder that morning when he looked at Merlin over the burning candle on the table. The clouds carried the snow further South and it promised to become a gorgeous cold sunny day. However, in Aredian's chambers it felt dank and the only window in the room allowed only little light to enter. Merlin was shivering.  
‘Lady Morgana asked Arthur to relieve me of my duties for the day so I could-‘  
‘Yes, yes. But why did she request that? You are not her servant after all. She has her own.’  
‘I think she felt maybe saver with a man accompanying her rather than her maid. For safety reasons.’  
‘But she was also accompanied by a handful of guards, I have been told. Enough to ensure her safety as it appears. And, forgive me for saying so, but you don’t strike me as a very… strong man. Physically. So in what way could you have kept her save?’  
‘I’m stronger than I look. Many are surprised.’ Merlin said, smiling weakly.  
Aredian did not smile back. His hands were shuffling papers with notes. Merlin didn’t dare to look long enough to try and read some of it.  
‘So. The day the horse appeared in the smoke. I already talked to the farmer’s woman. She said you were the only one present at the camp when this happened.’  
‘Yes.’  
‘What did you see?’  
‘Nothing.’  
‘Nothing?’  
‘No. I didn’t see the horse.’  
‘So you are saying the woman is lying?’  
‘No. I am saying I just didn’t see what she saw.’  
‘Now how is that possible?’ Aredian smiled now. This made him look even colder, if that was possible. He paused for a moment, before he threw a string of questions at Merlin.  
‘Have you lit the fire yourself?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘Have you put anything else into the fire except wood?’  
‘No.’  
‘Who collected the wood?’  
‘I did.’  
‘Did you leave the camp at any point after making the fire?’  
‘No.’  
‘Are you protecting anybody?’  
‘No.’  
‘Are you telling me the truth?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘What did you see in the smoke?’  
‘Nothing!’  
‘Who used magic?’  
‘I don’t know!’  
‘The truth, Merlin!’ Aredian shouted, banging a fist on the table.

Merlin closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. ‘It is not just me. The lady Morgana has not seen anything either.’  
‘Yes. Which makes this all the more curious.’ Aredian said. He stared at him for a long moment, as if he was contemplating which action to take next. Then, he reached down under the table and pulled something out of a bag that looked like a weird long root.

‘As I see it, Merlin, one of two situations happened.’ Aredian said casually, his eyes never leaving the boy. ‘Either the lady Morgana used magic and you are covering for her.’, the witch finder dangled the root over the table now, ‘or, you used magic and the lady Morgana is covering for you. Which one is it, I wonder?’ And with this question hanging in the air, Aredian pulled at the root. A heart wrenching scream suddenly filled Merlin’s head and it took all the strength he had not to scream too.  
Then, the scream stopped as abruptly as it had started when someone burst into the room. 

‘My lord, how can I help you?’ Aredian said, quickly letting the root disappear underneath the table again.  
‘By giving me back my servant. I have a council meeting to attend and have yet to receive my breakfast. Come on, Merlin, I cannot afford to be late.’ Arthur said in his best spoiled royal prat tone.  
Merlin couldn’t answer. His vision was blurry and he had trouble hearing anything above a tinnitus ringing in his ears.  
‘We are not quite finished here, my lord. If you would allow me to-‘ Aredian started, but Arthur shook his head.  
‘I’m sorry, Aredian, I’m afraid I must insist. I’m sure you had enough time to ask all the relevant questions. Now come on, Merlin, how much longer do you want to keep me waiting?’  
Merlin forced himself to let go of the armrest that he was clutching as if his life depended on it.  
He could feel Aredian’s glare burning through his back as he left the room, followed by an impatient Arthur.

It took Merlin several minutes to recover. As his vision came back into focus, he did not have to touch the wall for support anymore and the ringing in his ears slowly died down.  
Arthur seemed oblivious to Merlin’s behaviour as he walked in the front now, bantering on about the busy day ahead. Only when he glanced over his shoulder did his demeanour chance. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked.  
Merlin nodded quickly. ‘Yes. All fine, sire. I’m just a bit dizzy. I guess I just also need a good breakfast. Not good starting work with am empty belly.’ he smiled.  
‘You are bleeding.’ Arthur said slowly, pointing to his face.  
‘I am?’ Merlin checked his face, stopping at his mouth when he felt something warm and sticky. He looked at his red fingers. ‘I must have bit my lip.’  
‘Why would you do that?’ Arthur frowned at him.  
‘I… uhm… don’t know. I will fetch your breakfast now, Arthur. I will bring it to your room right away.’ Merlin then said, turning around and starting to run.  
‘Why are you running?’ Arthur called after him. ‘The kitchens are that way!’  
‘I will only be a minute, sire!’ Merlin called over his shoulder before rounding a corner and running along that hallway. He prayed he wasn’t too late.

When he arrived at Morgana’s chambers, he found them empty except for Gwen who was making Morgana’s bed. She looked up when she spotted a wildly panting Merlin leaning against the door frame.  
‘Merlin?’ she asked.  
‘Morgana?’ he only asked back.  
‘She just left for her appointment with that witch finder. Merlin, what- Merlin!’  
But Merlin was already running again. Around a corner, down some steps, around another corner, and - he almost bumped into Morgana.  
‘Merlin. What is it?’ she said, alarmed when she recognised him.

He came close to her ear so that only she could hear what he was saying: ‘Aredian will use a mandrake root on you. Whatever you do, don’t show him that it affects you.’  
‘What is a mandrake root?’ Morgana asked.  
‘A magical root which utters terrible screams. Only people with magic are able to hear it. You must not let him know that you can.’  
‘How do you know this?’ Morgana asked.

The clearing of a throat made them both turn. Aredian was standing there, grinning one sidedly. ‘Lady Morgana, if you would be so kind as to accompany me to my chambers.’  
‘Of course.’ Morgana agreed, and with a last fearful look at Merlin, she held her head high and walked past Aredian.  
‘I thought you had a breakfast to serve?’ the witch finder mentioned before following Morgana.


	4. Chapter 4

‘But how is it possible he knows about the mandrake root? Not even I would know about it, had I not come across it in the book you gave me.’ Merlin said, kneeling down and lifting a straw cover from the ground. The smooth snow surface broke and snow tumbled down to create little snow hills. Beneath the cover, a rich amount of herbs still grew.

‘I am sure Aredian came across the mandrake root the same way. He is a very literate man if I remember right.’ Gaius mused. He was inspecting a tree trunk closely before breaking of some of the bark.

‘But it is a magical root. That would mean he possess and reads books about magic.’ Merlin concluded.  
‘Well. If you want to catch the enemy, you have to know the enemy. I think they call it ‘beat your opponent with his own weapons.’ Gaius was putting his bark pieces into a big basket that was hanging from his forearm. He looked over at Merlin who had just picked some dark green herbs. ‘No, not those, my boy. We need Winter savoury. The one in the next row.’ Gaius pointed, and Merlin quickly picked the right herbs. ‘How much?’ he asked.  
‘A considerable amount, given the potion is for both, Morgana and you. And we don’t know for how long you will have to be taking it.’  
Merlin picked almost all the Winter savory Gaius had in his garden and put it carefully in the physician’s basket. Then he put the straw cover gently back over the herb garden.

A cold wind was blowing now and Merlin was shivering, putting up the collar of his dark brown winter jacket, which was still ridiculously thin. ‘Yes I get that,' he said, coming back to the topic, 'but being in possession of magical objects or education of any form is punishable by death. So even if he uses it to fight magic, he is taking a high risk. Uther does not differentiate.’ Merlin blew some hot air between his palms and rubbed them frantically together.  
‘He is taking a high risk indeed, if that is true. Maybe this could be useful. A weak point.’ Gaius looked at his protégé meaningfully.  
Merlin raised his eyebrows. ‘What, you mean if magical things were discovered in his chambers?’  
Gaius nodded slowly.  
‘Come on Gaius, Aredian is not that stupid. He may have some things back home, but he surely did not bring anything right under Uther’s nose into Camelot.’  
‘Only one way to find out.’  
Merlin crossed his arms now, looking amused at his father figure. ‘Are you encouraging me to break into his chambers?’  
Gaius looked affronted. ‘No, I simply stated that, if he brought anything along, this is where it would be.’  
Merlin frowned, the smile growing wider. ‘Sometimes I wonder who you were when you were younger.’  
‘Excuse me?’  
‘Because you can be quite the sly old dog. And then you are trying to make me feel bad for occasionally stretching the rules, when I believe you were not a single ounce better in your younger days-‘  
‘Merlin! That is a preposterous accusation and I don’t appreciate such allegations against my character.’ Gaius exclaimed. But Merlin could see that he had a very hard time keeping his thin lips straight. Before a smile would betray his facade, he quickly changed the topic: ‘Now, let us rather hurry back so I can start brewing this potion.’

They started walking towards a snowy castle. It looked oddly picturesque, the steep roofs covered in white which was shimmering in the sun and the red flags flowing elegantly in the strong wind.  
‘Do we have everything we need?’ Merlin asked.  
Gaius almost slipped on an iced puddle, and Merlin’s hand quickly shot out and kept Gaius from falling. The old man smiled gratefully and linked his arm with Merlins as they walked on.  
‘Yes. All the other ingredients I have in my study. By nightfall the potion should be ready.’

When they arrived at the study, they found the door wide open. Alarmed, they rushed inside, and were greeted with sheer chaos. Most shelves had been rummaged through and things were scattered all over the floor. Open books were lying everywhere.  
Gaius’ study table was a complete mess. His delicate devices to brew and mix potions were dismantled and partially broken. Whatever had been in them, was now spilled on the table and on the floor.

The two stood in the middle of this disaster, just taking it in, when someone was talking.  
‘Oh, there you are. I took the liberty to let myself in and have a look around.’  
Merlin’s eyes fixated on the little library Gaius kept at the top of the room right underneath the ceiling where he fell off of the very first day Merlin had walked into his study. Aredian was standing up there, flicking through a book.  
‘What are you doing here?’ Gaius asked calmly.

Aredian tossed the book carelessly over his shoulder. It fell over the banister and landed with a thump in front of Merlin’s and Gaius’ feet. ‘The king has authorised me to look through Merlin’s and the lady Morgana’s chambers, just to make sure everything is as it should be.’  
‘These are not my chambers.’ Merlin did not sound even slightly as calm as Gaius.  
‘No.’ Aredian agreed. ‘But since I had to walk through here anyways to get to them, I thought what harm could it do to inspect Gaius’ study, too. Good old Gaius was, after all, not a stranger to magic back in the day, isn’t that right Gaius. I just like my work to be thorough, and if you, young Merlin, do have indeed magic, I would find it very hard to believe your mentor wouldn’t know anything about it.’ He slowly came back down the narrow stairs, eyes skimming over every book he passed.  
‘And what came out of inspecting my quarters?’ Gaius asked.  
‘Nothing so far. I’m sure you are relieved to hear it. But.’ he arrived at the bottom, looking at Merlin. ‘I have not yet seen what I actually came for. Through this door, isn’t it, Merlin?’ he pointed at the old wooden door at the end of the study.  
Merlin nodded. Aredian smiled his foreboding smile and went through the door in swift strides.  
Gaius glanced at Merlin, who glanced briefly back before following the witch finder to the door frame.

Merlin’s chamber was messy, as always, and for the first time he was glad for it. It would take Aredian much longer to get an overview this way.  
‘Dear lord. I should really not call this ‘chambers’. A broom cupboard, more like.’ Aredian said sneering as he started to fling through Merlin’s belongings.  
Merlin watched him with narrowed eyes before glancing at the long loose wood slat which was just not sitting entirely right between the other wood slats underneath his bed.  
‘I am only a servant. If Gaius did not offer me this room, I would live in even humbler quarters.’ Merlin said conversationally.  
Aredian nodded while he gave up on searching through Merlin’s clothes and threw a bundle of them back to the floor. ‘I guess that is true. The question is, how well can you hide something in here?’ he seemed to be talking more to himself now and Merlin watched him knocking along the walls, pulling at chair legs and checking in his cupboard for a hidden shelf or double bottom. Merlin kept glancing underneath the bed. He could see the faintest glint of the blue sidhe ceptre through the tiny crack of the wood.

The witch finder now shifted his attention to Merlin’s bed, inspecting the straw mattress for anything Merlin might have slipped in between. The mattress was rather heavy and Aredian groaned while he flipped it over, turning his back to the servant. That was what Merlin had been waiting for. He stared at the loose wood and his eyes shone bright golden for a second. The slat moved magically, pressing itself down to match the the floor perfectly. Now nails appeared out of nowhere and drilled themselves into the wood to keep it in place. Merlin’s eyes turned blue again just in time before the witch finder turned to Merlin briefly. Merlin held his gaze, trying very hard to look innocent. Aredian looked away again, apparently giving up on the mattress and instead kneeled down to inspect the floor, ripping at random slats to see if anything would come loose. But everything was firm.  
Merlin closed his eyes for a second in relief.  
‘Well. It would seem my work is done for today.’ Aredian concluded after getting back up.  
‘I’m sorry you have wasted your time.’ Merlin said.  
Aredian stopped at the door, looking at Merlin closely. ‘Nothing of my investigations is a waste of time. Everything is a piece of the puzzle. And I have only very few pieces left to find.’

-

Merlin was busy the rest of the day in the staples with mucking out, grooming and feeding the horses. Never mind Arthur had a staple boy to do most of this, but for some reason Merlin had gotten this task now, as so many others. Arthur really had not been kidding when he had announced that more work would do Merlin good. He seemed determined to keep this up. Merlin swore silently to himself while currying the long mane of Arthur’s white stallion. Being the horse hairdresser had not been part of the job description, and he really had more important things to do. 

He still did not know how the interrogation of Morgana went in the morning. All day Merlin had tried to sneak away quickly to seek her out, but every time he just took one step towards her chambers, Arthur’s ear ringing ‘MERLIN’ echoed through the halls. It was slowly driving him mad. Especially now, when all Merlin wanted to do was keeping an eye on Aredian and what he was up to.  
Aredian had said that he only had a few pieces of the puzzle left, and Merlin wondered what that meant. He was either bluffing or he got information (or a reaction to the mandrake root) from Morgana. He prayed it wasn’t the latter.

By the time the mane’s and tails of each horse were soft and knot-free it had gotten dark outside. Soft snow was falling and the horses were contently munching their dinner. Merlin was clapping one of the animals amicably on the shoulder, when he heard nervous neighing. He glanced outside and saw Morgana’s grey mare in full riding gear, dancing nervously in one place in the middle of the courtyard before a slender figure swung themselves on top of the animal and gave it the heels. The horse snorted loudly and galloped off over the bridge into the night.  
‘Oh, no.’ Merlin breathed.  
He looked around panicky. By the time he got to his own horse it would be too late. The servants staples were all across the other side of the courtyard. Coming to a decision, he hurried to Arthur’s favourite stallion and stroked his long head. The horse looked at him disapprovingly with a moving jaw, unhappy to be interrupted during his meal.  
‘I know this is a bad time, but could you do me a favour and take me for a quick ride?’ Merlin asked. He could see his reflection in a large black eye and saw his eyes turn golden.  
The horse neighed friendly and gave him a gentle poke with his nose.  
‘Thanks. I owe you one.’ And with that he opened the staple door and the horse trotted willingly outside. Merlin closed the staple door again and swung himself swiftly unto the animal’s back and took off.

He could see some guards turning their heads in surprise, but no one tried to stop him. He was the prince’s servant after all, they would think whatever he was doing must be in compliance with Arthur. What Arthur would think about his manservant hijacking his horse was something Merlin would rather not think about right now.

The ice cold air whipped him in the face and snow flakes clung to his eye lashes. He held himself in place with his legs pressed into the horse’s belly, and tried to grab its mane not too tightly. He realised way too late he had never ridden a horse without gear and found it rather difficult to stay put up there. The strong spine was sitting uncomfortably sharp between his legs and he prayed the horse would not do any sudden jumps.

The hoof prints Morgana’s horse had left in the snow were distinct and Merlin could follow them easily. Once he was out of the city it was harder to trace them over land, but using his magic Merlin was able to locate her only a mile further North.  
He whispered something in the horse’s ear and it sped up even more, its long mane brushing Merlin’s face as he leaned forward to use the horse’s neck as a shield from the wind that had made his face numb.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally heard another rider in the distance and could make out a silhouette.  
‘MORGANA!’ he called out.  
He could hear a horse neighing and someone uttering calming noises to the animal.  
‘MORGANA, STOP! PLEASE!’  
And then he reached her, and told his horse through magic to slow down and stop.  
‘Merlin?’ he heard Morgana’s disbelieving voice. ‘What are you doing here?’  
‘I saw you ride off and followed you.’  
A short silence. ‘Is that Arthur’s horse?’  
‘I - er - yes.’  
‘He’s going to kill you.’  
‘I - um, I know. But that is not important right now. Where are you going?’  
Another silence. Merlin squinted his eyes, but he could not make out Morgana’s face in the blackness of the night. Only her silhouette, which was so wide Merlin knew she must be cloaked in a thick long winter cloak. He wished, shivering, he had one of those himself.  
‘I’m going to the druids.’ Morgana finally said, almost aggressively.  
‘They… they are all dead, Morgana.’ Merlin said, weakly.  
‘Not all of them. Some escaped. And besides, there is more than just one druid community out there. I will find them. Some. Somewhere. And ask them to take me in.’  
Merlin could feel the snowflakes falling on his face like hundreds of tiny ice bites. ‘What happened today?’  
Morgana didn’t answer.  
‘Did Aredian use the mandrake root on you?’ Merlin asked.  
‘Yes.’  
‘And did you…?’  
‘No. It almost tore me apart, but I could hold it in.’  
Merlin nodded encouragingly before he remembered that she could not see him either. ’But that’s good. You managed, you didn’t give anything away.’  
‘Yes, I did.’ Morgana’s voice was only a whisper now. ‘I did magic.’  
The snow bites seemed to seep through Merlin’s skin and kiss his blood.  
‘You… in front of Aredian?’ he asked.  
‘Yes.’  
‘What did you do?’  
‘I’m… not sure.’  
‘What did you do?’ he repeated, more pressingly.  
‘I was so distressed about this constant screaming in my head… I had no control anymore… blood was running out of my nose…’ she stammered, unable to form a proper sentence.  
‘Morgana. What did you do?’ Merlin asked once more, as calmly as he could. His horse sensed his distress and started tripping on the spot and pawing his front hoof impatiently.  
‘I don’t really know. Some jars fell over. A glass shattered I think.’  
‘And did Aredian attribute this to you? Did he see your eyes?’ Merlin asked on.  
‘Why would you need to know every detail, Merlin? What does it matter? I gave myself away. It’s over. There is no way several things just fall over or break all at once. Aredian must know now. I am surprised he did not arrest me then and there. And I will flee now before he gets the chance to.’  
‘If you go now, then that is admitting your guilt. That will open the hunt for you.’  
‘The hunt is already opened. I’m sure Uther knows by now.’  
‘Uther cares deeply about you. He will not just blindly believe Aredian’s claims. Aredian will need proof. And he has none. Just his word against yours.’  
‘All he has to do is pull at one of those god forsaken roots in front of Uther and I will loose control again.’  
‘I won’t let this happen to you, Morgana. We will figure this out. Gaius is brewing a potion that will help us-’  
‘No, Merlin. This is all my fault. I cannot risk you getting mixed up in this. I have magic by some sick humour of the gods and I have to pay for this crime.’  
‘Magic is no crime. The druids have shown you that.’  
‘What is it with you, Merlin? Why are you so determined to risk your neck for me? How would you know anything about magic?’  
‘I… I know more about it than you can imagine.’  
‘I’m sure.’ Morgana’s spat, becoming increasingly more angry. ‘Stop meddling in things you don’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like, keeping up this pretence day in day out, knowing that if you only take one wrong step, the only thing close to family that you have will have you burned alive.’  
Merlin closed his eyes. The world beneath his eye lids was just as dark. ‘If you ride now, Morgana, it will mean your death.’  
‘So be it. I’m done pretending. I’m done living in fear. Maybe it was meant to be this way. Maybe this is what I needed to finally break out of this cage. I will leave now. Thank you for trying to help me, Merlin. But this goes beyond your or anyone’s understanding in Camelot. I am done feeling so alone. I will look for my kind now.’  
Merlin heard her clicking her tongue and her horse started moving.

He had been in this moment before. And it had always felt wrong how he had chosen in the past. In front of his eyes he saw Kilgharrah’s yellow eyes looking at him warningly. He saw Gaius’ worried face, waiting with dinner at home for him, trusting that he would do the right thing.  
‘You have already found your kind.’ Merlin heard himself say. ‘You don’t have to ride away to look for them.’  
Morgana’s horse snorted disapprovingly and Merlin suspected she had pulled the reigns too harshly. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked sharply, patience gone.  
Merlin slowly rose one of his hands, palm opening up to the black sky.  
_‘Liaht.’_ he whispered into the silence. A bright light appeared in his palm, shining round and beautiful like a tiny sun. Merlin’s eyes hurt from the brightness.  
He gave the light ball a gentle push and it floated up until its light radiated from above all around and coated Morgana in its warmth. Merlin could finally see her.  
Her horse had shied away from the sudden light, but Morgana kept it from galloping off. Her eyes were fixed on the light above her before they slowly settled on Merlin. And Merlin stared back.  
‘It was me. I created the horse in the smoke.’ he said.

Morgana didn’t say anything. Merlin saw her wide, disbelieving eyes turn dark before they shone bright. And the last thing he knew was feeling an invisible force pushing him backwards and white pain shooting through his back. And then he felt no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure 'liaht' is the right spelling for the light incantation. I literally just took it as I understood it when Merlin says it in S4E1 'The darkest hour'. So if you know how to exactly spell it, please let me know!
> 
> Not much Merthur in this chapter, my apologies! I will make up for it in the chapters to come, I promise.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur stared blankly in the distance, as if there was a window at the end of his chambers that allowed him a look into a different world. One hand was resting on his cheek, two fingers drumming a continuous beat on his cheekbone.  
‘I am waiting.’ he said distantly after a while as if he had just returned from a journey very far away.

‘For what?’ Merlin asked the table. He didn’t dare look the prince in the eyes.

It seemed to take Arthur an incredible amount of self-control not to shout. ‘An explanation.’ he said through gritting teeth.

‘There is really not much to tell. I’m sure Morgana already told you the story.’

‘She did tell me that you followed her. On MY horse. My BEST horse. Which is gone now. By the way. Run off in a snow storm in the middle of the night. Because someone could not keep their skinny bottom in the saddle. Oh. No, hang on. There was no saddle, was there?’ 

Merlin glanced at Arthur’s hand resting on the table and thought it was slightly shaking with rage.  
Then his eyes got caught in a sudden movement as Arthur spread his arms, and pulling up his shoulders. ‘What am I to make of all this, Merlin? Hm?’  
Merlin closed his eyes for a moment. His worst fear had been that Morgana had told Arthur right away about his secret. But apparently not.  
His hands gripped the back of the chair harder as pain shot through his back. He felt so sore as if he had not fallen off a horse, but rather a flying dragon.   
‘Can you give me something to work with here?’ Arthur kept pressing.

Merlin nodded slowly, trying to shut out the pain and focus on the conversation. ‘I had followed Morgana because I was worried about her riding off into the night in this weather. I just wanted to make sure she was save. Then… I…. guess I am not very experienced in riding without gear and I fell off and lost my consciousness.’

‘And you had to do it with my horse?’

‘I… thought by the time I had reached and readied mine I would be too late to catch up to Morgana.’ 

‘You are aware that the lady Morgana is a very capable rider and can go on an early night ride whenever she pleases?’ Arthur asked.

Merlin only nodded again, finally daring to glance at Arthur directly. He was met with blue steel, and swallowed. Merlin couldn’t remember when last he had seen the prince this angry.

Arthur got up, pushing his chair back forcefully and started pacing the room.   
‘Do you have any idea how this looks like? Two main suspects of the royal court in a magic investigation riding off into the night?’

‘I guess the timing was a bit unfortunate.’ Merlin murmured, turning a little to be able to follow Arthur with his eyes. He kept one hand on the chair to steady himself.

Arthur snorted. ‘Unfortunate.’ he repeated. He kept pacing, his eyes never leaving Merlin, like a wolf encircling his prey. ‘You know, a part of me wishes Morgana would have just left you there lying in the snow. How she even managed to heave you on her horse to bring you back is beyond me.’

Merlin thought he might have an idea or two about that. He did not remember being brought back. When he regained consciousness, he could feel strong hands grabbing him and heaving him off a horse, guards talking and shouting. Then he thought he heard Arthur’s voice, and Morgana had said clear and load at his ear ‘Get him out of my sight’. The next thing he knew was he was sitting in one of Arthur’s chairs and Arthur shoved half a jug of wine down his throat to bring his spirits back.  
‘Arthur. I was just trying to protect Morgana.’ he said earnestly. That part was true, and the only thing he could convincingly sell at this moment. He was close to the big cackling fireplace, for which he was grateful. However, his wet clothes from the snow still clung to him and the icy cold was still sitting in every part of his body. ‘I meant no harm. And you know that.’ he added.

‘Yes, I know that. But that’s not good enough, Merlin. You cannot do things like this right now. Morgana should not have ridden out either, I grant you that. But at least she did not make herself look suspicious in getting some fresh air. You on the other hand riding after her with my horse and no gear...’

Merlin wanted to shout at this ignorant fool, wanted to tell him that if it wasn’t for him, Morgana would be gone now. Lost to them all. But it would do no good.   
He also thought he could see something else hovering behind Arthur’s anger. The way his eyebrows furrowed, the way he bit his lips to release tension. There was worry.

Arthur came closer now, looking at his servant intently. ‘You need to be more careful.’ he said, emphasising every word.

Merlin was searching in Arthur’s eyes what he was trying to tell him. He let go of the chair and took a step towards the prince. That was a mistake.  
He remembered too late that he couldn’t really feel his legs and staggered. Arthur caught him just in time before he fell forward. ‘You are ice cold, Merlin.’ Arthur said.  
He helped him to the bed and sat him down at its edge. ‘Take off your clothes. I will give you something from me.’ he said, going over to his closet.

Merlin looked up in confusion. ‘What? No. Arthur. Just call for Gaius, he will help me to my chambers and take care of me.’

Arthur looked over his shoulder. ‘Why do you think Gaius is not here yet, already? I called for him, but he is not in the castle. His study is locked. Have you all agreed to go out on some secret adventure in the snow tonight?’

Merlin frowned. He was sure it had to do with the potion the physician was brewing for Morgana and himself. It was not like the old man however to lock his study in his absence. But maybe with Aredian sneaking around he did not want to take any chances. ‘I think he wanted to brew a special potion tonight which required moonlight.’ Merlin made up.

‘Well, good luck finding any in this weather.’ Arthur remarked, gesturing at the snow storm that was still going on outside.

Merlin watched Arthur rummage through his closet.  
‘All the way on the right top.’ he said after a while.

Arthur followed the directions and pulled out some clothes. Then he glanced at Merlin. ‘I knew that.’

‘Of course you did.’

Arthur threw a warm tunic and some wooden breeches and socks on the bed next to his servant. ‘Put these on. They will keep you warm.’

‘Arthur-‘

‘Just. Once. Do as you’re told.’ 

Merlin exhaled and started to stiffly undress himself. He felt like he had to force himself to every movement, like his joints were frozen and he had to crack the ice sitting in them. He wondered if this was really all due to the exposure to the weather or if Morgana’s magic had played a part as well.

‘Oh, by all means, could you hurry up, Merlin? I thought you are only so slow when it came to doing chores for me.’ Arthur teased. He had gotten a jug of wine in the meantime and was drinking from it when he hit Merlin playfully on the shoulder, as he would often do.  
Just this time Merlin groaned in pain, his shoulders drawing up involuntarily. Arthur put his cup down, frowning. ‘Oh, come on. I know you can’t take much, but that was merely a slight push.’

‘Just pulling your leg.’ Merlin forced a smile, glancing up at Arthur.

But Arthur didn’t smile back. ‘Let me see.’ he gestured to Merlin’s back.

‘No, really, Arthur, it’s-‘

‘Shut up, Merlin. I’m not buying it. Come on.’

Merlin rolled his eyes, pulling off his scarf and thin blue tunic over his head, wincing all the while doing so.  
He heard Arthur draw in his breath as he inspected Merlin’s back.

‘That… does not look good.’ he finally managed to say.

‘Now that is just body shaming at this point. Just because I don’t have a bulky back like you.’

‘Would you stop joking now? Your back is all bruised.’

‘Yeah, I guessed as much. I landed on it when I fell off the horse.’ 

Arthur now sat down next to Merlin, gesturing to him to turn his back towards him. Merlin obliged.  
‘I fell off a horse many times and landed on my back, and it never looked like that.’ he concluded after a moment.

‘Yeah, well… it was a forceful fall.’ Merlin tried.

‘This will look and feel even worse tomorrow.’ Arthur concluded.

‘You really know how to lift someone’s spirits. Now can I put warm clothes on?’ Merlin asked over his shoulder. He wasn’t sure why he was being overly snarky.   
Being so vulnerable and naked (in every sense of the word) in front of Arthur for some reason deeply upset him. It was not supposed to be like that. It was Arthur who was normally in need of help, and Merlin the one who would help him (whether Arthur was aware of it or not). Merlin was sure he did not like the roles reversed.

Arthur went back to drinking his wine and watched Merlin put on the warm tunic.  
The servant then bent forward to untie his shoes. Half way down however, he winced as white pain clouded his eyes and he held his back. He tried to bent lower again, but found he could go no further.

‘Oh for the love of…’ Arthur exclaimed, putting his cup away. ‘I can’t watch this.’ He kneeled down in front of Merlin and held out his hands. ‘Come on.’ His fingers moved quickly up and down, gesturing to the other to give him his foot.  
But Merlin only raised his eyebrows at him. The prince clicked his tongue impatiently and then grabbed his servants feet, untying and pulling off first one shoe and socks, then the other. ‘If you mention this to anyone, you are toast.’ he murmured while he worked.

Merlin’s instinct was again to give a snarky remark, but bit it back and instead only watched this very unusual scenario.   
When it came to putting breeches on however, Merlin insisted on doing this himself and Arthur let him.

‘Thank you, Arthur. I really appreciate it.’ he said, feeling cozy in clothing that must be worth more than what he earned in a year.

‘Where are you going?’ Arthur asked.

Merlin had been heading towards the door.

‘Gaius is not there, his study is locked.’ the prince reminded him.

‘I just… sleep… uh… I could go to Gwen. I’m sure she will take me in for the night.’ Merlin smiled, opening the door. Arthur’s hand pressed the door shut again and he moved in between the door and Merlin, making his servant take a step back.  
‘You will not go out there stumbling about Camelot in the middle of the night in clothing that is clearly way too fine for you. If you stumble into anyone you are not supposed to, we will have some very uncomfortable questions.’

‘So…?’ Merlin frowned, not sure where this was going.

‘So, Merlin. You will not leave my chambers for the rest of the night. Get your icy self warmed up in the bed.’ Arthur responded, as if he was explaining the obvious.

Merlin was taken aback and swallowed hard. ’N-No. Arthur. That is… come on. I can’t just sleep in your bed. I’m only a servant. And…’

‘Look. My father knows nothing about your and Morgana's nightly endeavour. And if we are very lucky, Aredian has not noticed it either. I want this to stay that way. So we will do nothing that jeopardises this. Now stop arguing and go to sleep. That is an order.’

Merlin knew Arthur had a point. He also knew that he could just very easily unlock Gaius’ study with his magic and slip into his own, very small, very hard bed. In a room that had no fireplace, and a window that was far from airtight.  
Merlin nodded. ‘Alright.’

When he let himself fall into the royal bed it felt like falling into clouds and Merlin was sure, he could never get used to sleeping in any other bed ever again. He drew the covers all the way up to his ears and turned towards the fireplace.  
After a moment he felt the mattress shift and the covers moving.

‘See it as a reward.’ Arthur said next to him.

‘Reward?’ Merlin asked the fire.

‘Yes. You were always complaining that I was not appreciating your, and I quote, ‘tireless efforts’ as my manservant. So there you go.’

‘I would still rather prefer a day off.’

Arthur kicked him under the blankets.

‘Oi! I’m hurting enough!’ Merlin exclaimed, turning around.

‘Well then, don’t be annoying.’ Arthur remarked, glancing at him.

‘Well then, don’t give me reason to be.’ Merlin teased back and threw his head back into the fluffy pillow. His body was grateful for the warm comfortable wool on his body which for the first time did not itch or scratch his skin. And he was lying in the most comfortable bed he had ever been in. He could feel the warmth from the fireplace tickling his face and he closed his eyes in relaxation.  
‘Arthur?’ he said, drifting off to sleep.

‘Mh.’

‘Thank you. And I promise I will find your horse first thing tomorrow.’

‘Forget about the bloody horse. Just… get better. I hate feeling sorry for you.’

‘Hm?’ Merlin turned again. He saw that Arthur had turned his back to Merlin too. ‘What was that?’ Merlin asked.

‘Good night, Merlin.’ Arthur said pointedly.

‘You feel sorry for me?’

_‘Goodnight, Merlin.’_

This was not the first time that he had slept next to Arthur. In fact, the two had slept next to each other countless times before when they were out hunting or on a quest. But somehow sleeping together in an actual bed (Arthur’s actual bed) felt so much more intimate and forbidden that, was it not for Merlin’s exhaustion and weariness, he would have been way too tense to fall asleep. The last thing he wondered before falling into the timeless tides of unconsciousness was if he had made the right decision opening himself up to Morgana in such a dangerous way. When he had felt himself forced off the horse, he was sure he had made a mistake. Now, he held on to the fact that she had not told Arthur yet and that maybe, just maybe, his gut feeling would prove to be right after all.

During the night he opened his eyes once drowsily, awakening from dreams of drowning in ice cold ocean waves and shivering all over. They had done it countless times before out in the wild on hard forest floors, so Merlin moved backwards, his body instinctively searching for the warmth being emitted behind him. When his back connected, he closed his eyes again contently, feeling the warmth encircling him.

The next time he woke up, the room was flooded in daylight. Merlin had to blink several times against the brightness before he could see clearly. It took him several moments to piece together a) where he was and b) why he was where he was. His head turned to the other side of the bed. But there was no Arthur. Merlin sighed loudly and leaned his head against the back of the bed frame, a little glad that he was alone.

He had no idea how long he had slept, but seeing from where the sun shone through the windows, it was way too late. Merlin quickly got out of the bed (groaning with every movement. Arthur had been right, it _did_ feel even more sore now), gathered his still wet clothes and made for the doors. He glanced one last time at the bed, as if to say goodbye to it, before he opened the door.

Two ice blue eyes were looking at him expectantly.  
Merlin gasped in surprise and sprang back as if he had been stung.

‘Merlin, good morning.’ Aredian said, looking at him all over. ‘I must say I am surprised to see you here.’

-


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I took a bit longer this time. But I do come with two chapters at you now as a compensation :).   
> Thank you so much for so many kind comments and positive feedback. It makes me so happy to see that people are enjoying this little story so far.

Merlin’s heart rate had tripled within seconds as he stared into Aredian’s face, not knowing what to say.  
Aredian seemed to be amused that he had caused Merlin to be in distress. ‘I was looking for Arthur. We were scheduled to meet. Is he here?’ he tried to look past Merlin into the room.

‘Uh. No. He is… uhm…. out.’ Merlin said, quickly closing the door so only his head stuck out. He was very aware of his hair that stuck out in all directions and the bed behind him that was clearly not made yet.

‘Out?’ Aredian’s eyebrows rose. ‘Out where?’

‘Don’t know.’ Merlin pouted.

‘I… thought the prince’s personal manservant knows where his subject is at all times.’

‘Yeah, well, that’s not me. I’m a bit of an idiot. In fact, the king suspects I have a mental affliction.’ Merlin said meaningfully.

‘I… see.’ the witch finder said slowly.

‘Ah, Aredian. There you are.’ Arthur’s voice sounded suddenly as the prince appeared.

‘My lord. I am here for our appointment.’ Aredian bowed.

‘Of course.’ Arthur looked at Merlin now. ‘Well, let us in, Merlin.’

‘Uh… yes… I… actually… I am not done with my duties yet, sire. I am still in the process of making the bed.’ he stammered.

‘You are still not done? By the look of you, you have been in the tavern again half the night, haven’t you?’ Arthur snorted arrogantly, glancing at Aredian. ‘I am telling you, good servants are so difficult to come by these days.’

‘My apologies, sire. I will quickly finish up.’ Merlin said, looking down.

‘Not now. I have a confidential meeting with Aredian. Go make yourself useful elsewhere. Mucking out my stables in the fresh winter air should do your hangover good. Go on.’ he gestured for Merlin to hurry along and Merlin obliged. He felt Aredian’s look in his back all the way down the hallway.

‘So Aredian, what news do you bring me?’ Arthur’s voice rang, before he heard the door close and the voices got trapped within.

-

Merlin made his way to Gaius’ study as quickly as he could. He wondered what the news were that Aredian wanted to talk to Arthur about. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be anything good. For a split second Merlin wondered if Morgana had told Aredian about him. That the horse in the fire was Merlin’s doing. That would shift the focus off her completely. He needed to find and talk to her, immediately.

As he entered through the now open study door, he found he did not have to look for Morgana long. She was sitting there, holding what seemed to be a wet cloth to her cheek. A little glass jar with a deep purple liquid was standing in front of her on the table. She looked up when he entered, and her face fell.

‘Merlin!’ Gaius exclaimed, turning around and smiling. ‘There you are! When I found your bed empty this morning, I feared the worst! But Morgana assured me that she left you in good hands.’

Merlin only looked at Morgana, still as a salt pillar.

Gaius looked back and forth between them, clearing his throat. ‘Er… Morgana came by this morning to inquire about the potion I was finishing up last night. It was a bit trickier than I anticipated, but-‘ he poured another deep purple liquid in one of his little jars. ‘This potion will lower the effects of the mandrake root on those with magic. It will still be uncomfortable, but no more than a faint ringing in your ears, if my book is to be believed. I… ah… as I understand it, Merlin, I can give you this potion now too in Morgana’s presence…?’

‘Yes.’ Merlin only said, taking the jar from Gaius hand. ‘Thank you, Gaius.’

‘How long does the effect of the potion last?’ Morgana asked.

’24 hours, so you will have to take the same amount every day. But don’t worry, I brewed a considerable amount that should keep you save for a while. We don’t know if Aredian will plan another mandrake root attack on you, but if he does, you should be perfectly save.’ Gaius explained to the both of them.

‘How bad is the taste?’ Merlin enquired, remembering all the other times he had to swallow the physician’s brews. It seemed the more powerful the potions were, the more disgusting they were to the tongue.

‘I’m afraid you have to find out yourself. I have not tasted it.’

Merlin nodded, already making a face in anticipation. 

‘First Arthur’s horse, now his clothes. Did you steal those, too?’ Morgana asked. Merlin stopped midway putting the jar to his lips, and looked at Morgana again. ‘I wonder what other things Arthur doesn’t know.’ she added coldly.

Merlin’s jaw clenched.

‘I see that you two need to work some things out. Let me just….’ Gaius took the damp clothes from Merlin’s arm. ‘I’ll take care of them, my lad.’ he said and retreated to a far corner of the room, giving them some space.

‘You are angry with me.’ Merlin stated.

‘What gives you that idea?’ Morgana asked, faking innocence.

He slowly walked over to Morgana and sat down opposite her. He put his potion on the table next to hers. Morgana immediately leaned back, as if she wanted as much space between her and Merlin as possible.

‘I am sorry, Morgana. Truly. Very, very sorry.’ he said, looking at her intently.

Morgana rose her chin high, considering him with flared nostrils. It reminded him of Uther just before he was passing a sentence on a criminal.

‘I know I should have said something sooner.’ he continued.

‘When I came to you.’ she breathed, her voice shaking. ‘Drowning in fear of what I am. Of what wakes in me. I begged you for your help. For your acknowledgement. And you gave me nothing. Nothing.’

‘I know.’ Merlin nodded, looking down.

‘I thought you simply could not understand. But you could. And you still left me alone with it. And now, you left me alone again thinking I started an entire witch finder investigation-‘ she stopped herself as she was becoming louder. She shook her head, breathing in and out several times.

‘I tried to help you the only way I saw I could. I told you about the druids.’

‘I would not have needed the druids if I could have just talked to you. And they would still be alive today.’ she hissed.

Merlin grimaced as if someone had just punched him. ‘Yes.’ he said.

‘So much sorrow just to keep your secret save. So why tell me now?’

‘Because… I want to help you, Morgana. And be there for you. I always have wanted that. I just… thought I cannot risk revealing myself. Because, you know. I’m the manservant of king Uther’s son, the biggest magic opponent to ever exist. But, given the circumstances we are in now and where my actions have brought us… all that might have been a mistake. So I try to do it right now. For whatever it’s worth.’

There was a silence that stretched for several minutes in which Morgana seemed to consider all that she had heard.

‘When I left Arthur’s chambers…’ Merlin started again. ‘Aredian had just come to talk to him to give him some news. Do you have anything to do with that?’

Morgana looked at him as if he had just kicked her under the table. ‘Are you asking me if I told on you to Aredian?’

Merlin shrugged.

The king’s ward placed the wet cloth down and revealed a long cut that stretched across her cheek. ‘No, Merlin. I did not.’

Merlin exhaled relieved, looking up at Morgana with a little smile. Morgana’s lips twitched before she looked away.

‘What happened?’ Merlin pointed at her cheek.

‘Just a little accident from last night. Brushed past some nasty thorn bushes. Gaius bathed the cloth in some tincture that prevents an infection.’

‘May I?’ Merlin asked, showing her his palm.

She hesitated, before nodding. Merlin leaned forward and reached over the table, placing his palm gently on Morgana’s cheek. His eyes lit up bright as he whispered an incantation and felt warm energy emitting from his hand into Morgana’s skin.  
After he had retreated his hand again, Morgana touched her cheek slowly, finding it flawless again. ‘Thank you.’

‘I have to thank you. For coming back. And not leaving me out there.’

‘Believe me, I felt enticed.’ she said. Then, after a moment. ‘I am sorry for… you know. Knocking you off your horse. I didn’t mean to. I just got very upset and… things just got out of my control.’

‘I know. I had that problem once.’

A knock on the door made the two of them jump.

‘Yes?’ Gaius said.

Arthur was entering the study. ‘Gaius, I am looking for- there you are.’ he finished as his eyes fell on Morgana. His eyes wandered from her to Merlin, then to the potions on the table. ‘What is going on here?’

‘Oh, I just made them a preventive cold medicine, sire. So their excursion last night won’t leave them with any health consequences.’ the physician chimed in quickly. 

‘I see.’ Arthur nodded, the frown on his forehead not completely disappearing. 

‘Why were you looking for me, Arthur?’ Morgana asked, as brightly as she could.

‘Father sent me to tell you that we will hold a little feast in the throne room with Aredian tomorrow night. To thank him for his efforts and enquire his latest insights. He informed us today he might have some interesting ones.’

Merlin felt an uneasy pull in his stomach.

‘Good. I am hoping it will bring this tiresome matter to a close.’ Morgana managed to say, forcing a smile.

‘So do I.’ Arthur agreed. Then he cleared his throat and his voice took on another tone. ‘You heard it, Merlin. For tomorrow night I need my festive red gown freshly washed and ironed out, and my brown leather boots polished. Oh, and you will serve drinks at the feast.’

‘Yes, sire.’

‘And, also…’ Arthur threw something at Merlin, and he caught it just in time to prevent it from landing right in his face. He opened his hand to look at two worn out leather gloves.  
‘I got some holes into them in training the other day. Patch them up, will you.’ And without waiting for an answer, Arthur had vanished again, letting the door fall shut.

Merlin flattened the gloves on the table, trying to see where Arthur had managed, once again, to ruin his gloves. He had stitched up those damn things so many times, poking his own fingers more than he cared to remember in the process, it was time for Arthur to simply get new ones made. The leather was worn so thin, holes would appear by just looking at those darn gloves.

‘Why are you doing this?’ he heard Morgana ask and looked up. 

‘What?’ he asked.

‘This.’ Morgana nodded towards the gloves on the table. ’What is someone like you doing here in Camelot?’

‘It is my destiny to serve Arthur, and look out for him.’

‘If he or Uther ever found out…’

‘I hope that, one day, when Arthur is king, I can openly tell him who I am. When magic is no longer banished.’

Morgana crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking at Merlin like he had just made a very unfunny joke. ‘That will never happen, Merlin. Arthur will uphold his fathers ideals. More than anything he wants to please him and show him he is worthy. They are the same.’

Merlin shook his head vehemently. ‘No, I don’t believe so. Arthur is different. He is the one to unite the land of Albion and bring back magic to this land.’

Now Morgana laughed, holding one hand in front of her mouth. ‘You cannot truly believe that, Merlin.’

The more amused Morgana’s shoulders shook with laughter, the more Merlin’s face became stern. ‘I do. That is why I’m here.’

He saw her look over his shoulder and suspected Gaius was looking at her from afar with a similar serious expression.  
‘You are wasting your time.’ she finally said.

‘Time will tell.’ Merlin took his potion and raised it towards his friend. ‘Can I trust you keep my secret?’ 

Morgana took hers and their jars clinked. ‘I want you to now that I am still very angry with you. But yes. I promise.’

‘To magic in Camelot.’  
She smiled unconvinced, but echoed: ’To magic in Camelot.’

And they drank up.

-

When Gaius took care of Merlin’s back a little later, he confirmed that Merlin had suffered several contusions all across his back. He made him swallow bitter green medicine and sit on a chair with what looked and smelled like kelp rubbed all over his back for what Merlin thought must have been hours. The effect however couldn’t be denied and when Merlin went about his chores later he felt he could move with much less pain again.

He was glad that Gaius had the good sense not to comment his thoughts on Merlin’s decision to tell Morgana. At least not yet. All that he mentioned was: ‘You should go and tell the dragon what you did.’ And Merlin only nodded. He knew he had to. Eventually.

But for now he was busy helping to prepare the feast and check off all of Arthur’s endless chores. Which were still much higher in number than normal, in Merlin’s opinion. He had been hoping that he prince might go a bit easier again on him now after he had seen his injured back. But apparently not. Merlin did however think he noticed that Arthur was horse playing much less with him than usual and he saved his punches and claps for his knights.

Lancelot remarked on this the next day after another training session in the cold. Merlin looked up from polishing a gold emblem on a belt that Arthur wanted to wear at the feast that night.  
‘I think I won’t be able to lift my arm for the next day.’ the trainee knight said, circling the affected arm.

‘Arthur being hard in training?’ Merlin asked.

‘No, the training was fine. Just… the punches he lands when he is being. You know. Playful, or whatever you want to call it.’

‘Told you.’ Merlin chuckled.

‘Yes. I always thought you were exaggerating.’

‘Nope.’ Merlin grinned, pausing his circular movements on the emblem to glance at the big washing bowl next to him on the kitchen sink that was filled with soap water and some dark hills rising out of it. He poked at the hills, which sank in when he did.

‘Preparation for the feast tonight?’ Lancelot asked as he was taking his chain mail off.

‘Yep.’

‘Aren’t you a bit late with the clothes?’

‘I am hopelessly late.’

‘Then how will you get those clothes dry in time?’ he nodded towards the soapy bowl.

Merlin raised his eyebrows and pointed his lips, feigning cluelessness. 

‘Yeah, I thought so.’ Lancelot laughed. ‘Be careful, though. You shouldn’t go overboard with your little tricks right now. Blondy hunter is no joke.’ Lancelot went to the door, looking out left and right before closing it. ‘I’ve been meaning to tell you.’ he said, returning to Merlin. ‘That guy was sneaking around the other day in the armoury. Asked every knight who passed through questions about you.’

‘Yes, I expected he would do something like that.’ Merlin responded. ‘Did he talk to you, too?’

‘Yes. But don’t worry. Only had good, very ordinary things to say about you. So had the other knights. That you are Arthur’s loyal servant, never leaving his side and all that.’

‘Thank you, Lancelot.’ Merlin smiled weakly, continuing to polish; his movements a little too fast.

‘Are you worried about him? Does he have anything?’ Lancelot asked, his voice almost a whisper.

Merlin told him about the mandrake root and what is causes to those with magic. ‘But I have a potion that lessens the symptoms, so it should all be fine. Don’t worry.’

‘You say ‘don’t worry’, and I can see in your eyes how you yourself worry.’ Lancelot came closer and rested a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. He stopped polishing and looked at his friend’s kind face. ‘What is it, Merlin? Can I help you?’

Merlin smiled an almost sad smile. He wanted nothing more than to tell Lancelot how he worried about not only Aredian, but also Morgana. In several ways. He worried about her exposing herself to Aredian in her still inexperienced magical outbursts. He worried about her knowing about his magic. He knew that Morgana was still very upset with him, and that she did not trust him anymore. He couldn’t blame her for that. He hoped he could prove himself to her over time, if he got the chance.  
Still, the way she had iced up against him, how she had laughed at his purpose in Camelot, it sent daggers through Merlin’s heart. Morgana was his kin, and yet she did not understand. He had shared his secret with her, but it had been too late. Because he had not shared it before. That gave him a taste of how Arthur would take the news of his magic, should he ever find out.  
He would never understand, he would never look at him the same way again. And it wouldn’t matter when and how he decided to tell him, because the only thing that counted was that he did not tell him before. It was already too late and it always would be. Morgana might have knocked him off a horse, Arthur would knock him off a pedestal with a rope around his neck. She had said Arthur and his father were the same. And while Merlin knew in his heart that this wasn’t true, the seeds of doubt were always there. And they did not need a lot of water to grow.

‘You are a true friend, Lancelot. But I already burdened you enough with too much knowledge, and I cannot drag you any further into this.’ he chose to say.

The knight nodded thin lipped, as if he had already expected an answer like that. ‘I won’t press you, Merlin. Just know that, if you need me. I am here. I want to help you.’  
He pressed his shoulder gently before letting go and swinging his chainmail over his shoulder. ‘Alright, I’m ripe for a bath.’

‘Any special plans for tonight?’ Merlin asked meaningfully.

‘Whatever do you mean?’ Lancelot responded.

‘Oh, I don’t know. I was thinking a certain handmaiden might await you.’

‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’ Lancelot said, grinning from ear to ear.

Merlin mirrored his grin. He knew the thrills and excitement of new love. The world seemed open and the possibilities endless. He was happy for Lancelot and Gwen and he hoped, their love would meet a happier fate than his own. Another dagger in his heart that he didn’t care to feel right now.  
‘I am really happy for you, mate. Truly.’ he managed to say.

Lancelot rubbed his neck shyly. ‘Thank you, Merlin. I’m not sure if someone like me is good enough for her. A part of me thinks she deserves someone so much better than me.’

‘Well, that part of you is an idiot. Don’t listen to it. I couldn’t imagine someone better suited for Gwen than you. Finding love is so rare. Hold on to it. It can get lost so easily.’ Merlin said.

Lancelot narrowed his eyes. ‘You sound like you speak from experience.’

Merlin shrugged one shoulder. 

‘I wish you would tell me about it.’ the trainee knight went on.

‘One day. Maybe. When there is no reason for secrets anymore.’ Merlin said, annoyed at his voice sounding so unconvincing right now.

‘This day will come.’ Lancelot said. 

Merlin nodded, his smile just as unconvincing.

His friend came closer once more, placing his hands now on both of Merlin’s shoulders. ‘And when this day comes, Arthur will not let you down.’

At that, Merlin looked into Lancelot’s eyes, feeling caught. ‘How could he not. When I already let him down.’ he said.

‘I think you are the only person in this castle who has not let him down a single time, Merlin.’

‘I wish I could have your optimism.’

‘Well. Until you find it. I will have enough for both of us.’ he smiled kindly.

Merlin’s heart warmed at that.

-


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Chapter 7 is here. Things are speeding up now ;).  
> I hope you will enjoy it! As always, any feedback is highly appreciated!

When Merlin left the kitchens with Arthur’s miraculously dry clothes, his step was missing his swing a little bit. He hated how he felt pushed off balance by all the events that happened lately. Nothing felt quite right anymore. Things were not as they were supposed to be.  
And everything for the simple reason that he wanted to cheer himself up with a horse galloping through smoke.

When he reached the part where the corridor parted, he looked into the direction that would lead him to Morgana’s chambers. He had tried to talk to her earlier, to teach her some simple tricks that would help her keep her magic in check for the feast tonight. But she wouldn’t let him, shook him off with a lame excuse. Now Merlin could only pray that everything would run smoothly. 

He had not heard or seen the witch finder ever since he had woken up in Arthur’s bed the morning before and for some reason that made him even uneasier. It felt like an unnatural calm was hanging over the castle. The calm before a storm breaks. He couldn’t help but feeling that Aredian had something planned, and it made his stomach twist when he thought about what his dark mind could come up with.

Merlin took the corridor that would bring him to Gaius’ study instead to quickly change into other, slightly finer clothes for the feast before bringing Arthur his attire.

‘Ah, Merlin.’ Gaius smiled when his protege entered the study. ‘Did you prepare everything for the feast tonight?’

‘I think everything is checked off.’ Merlin answered, hanging Arhur’s clothes on the door so they wouldn’t catch wrinkles. ‘I just have to get changed and check in the kitchens that everything is on time. Not looking forward to get a cooking spoon swung at me again from Audrey, I can tell you that.’

Gaius watched him hurry around the study with an approving smile. ‘And have you taken your potion today?’

Merlin showed him an empty little jar.

‘Good lad. And Morgana?’

‘I hope so. I mean, I brought it to her when I offered her some help. She basically took it out of my hands and threw the door back in my face. So I’m guessing she did.’ Merlin said, looking around the room in search of something.

‘Give her time, Merlin. You already softened her toward you again. This is a lot to stomach.’

‘I guess it is.’ Merlin agreed, stretching his neck to see over a shelf.

‘What are you looking for? You are making me feel all giddy.’

‘My clothes that you hung over there to dry yesterday.’

‘I folded them and put them on your bed.’

‘Oh.’ Merlin grinned, hurrying into his room. ‘Thanks, Gaius!’

And as promised, they were waiting for him on the bed, just as Gaius promised. Merlin quickly changed in his finer clothes that he rarely wore, and then he pulled out the pants that Gaius had folded and checked the pockets. They were empty. Merlin frowned. He took his rust brown jacket and checked the pockets there. Empty again. Merlin’s heart started to beat faster.  
‘Gaius. Have you emptied the pockets of my clothes?’ he called.

The physician’s head appeared in the door. ‘No. Why would I do that?’

‘And nothing fell out of them at some point?’ 

‘Not that I noticed. What is missing, my boy?’ Gaius asked, concerned about the panicky look on Merlin’s face. 

Merlin didn’t answer but got up and shot out of the room, whirling around in the study, his eyes scanning the floors. But there was nothing.

‘Merlin, talk to me.’ Gaius said, mimicking Merlin’s search even though he had no idea what he was looking for.

Merlin’s head snapped back up. The last time he knew he had them was in the horse staples just before he was riding after Morgana. So either he lost them during the night in the snow or….  
‘I need to check in Arthur’s chambers.’ Merlin murmured to himself. He seemed to have forgotten that Gaius was there.  
He hurried out the door, taking Arthur’s clothes with him in the process.

Merlin!’ Gaius called.

‘All fine, Gaius. Sorry, see you later.’ Merlin called back and left a head shaking Gaius behind.

-

‘Ah, Merlin. There you are.’ Arthur said, standing in front of his mirror arranging his hair. The bath he had taken earlier was still standing there, cold by now. ‘Have you got my clothes?’

‘Yes.’ Merlin said, hanging them behind the room divider for Arthur to dress. Then, he walked casually around the room, his head head moving around like a curious bird.

Arthur watched his servant in the mirror and frowned. ‘Are you looking for something specific?’ 

‘Yes.’ Merlin responded, forcing himself to steady his eyes on Arthur. ‘The other day, when… uhm… you know, I spent the night here. And I changed into your clothes.’

‘Yes?’ Arthur encouraged. ‘Where are my clothes, by the way? I want them back, don’t you dare keeping them.’ he added.

‘I return them as soon as they are washed.’ Merlin said, secretly determined to keep them as long as possible. He had slept in them ever since he got them and he had never felt so warm and comfortable in his cold room. ‘Anyways, did anything fall out of my clothes pockets? Did you see anything by any chance?’

‘Yes.’ Arthur said, matter of factly.

‘Yes?’ Merlin repeated, surprised. ‘What? Where?’

‘I don’t know. Somewhere on the floor.’ Arthur gestured vaguely. ‘Some ripped cloth parts had fallen out of your jacket when I put them over the chair. I figured they are just garbage, so I do what I always do with garbage. I leave it on the floor for you to clean up. And since you failed to clean up my room in the last two days, they should still be laying around here somewhere.’

Merlin’s face fell and he started to obsessively look all over the floor, moving chairs and smaller furniture. Arthur watched him in disbelief.  
Finally, Merlin exclaimed victoriously as he was crouching under the table and holding the cloth parts in his hands. ‘Found them.’

He came back up, looking at his findings with relief. The big hole that had gaped wide open in his chest started to shrink again. They were his reminders and he needed them. He had found them, he had them back.

‘What is so special about two ripped- hang on. Isn’t that one from my tunic?’ Arthur asked, his head peeking curiously over Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin quickly shoved the pieces into his trouser pockets.

‘Er… yes.’ he stammered, turning towards Arthur.

‘Isn’t that the one that I used to bandage your arm?’ Arthur asked, pointing at Merlin’s pocket.

‘Yes.’ Merlin said, astounded. ‘You remember that?’

‘Of course I remember that.’ Arthur said. ‘You kept it.’ he added silently as if he was telling this to himself. A strange look appeared on the prince’s face then as his eyes found Merlin’s. They held this gaze for only a heartbeat.  
Then Arthur seemed to snap back into the moment, and he cleared his throat. ‘Which is good, because I expect you to stitch my tunic back up.’ he said, a bit too loudly and walked away.

‘Yes, sire. That is why I kept it, after all.’ Merlin responded quickly.

‘Of course, why else would you. Now, help me in these dreadful clothes, will you? We are going to be late.’

-

When Merlin entered the throne room, he immediately knew that something was not right. It was like he was entering a room full of high shrieking birds that flew up when he entered, before diving down and flying through his ears into his head. He stopped short, and Gwen bumped into him. ‘Merlin! Watch out.’ she whispered before hurrying past. Gwen was responsible for the courses to be brought out in time and was checking if all the dishes and cutlery was placed correctly.

The throne room was nicely decorated for the occasion. The big long table was laden with all kinds of delicacies a noble could hope for. Foreign fruits were offered in a big bowl, delicately baked sweets were stacked on a dessert stand that was standing high like a little tower.  
Merlin looked at all the particularities on and around the table, especially where Morgana would be sitting in a few moments; but he couldn’t find anything unusual. 

Some more servants were entering and exiting the room to make last arrangements and a little group of bards were tuning their instruments in a corner. Merlin walked around, trying out if the shrieks in his head would grow stronger or fainter with a different location, but it always stayed the same.  
He was checking behind the massive curtains along the window wall, but he couldn’t find anything there either. He could feel the faint cold emitting from the glass and looked out to find swirling snow gusting against the window. The clouds looked ominously thick and heavy and Merlin suspected another storm coming along.

When the doors of the dinner hall swung open by the guards and the king entered, Merlin quickly turned towards him and bowed, like everyone else in the room. The crown was shining proudly on Uther’s head, and a golden ornament held his scarlet cloak around his shoulders. It was swinging heavily around him as he walked to the head of the table, Morgana at his arm. She avoided Merlin’s eyes, and he wondered what she felt or heard when she entered the room.

Now Arthur entered, deep in conversation with Aredian. Merlin was surprised to see the witch finder wearing not only black for once. A poison green velvet jacket, ingrained with golden patterns and black fur around the neck line decorated his upper body and his black trousers were ending in shiny soft brown leather boots. He looked like nobility, his head risen almost as high and proud as Uther’s. At last some other higher court members entered who would also attend the dinner. 

Merlin quickly set to work as the guests started to seat themselves and took the long elegant wine jar to fill the royal’s glasses. Morgana put her hand over her glass to signal that she did not intend to drink and Merlin was glad of that. Uther, Arthur and Aredian however were glad for the red liquid and spoke a toast as soon as all guests had their glasses filled.

Merlin noticed how he had already gotten used to the ringing and shrieking in his head, and he seemed to be able to push it back enough to work normally. He kept glancing nervously at Morgana. She looked pale but beautiful in her dark violet dress and heavy silver jewellery, and although her mouth was tense and her eyes watchful, she seemed normal otherwise and Merlin prayed whatever effects she was experiencing, that she could handle them.

After toasting, Uther nodded towards Gwen and the first course of the evening was served. Uther seemed to be in an unusual good mood and chatted away with Aredian and other members of the court, while complimenting the cook for the excellent food. Morgana was mostly pushing her food around the plate and Arthur seemed to be in a drinking mood, toasting individually with the court guests and especially Aredian, who didn’t seem to mind. Merlin counted that he had filled Arthur’s glass back up already three times. Whenever he had a moment, he kept looking for signs of the mandrake root hanging somewhere, but without success.

Only when the second course was served, did a risky topic come up. ‘So, Arthur. I was in the stables today and saw that your stallion was missing. The staple boy informed me that he ran away?’ Uther said conversationally. 

Merlin glanced at Arthur. Arthur glanced at Merlin, chewing his food slowly. ‘Yes. Merlin, the idiot, let him escape when he took him out on the meadow to graze. Isn’t that right, Merlin?’ he finally answered.

‘Yes. I apologise deeply, sire.’ he said, sinking his head and looking down as a dutiful servant who felt sorry should.

‘Oh, that’s a shame. How did it happen?’ Uther asked Merlin, chewing on a seemingly thick piece of stringy meat.

‘You know how young stallions are. Full of temper and drive. He probably smelled a mare in heat and galloped off.’ Arthur quickly responded instead.

‘Is that why you are moving so stiffly, boy?’ Aredian asked now, his eyes locked on Merlin in curiosity. 

‘Yes. When the stallion ripped himself loose, I… uh… fell. On my back. A bit bruised, that’s all.’ he smiled, waving the matter away.

‘Strength is not exactly Merlin’s forte. A squirrel could have overpowered him just as easily.’ Arthur mocked, snorting. Uther chuckled. Aredian kept staring at Merlin. Morgana sat stiff as a plank.  
‘But don’t worry, we’ll get the stallion back eventually. I have people out looking for him.’ Arthur added, trying to close the matter.

‘Your servant seems to be lacking in many ways, my lord. I am surprised that you would put up with such incompetence.’ the witch finder remarked.

‘Yes, I must say I wondered this myself in the past.’ Uther said, taking a bunch of grapes from the cheese platter and dropped it unto his plate.

Arthur looked displeased. ‘Merlin might be lacking in carrying out some duties, but he also saved my life in the past and has shown great loyalty to the crown. It is not easy finding commitment like his these days.’ he said, emptying his wine glass.

‘The boy is loyal, that is true.’ Uther nodded, popping a grape into his mouth. 

Merlin made an annoyed face. They were talking about him as if he wasn’t there.

‘Sire. I was wondering. What is the punishment for sodomy in your kingdom?’ Aredian asked suddenly after a short pause. Merlin frowned, and he found Arthur choking on his wine.

‘Sodomy?’ Uther asked, confused about a question like that out of the blue.

‘Yes. I take it it is still forbidden?’ Aredian asked.

‘Yes. Of course it is. Punishable by exile, or even death.’ Uther snorted, as if any other idea would be ridiculous.

Aredian’s eyebrows rose and he nodded. ‘I thought as much.’

‘How is this important right now?’ Arthur asked sharply.

‘Oh, not at all, my lord. It was only a general wondering of mine.’ Aredian smiled his cold cruel smile.

Merlin saw Arthur’s jaw clench.

‘Morgana. You barely eat. Is everything alright?’ Uther then said, glancing at his ward in concern.

‘Nothing to concern yourself with, my lord. My stomach just doesn’t seem to agree with me today.’ she managed to smile. Merlin could see that more colour had started to leave her face. He quickly went over to her and leaned in. ‘If you would allow me, my lady, I will serve you a bitter liqueur to calm your stomach.’ he said. As he did so, he placed a hand on Morgana’s back, concentrating some of his energy to go over to her. He thought he could see the colour return to her face and she breathed in deep. ‘Yes… yes, that is a good idea.’ she smiled up at him. Merlin nodded and retreated again.

He fetched the bitters from the liquor stand and brought it over to her. When he placed the tiny glass on the table, he knocked down Morgana’s fork.  
‘My apologies, my lady.’ he said, and kneeled down to pick it back up. As his head dove underneath the long table cloth to see where the fork had gone, he drew in his breath. There they were. Hanging down from the middle of the table, the mandrake roots were swinging softly with every movement made from above the table from people eating.  
Merlin looked at all the legs that were placed underneath the table, sometimes moving and shovelling this way and that, but never coming towards the middle where the roots were dangling. He strained his neck and found that they were hanging from the head all the way down to the end of the table. That bastard. 

His first instinct was to rip them off and destroy them. But he couldn’t, if he was to play the innocent card. If Morgana and himself could manage to get through this dinner without showing any signs of discomfort, of being affected, then Aredian had no grounds against them. This had been his plan all along. Trapping Morgana and himself in a room full of mandrake roots for hours with both Uther and Arthur present, while he would just sit back and wait until one would break.  
‘Merlin?’ he heard Morgana next to him. He snapped back, picked up the fork and dove back up. ‘I will fetch you a new fork.’ he muttered.

The main topic of the night was not brought up until dessert was served. By then Morgana looked much better, and whenever Merlin had the feeling her energy was faltering once more, he would find an excuse to touch her and transmit some of his own to her. Whenever Aredian’s watchful eyes rested on him, he would smile even wider and move more vividly to show that the witch finder’s plan had failed. He also felt Arthur’s eyes on him a lot during the night. 

‘So, Aredian. Don’t let us push the matter off any further. You have been with us for several days now, talked to witnesses and investigated. What are your conclusions so far? What are your news?’ Uther asked, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands over his belly contently.

Aredian cleaned his mouth with a napkin and leaned back as well, playing with the wine glass in his hand. ‘Sire. I looked thoroughly into the matter of magic. Not only in the case of the horse in the smoke, but also in Camelot in general. When it comes to the incident in Aminar I must say, after talking to everyone involved, I have no proof that suggests that magic was involved.’ Aredian said.

Uther nodded, and Arthur said: ‘See? I told you, father.’

‘However. When it comes to magic in Camelot I have to say, my lord, that I have some dire news.’

Uther leaned forward again, his hands grasping the chair handles. ‘What is it?’

‘I fear that some magic has sneaked its way back into the kingdom. The other day at the markets I saw a child selling amulets for good fortune. A hooded woman was reading palms behind a spice stand. I found a group of amateur actors are presenting a play in which magic plays a positive role that saves the poor. They are amongst your citizens, sire. Conspiring and plotting in secret right under your nose.’ Aredian listed, nipping from his wine.

‘Selling amulets for luck and palm readings are nothing but superstitious behaviour. These things have always been around, and hold no actual magic.’ Arthur interjected.

‘It is known that sorcerers use amulets to trap magic in them. It is also known that seers try to make their living by foretelling the future of the people. The veil of superstition has always been used by sorcerers to live and work their illegal life’s unrecognised. It is a known technique I have seen practiced all over the country. Some might be harmless, yes. But many aren’t. And the longer you let this go on, my king, the bolder they will become over time. They will eventually end up in your very castle walls and you only know it when it is too late.’ the witch finder countered.

Uther had laid his index finger on his lips and nodded slowly as he considered Aredian’s words. ‘I think you are right. We need to do something against the fortune sellers. Of any kind. And I will look into that theatre play as well.’

‘Father.’ the prince leaned forward around Aredian to look directly at the king. ‘We cannot just arrest and punish people trying to make a living. It is the middle of winter, people need money to keep themselves warm and fed. They don’t do anything wrong with fortune sellings. How will we know if someone is truly selling magic?’

‘If I may.’ Aredian put out an appeasing hand. ‘Of course I am not suggesting to punish innocent people. Fortunately, I have developed a proven technique to rat out magical culprits of a city, so they show their true colours. We will know exactly who has magic and who hasn’t.’

The snow had started falling heavier outside again, and an icy wind was rattling at the windows.

‘What kind of technique is that?’ Arthur asked doubtfully. ‘Will it hurt people?’

‘Only those with magic.’ Aredian smiled a cold smile.

Uther liked what he was hearing. ‘Then it is done. I want you to get to work right away, Aredian. Weed out the city and bring me those who disobeyed the law.’

‘It will be my pleasure, sire.’ Aredian bowed his head, but Merlin didn’t miss the quick look he gave him. It made Merlin’s insides wring uncomfortably.

Arthur emptied his glass and held it out. Merlin hurried over to fill it up again. ‘Don’t you think you had enough by now?’ he whispered.

‘Not even close.’ Arthur whispered back.

‘Of course, my son will be pleased to assist you in every way you need to undergo this task.’ Uther added.

‘Pleasure. Absolute pleasure, yes.’ Arthur agreed, his words slurring a bit by now. 

They toasted to the agreement. 'To a magic free Camelot.' Uther said.  
'And to that no families will be destroyed by its evil forces ever again.' Aredian added.

Merlin came to stand behind Morgana once more. She glanced up at him, her eyes wide with fear. Merlin smiled back reassuringly.  
This were not the best developments, no. But at least Aredians plan to expose Morgana and him during the dinner had failed. Gaius’ potion had done its job wonderfully and the witch finder could do nothing but focus on other targets now instead. Merlin was sure he could do something to thwart Aredian’s plans again. Somehow.

Suddenly the doors of the hall were opened and a little girl entered. Merlin had seen her several times in the castle before and knew she was the daughter of some noble of the court. Her chestnut curls were bouncing as she walked in, dressed in a night gown. ‘Father- oh.’ she said in a high voice, and stopped short as her eyes widened.

‘Clarice. What are you doing here? Why are you not in bed with your mother?’ one of the noble men from the table got up and looked apologetically around before hurrying to his daughter.

‘I… sneaked off. I had a nightmare and wanted to ask if I can sleep in your cloak again.’ the girl said weakly. Then, she started holding her ears. ‘What is that, father?’

Her father kneeled next to her, stroking her hair. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked.

‘There is this loud noise in here. Is someone in pain?’ the girl responded, squinting her eyes now.

Merlin’s heart sank as he understood. He glanced at Aredian, who had just sat up straight in his chair and was looking at the girl like a hawk spotting a fat juicy mouse.

‘Make it stop, father. Please. It hurts.’ Clarice begged, crouching down.

There was no time. He had to do something. Without thinking twice, he looked at the nearest window and his eyes shone golden. The glass of the window shattered in a piercing clang. Everyone got up in shock as the cold winter storm found its way inside and was blowing fiercely through the dining hall. Food and dishes were blown over, the long table cloth was fluttering furiously up and down.

‘What in the… guards. GUARDS!’ Uther yelled, his red cloak flying. The guards entered only moments later and immediately started to try and barricade the broken window. There was chaos as people tried to protect themselves from the icy winds and leaving the room with bent heads and cloaks wrapped around them and others. The father had taken his daughter up in his arms and hurried outside. But Merlin didn’t see all this. His eyes were fixed on Arthur, still sitting motionlessly across the table, just staring at him.

-

‘Have you lost your damned mind?’ Arthur breathed a few moments later, letting go of Merlin’s collar after he had dragged him along behind him. Away from the chaos and all the people. Merlin found himself standing with his back against the wall of a broom cupboard. ‘What?’ he said, panting.

Arthur came very close and Merlin could smell the wine in his breath. ‘A toad could keep a secret better than you. Haven’t I told you, you need to be more careful?’

-


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin’s heart was beating all the way up his throat. His breath was flat and fast. ‘Arthur, what…’

‘I’m done playing this game, Merlin.’ Arthur said. Merlin kept searching the prince’s face for something. Anything. But all he saw was a wall drawn up as high as the castle walls themselves.  
‘I don’t know if you noticed, but I was trying to save your neck ever since that damned witch finder entered the castle. And as a thank you, you pull things like this.’ Arthur spat, pointing a finger away to, Merlin guessed, the dining hall.

‘I was trying to save the girl.’ Merlin heard himself say. 

‘What girl?’

‘The one who just entered before I…’ his voice broke off.

Arthur finally stepped back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was regarding Merlin with a frustrated face. ‘Well? What about her?’

The broom cupboard was small and the air was thick. Merlin felt he never got enough air, no matter how deep he breathed in.  
’S-She… she said she heard a loud noise. She has magic.’ Merlin had no idea what drove him to say this to the king’s son. But something in him told him that he had to now. He had to play with open cards. If Arthur really knew…

‘Clarice? That is ridiculous. She is Lord Lightstone’s daughter. The Lightstone’s are one of the oldest noble families of the court.’ Arthur said.

‘Magic doesn’t care about rank and blue blood.’ Merlin said impatiently. ‘Listen to me. If you go back to the dining hall, you will find that underneath the table everything hangs full of mandrake roots.’ He was stepping closer to Arthur, with a pleading expression.

‘Mandrake what?’ Arthur frowned. Merlin noticed his slurred speech again and thought that an intoxicated Arthur was really not the best Arthur to break these news to.

‘Mandrake roots. Harmless to common people, but to those with magic they utter almost unbearable screams. This is how Aredian planned to expose… me. But I… uh… found a way to lessen the symptoms. Clarice however was receptive to its effects. That means she holds magic, even though she might not know it. And Aredian knows it now, too.’

Arthur looked as if he had just tasted something sour while trying to wrap his head around all this new information. ‘Wait- hang on… so… why on earth did you break the window?’

‘To give the girl a way out. Now we can say she heard the storm breaking the glass… or something like that.’ Merlin tried.

Arthur didn’t look convinced. ‘She heard… the glass… break. Before it broke.’

‘Well, maybe she heard the storm howling, and heard the window slowly give in and - look, I know it’s not perfect, but it was the only thing I could think of. And at least it broke off the moment.’ Merlin said, gesturing with his hands.

Arhur considered Merlin for a moment, swaying slightly as he did so. ‘I’m too drunk for this.’ he finally murmured, rubbing his eyes. ‘Alright, let me go back and look for these man ache roots.’

‘Mandrake roots.’

‘Yeah. Those. And you, go back to your chamber, Merlin. Don’t talk to anyone.’ Arhur said, turning to leave the cupboard.

‘Arthur.’ Merlin said.

Arthur turned around.

Merlin didn’t say anything.

Arthur’s eyebrows rose as he waited.

Merlin still didn’t say anything.

Now Arthur seemed to understand. He came closer and dove his hands into Merlin’s hair. But it was not the quick playful ruffle he normally got. Arthur was slowly moving his fingers through Merlin’s hair on the back of his head, almost in a caressing way. He pulled him gently closer.  
‘You are my... servant. I won’t let an outsider just crash in here and decide your fate. That is for me. For me alone. Do you understand?’ There was anger in his voice. And hunger.  
His hand now wandered forward until it cupped Merlin’s cheek, his thumb moving over a sharp cheekbone.

Merlin wasn’t sure what was happening. All he could see in this dark tiny place were Arthur’s piercing blue eyes that couldn’t seem to decide if they wanted to focus on Merlin’s eyes or his lips. Merlin’s eyes seemed to have a similar problem.

Then, the moment broke and Arthur drew his walls back up. He gently pressed Merlin’s chin upwards. ‘Now chin up, will you.’ And with that his hand fell, and he turned and left.

-

Merlin slept awfully that night. He was constantly in this shadow world between sleep and wakefulness and the morning after he could not say what of the things he had had in his head that night were dreams or his thoughts.

As he surfaced in Gaius’ chambers, the physician was waiting for him with breakfast and his daily potion.  
‘Good Morning, Merlin. Well, you look like you had a rough night.’ the old man chuckled. ‘Did you sneak away too much wine for yourself at the feast?’

‘I definitely should have.’ Merlin muttered, rubbing his face.

As he sat down with Gaius to eat the little he could force down, he told him what had happened the night before all the way up to when he busted the window.  
‘And then Arthur dragged me out of there and into a broom cupboard and… and… Gaius, I think he knows.’ he finished lamely.

Gaius’ eyebrow was climbing again. ‘Knows…?’ he asked.

‘About my magic.’ Merlin said, pushing his food around on the plate.

Now Gaius’ eyebrow reached heights it had never dreamed of reaching. He leaned back and exhaled deeply. ‘My lad, I always knew that Arthur had to be told eventually. But don’t you think going around revealing your secret to your friends at a time like this is a bit dangerous?’

‘I didn’t tell him, Gaius. That’s the thing. I didn’t… he… he knew.’ Merlin had to swallow very hard to keep the little food he ate down.

‘Well. If that is true, Arthur is not so much of an idiot as you were always happy to describe him as.’ the physician said, almost smiling now.

Merlin snorted. ‘And I thought I was the one playing the idiot to him.’

‘Seems to me you both tried to keep up a pretence towards each other. And now this pretence fell.’

‘Maybe.’ Merlin said. ‘But it was not supposed to go this way. None of it. This is serious Gaius, what… what happens now?’ he asked, looking finally up at his mentor the way a child looks up to his father for help and guidance when the world was too much to bare alone.

Gaius reached over and put his hand on Merlin’s. ‘When Arthur really knew for some time now and you are still here, still serving him. Then, I think, you can trust that he will not let you down.’

He was now the second person telling him this. And again, Merlin had to shake his head at the optimism. The naivety. ‘I wish I could believe that.’

Merlin spent the rest of the morning in hiding outside. Gaius had sensed Merlin’s need to get some distance and ordered him to get some rare herbs from the market and the forest. Merlin left immediately, swinging his bag over his shoulder as the study door swung shut behind him. He used corridors he knew were barely used to avoid bumping into anyone he didn’t care to see right now. As he stepped out into the fresh air, he filled his lungs eagerly. The snow storm that had raged half the night had calmed down and only a few lonely flocks were dancing soundlessly in the air.

He glanced up to where the dining hall was. The window he had destroyed the day before was now nailed up from the inside with large wooden planks. They would not be able to repair this before spring arrived.  
Merlin as sure that Arthur must be awake by now. He wondered if he was waiting for him to come and serve breakfast. Or if he already talked to his father or even Aredian about his manservant who had turned out to be a sorcerer. Maybe, when he returned, a bunch of guards would wait to arrest him. He was probably a fool for just going about his day as if nothing happened. Other people would have packed their bags and left first thing in the morning.

Arthur’s words kept circling in his head as he was strolling through the market. His eyes were looking at some dried herbs hanging from a market stand, when he was actually not seeing them at all, but instead remembering Arthur’s face in front of him and feeling his fingers in his hair.

He had said that he wouldn’t let an outsider decide his, Merlin’s, fate. But Merlin wasn’t sure this was necessarily good news. Maybe it just meant Arthur himself wanted to pass the sentence, wanted to be the one to turn Merlin in. And in any case, the prince had been rather drunk, so none of his words from last night could be trusted too much. Maybe he had even forgotten it ever happened? Merlin knew it was too much to hope for.

‘Hello? Do you hear me?’ a voice snapped him back to reality. A young woman was looking at him with intelligent bright blue eyes. ‘I was asking what I can get you.’ she smiled kindly.

Merlin smiled back apologetically and cleared his throat, as his eyes for the first time took in the market stand. ‘You still have a lot of dried herbs for this time of year.’ he mentioned.

‘We always collect them fresh from the northern highlands in late summer and dry them immediately. This way they hold the longest. And…’ she gestured towards some white and red crystals hanging from the market stand ceiling, ‘those help, too.’

Merlin bit his lip. He recognised the clear quartz and bloodstone immediately ‘Are those healing crystals?’

‘Yes. They help to seal the healing qualities in the herbs longer. I guarantee you, you won’t regret buying your herbs here.’ the woman winked. Her wild long curly hair was dancing around her face as a cold breeze flew by. Merlin guessed she had seen about 25 winters.

Merlin nodded and told her which herbs he would like to purchase. A young teenage boy with a pimply face was packing up the herbs while Merlin was paying the woman. 

‘Here you go, Ser.’ the boy said as he gave Merlin the package.

‘I have never seen you here before.’ Merlin mentioned as he was packing his purchase into his bag.

‘We are only passing through. My family and me are wandering merchants, we visit many markets in the kingdoms.’ the woman answered, putting an arm around the boy and pulling him close.

‘Be careful with this one.’ Merlin said, nodding towards the hanging crystals. ‘I am sure you know that magic is outlawed here. We even have a witch finder around right now. And those could get you into trouble.’

The woman smiled coldly. ‘I know the kinds of people running this kingdom. And we are not afraid of them.’

Merlin wished he could say the same. Yet fear is all he could seem to feel on this day. He nodded towards the two, bid them goodbye and walked away.

In the end he had to go to the close woods only to collect some rare tree barks and Winter Savoury (Gaius had exhausted all his own resources for the mandrake root potion) that still grew underneath the snow in the forest meadow. It was well into the late afternoon by the time he returned to the castle. The cold had made his body feel numb and his hair was full of little snowflakes. 

As he walked stiffly into the castle, he noticed that no guards were waiting for him. Weirdly, he didn’t feel relieved.  
He chose the barely used corridors again to reach Gaius’ study. When he entered, he hung his bag on the door and looked around. 

‘Gaius?’ he asked into the room. No answer. Merlin quickly changed into different clothes and put on a thicker scarf and fingerless gloves in an attempt to shake off the cold quicker. Then he positioned himself in front of the physicians fireplace and enjoyed its warmth running over him, slowly seeping through.

The door opened. ‘Ah, Merlin. You are back.’ Gaius said as he entered. ‘Could you find some of the herbs?’

‘All of them. They are in my bag.’ Merlin responded, pointing to the said bag.

‘All of them? Good lad.’ the physician nodded as he inspected Merlin’s purchases.

’Where have you been?’ Merlin asked.

‘I have been seeing to Clarice. I casually talked to her parents about last night.’

Merlin whirled around on his chair, looking at Gaius expectantly. ‘And?’

‘It seems they think now that what their daughter had heard was the winter storm outside which was rattling on the windows. It also helped that I told them that children have a much more sensitive hearing and that noises which seem not peculiar to adults can really bother children.’ Gaius explained as he was sorting the new herbs and started hanging them to the others on the wall.

‘And does Clarice think this, too?’ Merlin asked.

‘Yes. I think that, when asked, this is what she will say.’

Merlin turned towards the fire again and watched the flames dance. ‘Do you think her parents or Clarice know? About what she has?’

‘No. They seem completely clueless.’

‘We need to give her our potion, Gaius. She is not save now.’

Gaius nodded. ‘I will see to it.’

The old man walked over, studying Merlin from behind before he lifted his hand and pushed one of Merlin’s shoulders lightly.  
The reaction was imminent.

‘OUCH! Gaius! What was that for?’ Merlin looked at his mentor accusingly.

‘Did you use the ointment I have made for you?’ Gaius asked.

‘Yes. Well. A little.’ Now he looked guilty. 

‘If you don’t use it, you will have trouble moving for another fortnight.’

‘It stinks.’ Merlin complained.

‘Yes, but it helps. Really Merlin, you have smelled worse.’

‘Arthur’s socks, you mean?’

Gaius gave him a scolding look before he attended to his books. A few minutes of silence passed in which Merlin turned his chair so the fire would now warm his bruised back.  
‘Have you seen Arthur today?’ he eventually asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Has he… asked about me?’

‘No.’

_Huh._

‘Maybe you should go see him.’ Gaius said after a moment.

Merlin snorted. 

Gaius put his book down and looked at his protege over his glasses. ‘You cannot run from this, my lad. And with Aredian in your back you cannot afford stalling.’

Merlin nodded and bit his lip. He knew Gaius was right. If only his stomach would stop doing somersaults.

-

His hand was shaking slightly when he knocked on Arthur’s door. He heard a muffled ‘yes’ from the inside.  
Merlin put his forehead against the wood and took a deep breath before pushing the door open.

Arthur was sitting at his desk writing what appeared to be some political correspondence. He looked up when Merlin entered and Merlin could see his face closing up. ‘Merlin.’ he said, continuing to write. ‘This is the first time you actually knocked before coming in.’

Merlin nodded. Then cleared his throat. Then found every corner of Arthur’s chamber ridiculously interesting.

‘How can I help you?’ Arthur asked after a moment, still writing.

Merlin rubbed his hands together as he thought of what to say. He wasn’t quite sure he could read the situation. He had counted on an angry Arthur. Angry about him not being around all day. Or angry about him still being around. But definitely angry.  
Merlin’s gut feeling reappeared from the day before. That he had to decide for the path of truth now if he was to stand any chance.  
‘I wanted to apologise for being absent today, sire.’ he said stiffly.

‘Where have you been?’ Arthur asked casually.

‘Gaius sent me out to acquire herbs.’

‘That’s it?’

‘Yes.’

Arthur didn’t say anything anymore, and Merlin felt lost. ‘You… didn’t ask for me. Or rather… screamed my name all over the castle.’ Merlin tried, smirking weakly.

Arthur dropped his quill as if it had just burned his hand. He looked up, and his eyes glistened with something. Finally, there it was. Anger. ‘No, Merlin. I did not. When you did not show up this morning, I assumed you had left.’

‘What? You mean, for good?’ Merlin asked.

Arthur looked exasperated. ‘Yes. For good.’

‘Well… I was thinking about it. For a moment. But I couldn’t.’

‘You couldn’t. And why is that?’

‘Because I couldn’t just leave you.’ Merlin heard himself say. Arthur didn’t seem to have a response to this. Merlin took a deep breath and took one step towards Arthur. ‘Arthur… let me explain… yesterday… I -‘

But Arthur held up a hand. ‘Merlin, stop. I don’t want to know. My father would have your head. And Aredian a bonfire. I am the prince of Camelot. I cannot have a conversation like this.’

Merlin took a step back, looking like he had just gotten a slap in the face. He nodded. ‘I understand.’

‘Do you want me to leave? For good?’ Merlin asked after a moment of awkward silence.

‘No.’ Arthur finally responded. Then, when the word was hanging too heavily in the air, he added: ‘Not right now anyways. It would look too suspicious with Aredian around.’

Merlin nodded again.

Another awkward silence.

‘You were right, by the way. I found those roots in the dining hall. I burned them all.’ Arthur eventually said.

‘Good.’ was all Merlin could think of. His eyes wandered to the window. It already got dark. He could see the window glass freezing in the corners.  
‘What do you want me to do now?’ Merlin asked.

‘Fist and foremost, to stay out of Aredian’s way. And second…’ he pulled something up from under his table and threw it into Merlin’s face. It was one of Arthur’s tunics. ‘… get back to work. I’m almost out of clean clothes.’

-

The next morning Merlin was woken up by loud noises from the inner castle courtyard. He mumbled something incoherently and turned around, putting his pillow over his head. But the noise wouldn’t go away. On the contrary, with time even more noises came in through the window, and Merlin groaned. It sounded like some kind of construction was going on. He could also hear people talking. It was not the usual chatter of people going about their morning. It was filled with something that made Merlin finally open his eyes and sit up. He rubbed his eyes, blinking against the dim dawn.

‘Merlin!’ someone shouted before his door was pushed open and a breathless Lancelot was standing in his room. Merlin got such a fright, he almost fell out of bed. 

‘Lancelot. What on earth…?’ he said, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

‘We got the order in the early morning hours. The boy is in the dungeons now. They are building a stake in the yard as we speak. I am sorry, Merlin.’

‘Wait, slow down. What are you talking about?’ Merlin asked confused.

But Lancelot already retreated again. ‘I have to go. I just wanted to warn you. In case you can do something.’ He looked heartbroken at his friend before hurrying out. Merlin heard the study door shut.

A moment later a sleepy Gaius appeared. ‘What was that about?’ he yawned.

‘I don’t know.’ Merlin said, quickly getting up and looking outside his little window.

There it was. A stake had already been erected, and Camelot guards were just throwing dry twig bundles around it from a carriage. More and more citizens were slowly gathering around the spectacle, most of them dressed in thick woollen clothing and hoods to keep warm in the snow. They were murmuring to each other, pointing and looking around uneasily.

‘What is the meaning of this?’ Gaius asked worried, gazing over Merlin’s shoulder.

‘Nothing good, that’s for sure.’ Merlin responded. He quickly hurried to his closet and got dressed. ‘I will find out.’ 

‘Be careful, Merlin.’ was the only thing the old man could say before Merlin was out of the room.

Most fires in the castle had not been lit yet and Merlin felt the ice cold clawing at him as he hurried along the castle corridors. His breath was creating white clouds in front of him before they disappeared again. He saw two guards walking towards him.  
‘Hey!’ he called out to them. ‘What’s going on?’

‘A sorcerer is about to be burned.’ one of the guards said.

‘A sorcerer? Who?’ Merlin asked.

‘We don’t have permission to talk about it. The king is already on his way to pass the sentence publicly.’ the other one explained, and without waiting for a reply, they walked on.

Merlin looked after them with a haunted expression.  
He started running towards the dungeons, almost crashing into some handmaidens on the way.  
When he arrived at the staircase, he was blocked by two other guards who crossed their lances when he tried to run past them.  
‘I am prince Arhur’s manservant. Let me pass.’ he said impatiently.

‘We have orders not to let anyone past this point.’ the taller one said.

‘Who are you holding? What has he done?’

‘We have orders not to discuss the case with anyone.’ the tall one said. ‘Now leave.’

Merlin thought for a moment to use magic. He glanced over the banister down and saw a sea of silver and red. Too many to take on alone at this moment.  
He bit his lip as he turned around and left. He had to talk to Arthur. He must know what was going on. As he slithered around a corner, he just saw the king walk at the end of the corridor, his cloak swinging behind him. The crimson was sickeningly foreboding. Behind him marched several knights and he could also see the black stetson and long cloak of Aredian. Then they turned a corner and were gone. Merlin knew where they were going. He was all too familiar with the procedure. It was the first thing he had witnessed when he came to Camelot, blowing the starry eyed gleam right out of his eyes as he saw the man burn that day.

Merlin turned around and ran to the nearest balcony which overlooked the courtyard. Swirling snow was hitting his face as his hands were grasping the cold balcony railing. He could see the stake had already been finished by now and the guards were telling the crowd of people to back off and make space. The doors to the dungeons swung open and a parade of guards appeared, dragging along a young man in chains. Lancelot was walking behind them, looking wildly uncomfortable. 

Merlin turned to see king Uther stand high and mighty on his balcony, one hand touching the railing, another stemmed into his hip. Next to him Aredian smirked. His black cloak and the king’s red cloak seemed to dance with each other in the winter wind.

‘People of Camelot!’ Uther said loudly, raising one hand in the air to command attention. ‘As the sun is rising on this new day, it marks the dawn of a new time for the people of our kingdom!’

‘Merlin! What is going on?’ he heard a voice behind him and saw Morgana enter the balcony. 

‘It... it looks like Uther is executing someone.’ he answered.

‘Who? Why?’ Morgana leaned over the balcony next to him, trying to take in the scene.

As they paraded the young man around the yard, Merlin could see that this was no man at all, but a teenage boy. The pimply boy he had seen earlier at the market. His blue eyes looked through dark blonde hair with fear.

‘It has been 20 years since the last cleansing of this city that freed us of the tyranny of magic. But it seems that this evil force has tried its way back into our kingdom, threatening our peace and prosperity once more. I will guarantee you, as your king, that I will do everything within my power to not let that happen. Magic has never and will never have a place in Camelot. And everyone who violates this rule will face the consequences.’ Uther’s voice echoed through the yard.  
By now they had lead the boy to the stake and were binding him to it. Lancelot was not one of them. He stood a bit away, making sure the crowd wouldn't get too close.

‘Morgana, maybe you shouldn’t see this.’ Merlin said.

‘Do you think this is the first burning I see?’ she responded amused. ‘I need to see this. I need to see them all.’

Merlin’s thoughts raced. He was going through every possibility how he could save this boy. But he had not enough time. It all just went too fast. He couldn’t do anything that would not expose himself, too.

Uther continued: ‘This boy here has sold amulets to the good people of Camelot. Amulets that held magic. To bring back its twisted ways to the households and into the people’s minds. Such treacherous behaviour is a direct violation of the law and will be punished with the utmost severity. Let this be a lesson and a warning to all.’

‘I need to do something.’ Merlin said desperately, watching the guards get the torches.

‘There is nothing you can do.’ Morgana said.

‘I have to. We cannot just let him die.’

Morgana lay a hand on his arm. He looked at her. ‘Merlin. If you do something now, it wouldn’t help anyone. They would just simply burn you, too. Please, Merlin. You cannot help him anymore. He is lost.’

Merlin shook his head. This couldn’t be. It couldn’t. Someone else appeared behind Uther now. It was Arthur, and Merlin’s insides froze.

The teenage boy at the stake had closed his eyes, and didn’t seem to hear the parole’s of insults that the people were throwing his way. His lips moved soundlessly as if in prayer. The guards had positioned themselves now in a circle around the stake, each with a bright burning torch in their hand. They were waiting for the king’s order.

‘I, Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot, sentence you to death by fire. May it burn out sorceries wicked ways that have taken a hold in you.’ Uther exclaimed.

The crowd echoed the king’s sentence as the guards stepped closer and lit the twigs. Lighting a fire in the snow wasn’t easy, but the fire caught and the flames slowly rose higher and started licking at the boy’s feet. Merlin saw he kept his eyes squeezed shut as his lips moved more frantically, as if he wanted to quickly finish a sentence as long as he still could. He thought he could see tears glistening on his cheeks.

Morgana seemed to notice Merlin’s unrest and took his arm with both hands to restrain him from doing anything stupid. But it wasn’t Morgana’s hands that kept him in place. It was the picture of Arthur standing next to his father and Aredian, watching this happen. They were too far away to tell for sure, but Merlin could have sworn Arthur’s eyes were resting on Merlin most of the time with a warning expression. The prince’s words echoed in Merlin’s mind from the evening before: _‘Stay out of Aredian’s way.’_

The flames danced up as the snow danced down, and Merlin watched the boy burn. Watched the flames grow higher and wider as they fed on his clothes and skin. In the end, the boy stopped praying and screamed out his agony for everyone to hear. It chilled Merlin’s blood more than the snow ever could. He pursed his lips as the smell of burning flesh hit his nose. Morgana’s fingers dug slowly into his arm as they both stood and watched the horrific scene unfold. Eventually, it ended and the boy stopped screaming. His body was nothing but a vague silhouette inside a burning fire. Lancelot was nowhere to be found anymore. 

‘Let it be known that, from this day on, no one is save from judgement. If you are an innocent law abiding citizen, you have nothing to fear. But if you hold any form of sorcery, or protect someone who does, know that this will be your punishment. You will be found out. Just as he has.’ Uther pointed at the burning corpse.  
‘I hereby authorise Aredian, the royal court’s witch finder, to take any measures necessary to weed out this new seed of sorcery. We will rip it out, root and stem. Just as we have before.’ Uther now gestured to Aredian, who stepped forward. ‘Aredian is authorised to enter any home at any given time and take anyone prisoner if he finds suspicions against them. To disobey him is to disobey me. And don't have the illusion that this second cleansing will stop at the castle doors.’ Uther continued and stepped aside. Merlin’s gasped as the king revealed Clarice, small and terrified, held by a guard on each side.

‘If we find magic within these walls, they will be prosecuted in the same fashion. No matter the status. No matter the age.’ Uther announced. The crowd was not cheering or approving as they looked at the terrified girl; they started murmuring instead, some shouted their disapproval. Merlin could make out the woman from the market today, easily recognisable in the midst of all these people by her wild curly hair. She was staring up at the king, her face full of hatred, yelling obscenities.

'That bastard couldn't get to us, so now he tries to get to the people of Camelot instead.' Merlin whispered, watching as they dragged Clarice away.

'Or he tries to get to us through them.' Morgana said.

-


	9. Chapter 9

‘Did you know about this?’

Arthur whirled around, his cloak drawing a half circle on the floor. ‘For Camelot’s sake, Merlin. Don’t sneak up on me like that.’

Merlin leaned against a stone pillar, half hidden so no one would see him easily. ‘Did you know about this?’ he asked again. 

Arhur looked around. His father and Aredian had kept walking and were out of eye sight. ‘No.’

Merlin clenched his jaw, crossing his arms in front of his chest. They were itching to grab the prince, to shake the truth out of him. ‘When you told me yesterday to stay out of Aredian’s way. Is that what you meant? To step aside and let my kin burn?’

‘Merlin. No. I did not.’ Arthur said slowly.

‘How can I trust what you say?’

‘Well, for one I am not the one lying ever since the first day we met.’ 

Merlin drew his breath in and his fists hardened. He had to look away. So did Arthur.

‘I need to go. They are waiting for me.’ Arthur said after a moment.

‘So do I.’ Merlin agreed and pushed past Arthur.

‘Merlin. Hey. Merlin!’ Arthur called after him, but Merlin kept walking.

\---

‘Look who finally found his way back into my humble chambers.’ the dragon said amused. ‘I started to think you had forgotten how to find me.’

Merlin was not in the mood for Khilgharrah’s sarcasm. The torch he held in his hand was flickering wildly as he held it high. ‘I need to talk to you.’ he said.

‘So I figured.’ the dragon looked up. ‘I smell fear and burned life in the air. What is happening up there, young Warlock?’

‘Uther has proclaimed a second purge against magic. He calls it the second cleansing. This morning he already burned a boy. And it is all my fault.’ Merlin’s vision got blurry and he angrily blinked his tears away.

Khilgharrah tilted his head and rearranged his massive body on the rock he always liked to sit when they were talking. ‘It seems a lot has been going on. Tell me the tale, Merlin.’

And Merlin did. He told the dragon everything from the horse in the smoke and what chain of events it had set loose ever since. While he was telling the story, he felt the knot in his throat growing thicker and thicker until it made his voice sound like it wasn’t his own anymore.

The dragon let him talk and interrupted only sporadically to inquire more information. At the end, Merlin felt not even strong enough to hold his torch anymore.  
Khilgarrah didn’t scold him or made any reproachful remarks. He seemed to be deep in thought as his old, golden eyes considered the man in front of him.

‘Please. Give me something. Anything.’ Merlin pleaded, spreading his arms out in defeat.

‘I am wondering two things, young warlock. Why have you not come to me earlier and why are you coming to me now?’

Merlin thought for a moment. ‘I didn’t come sooner because… I knew you would not have approved of the decisions I had been making. But now I realise that everything I have done to try and make things better, I made them worse instead. And I am at a loss about what to do next. Which is why I am here now.’

The dragon closed his eyes and sank his head. His scaly tail was swinging from left to right along the stone. ‘I must say, Merlin, that I am not sure how to read these developments. I am uncertain on what to advise you. All I can say is that you are the key figure in this and -‘

‘No.’ Merlin shook his head vehemently. ‘Not this talk again. I am sick of being the centre figure of some great destiny bullshit. All this has ever done was giving me sleepless nights and a weight on my shoulders no human being should have to bare. I’ve had enough of it. Look how often I messed things up in the past. How completely I messed things up now. Clearly I am not some chosen one. I am one who runs things against the wall. Repeatedly. If there is some great warlock out there who is supposed to bring a new era, then I think you need to keep looking again. Because it is not me.’

The dragon looked unimpressed as Merlin worked himself up, swinging his arms around, his torch following along like a dancing fireball.  
‘Young warlock. It is your destiny to advise and protect Arthur, so that you two can bring about the golden age of Albion. There is no doubt about that.’

‘All I brought about was a genocide! And Arthur, the one who was supposed to bring magic back, was standing there, right next to the king, watching it happen.’ Merlin disagreed.

‘It might be that this is all part of the great plan. The future is not written in stone. And how a destiny fulfils itself is not always clear, and often not in the way one might expect.’ the dragon answered patiently.

‘I watched a boy burn! I watched him being eaten alive by flames and I did nothing to prevent it!’ Merlin yelled now, tears streaming down his cheeks.

‘There was nothing you could have done, young warlock. Watching it happen was the only right thing to do, however painful it must have been for you. Your role is not to be a martyr.’

‘No.’ Merlin agreed. ‘My role is that of a murderer.’

‘On the contrary. It is to be a saviour. And instead of dwelling on the life you could not save, focus on the many lives that you can. I remember the great purge well. 20 years for a dragon is nothing but a stone throw away, and I can see every detail as if it had only happened yesterday. If Uther is to repeat this horror, then the boy was only the beginning and many more people will loose their lives in the time to come. Try to save our kin, young warlock. Save magic.’

Merlin tilted his head upwards and closed his eyes. ‘I don’t know how I could possibly do that.’

‘An essential part of it is to rip out the core of the evil.’ Khilgharrah advised.

‘Uther?’ Merlin asked, opening his eyes again.

‘No. In this case it is the witch finder. I remember him well. His role is the last great purge was substantial, no blood spilled was enough to still his thirst for revenge. It is what makes him so dangerous.’

‘Revenge?’ Merlin asked, frowning. ‘For what?’

‘For loosing what he loved most. He blames it on magic, and would not rest until he sees the last of it estinguished.’ the dragon explained.

‘What did he loose?’ Merlin asked.

‘That, young warlock, is what you have to find out for yourself. Find what he lost. It is both what drives him and what will destroy him in the end.’

Another one of Khilgharrah’s favourite riddle talks. Merlin looked displeased. ‘We could save a lot of time if you would just tell me straight up, you know.’

The dragon chuckled, showing his massive teeth. ‘Oh, the impatience of youth. It is not about saving time. It is about finding your own way. The way you cannot see right now. No one can find it for you, I can only point you in the right direction.’

‘Fine. Have it your way. As always.’ Merlin said frustrated.

Khilgharrah looked amused at the little figure in front of him. ‘If I would have it my way, I would not sit here, chained up, forgotten to the world.’ he pointed out. ‘Remember what you promised me, Merlin.’

‘I will free you. But I first need to sort out this mess. If I can.’ he added gloomily.

Merlin turned and started leaving, when his feet halted, and he turned around once more. ‘Khilgharrah.’

‘Yes, Merlin?’

‘Are you sure about Arthur?’ he asked. The tone in his voice sounded almost desperate. ‘Are you certain it is him who will bring magic back to this land?’

‘I am.’ the dragon responded, almost tenderly. ‘But he will only be able to do so with your help. Arthur needs you to guide him. Never forget that. Just as you need him. Without each other, both of you will fail.’

‘And what about Morgana?’ 

‘I also stand by what I said about the witch. I think you made a grave mistake in revealing yourself to her. But alas, you did. The things at work here are bigger than you or me or her. And maybe Morgana has a part to play that is yet veiled to the world.’

-

Loud voices erupted from the throne room when Merlin passed. He recognised Arthur’s voice, and the king’s. They grew louder and angrier and Merlin’s steps slowed. He glanced around if anyone was watching before slipping behind a thick curtain. Then he closed his eyes and tried his best to make out the words spoken, but the walls were too thick. He pressed his ear against the stone cold wall, his eyes glistening up as he tried to increase his hearing with magic. He almost jumped when he suddenly could hear something heavy fall on the floor and burst, so loud as if it had happened right next to him. Instinctively Merlin looked around if he had not indeed pushed a heavy vase over or something. But nothing was there. Now a loud bursting sound followed. Then there were quick steps coming closer and before Merlin could react, the doors next to him flew open. 

‘You will not turn your back on me!’ he heard Uther yell. ‘Arthur. Arthur! You come back this instant!’

Merlin dared to glance out from behind the red curtain and saw Arthur stalking off, his red cloak flying behind him.  
When Arthur had turned a corner, Merlin disappeared behind the curtain again and rested his head against the wall. His eyes were following the pattern of the velvet cloth in front of him. Velvet had such a smooth texture, its red shimmering as it all seemed to flow harmonically in one direction. But it only needed a single stroke of a finger to change both pattern and colour, and the harmony was gone. Merlin wondered if this was what it felt like to be king.  
Merlin tried it a few times, guiding the patterns this way and that while he waited for the air be clear. Uther did not leave the throne room for quite a while, and even when he did with a bunch of guards and servants in tow and there was no one left, Merlin found he did not desire to leave his hiding spot. For he felt directionless and did not know where to go or what to do next.

The dragon’s words circled in his head, doing nothing but stirring up the muddy waters of his brain even more, making it impossible for Merlin to see clearly.  
And so he stayed behind that curtain, hearing guards patrol by, and servants hurrying past or exchanging gossip with each other. Then, he heard a stride he would recognise in an instant again and his eyes narrowed.

‘Is everything prepared?’

‘Yes, my lord.’

‘And they have guards in front of their doors?’

‘Day and night, my lord.’

Merlin held his breath and peeked out from his hiding spot. He saw Aredian slowly walking past next to a Camelot guard. One hand was behind his back, the other was playing with one of his several chains around his neck.

‘Good. Make sure we will keep this schedule for the next few days. The family is only to be brought the bare minimum of food and drink.’

‘Understood. What should we do about the girl? Is she to be separated from her parents and put into the dungeons?’ the guard asked.

Merlin saw Aredian look at one of his necklace chains and only noticed now, that one of them seemed to hold an amulet. The witch finder opened it with his thumb and looked at whatever it held.

‘My lord?’ the guard asked.

‘Keep the girl with the parents for now. We will deal with them soon enough.’ Aredian finally responded as he closed the amulet again.

The guard nodded, bowed his head slightly and walked off. Merlin watched Aredian slowly disappear in the opposite direction, his shadow creeping along the torch lit corridor until he was gone.

-

When Merlin walked into Gaius’ study, he first thought he had walked into the wrong room as many eyes were staring at him.

‘Woah. What is happening here?’ he asked confused, taking in all the people that stood and sat around. 

‘They are all waiting for you.’ Gaius responded, while lighting candles. It had well gotten dark outside, and snow was dancing in front of the windows again.

‘For me? Why?’ Merlin asked, slowly shutting the door, but staying at the entrance of the room.

The little gathering was glancing at one another, and no one spoke. Merlin realised they had not all met here together on purpose.

‘Well.’ Lancelot cleared his throat. ‘I don’t know about anyone else here, but Sir Leon here,’ he gestured at the blonde curly haired knight next to him, ‘and I, we wanted to talk to you, Merlin. About the events of today. We are very concerned about what the king has announced.’ Leon was stirring uncomfortably at Lancelot’s words.

Merlin looked at Gwen and Morgana. ‘Uhm… yes, I think I am here for the same reason.’ Gwen admitted, putting a curl behind her ear.

Morgana just nodded.

‘I see… no, wait. I don’t see. How did you all come to the conclusion I can help you with that?’ Merlin asked into the room, a confused frown on his forehead.

More glances and shifting. Merlin knew that none of them dared to speak openly, especially the people who had come to ask Merlin for help because of his magic. He realised he was glad they could not request it in this situation right now.

‘You are in good standing with Arthur.’ Gwen broke the silence. ‘More than that, his friend even. I was wondering if you could maybe… talk to him. Maybe get him to talk to the king to end this… cleansing.’ 

Merlin heard a humourless chuckle escape his own lips. ‘Do you really think Arthur would listen to me?’   
A murmur of agreement and nodding followed. Merlin rolled his eyes and he quickly added: ‘And even if he would. I doubt Uther could be reasoned with. You all know how he is when it comes to magic. I think even his own son can't reach him in this matter.’

‘Uther will not listen. To anything anyone says, if it goes against his ideals and convictions.’ Morgana agreed. ‘I guarantee you that much.’

‘But we have to try and do something.’ Lancelot said, stepping forward. ‘I am… I… I helped arrest a boy today. A boy who, as far as we know, did nothing wrong. And he did not get a trial. No chance to prove his innocence or guilt. And he… burned.’ The trainee knight’s hands were slightly shaking. Merlin winced as his own memories of this morning resurfaced.

‘I am… to be a knight of Camelot. It was my dream ever since I can remember. To serve under a just ruler for a cause that is noble and right. I did not come here to take part in burning people. I… we cannot allow that.’ Lancelot ended, gesturing again to Sir Leon. ‘We believe it goes against everything the knight code stands for.’

‘Of course we do not suggest treason.’ Leon spoke for the first time. ‘We serve the king and hold his interest in the highest regard. But… we fear that maybe this… this witch finder has clouded the king’s mind and judgement.’ Leon looked stoically to the floor, as if he had just committed an unforgivable sin.

‘He is a rat that needs to be weeded out.’ Morgana agreed in an openly hostile tone.

‘My lady.’ Lancelot bowed slightly. ‘You are the king’s ward. Maybe your word would hold some weight if you would -‘

Morgana started giggling and held her stomach. Lancelot looked perplexed. ‘My word holds the weight of the wind blowing outside. Uther, or Arthur, would not even listen to me.’ she spat.

‘And let’s not forget that she had just been the subject of a magic investigation.’ Gaius now entered the conversation, stepping into the half circle of people. ‘It would be unwise for her to put herself openly in Aredian’s way. We don’t want his focus back on her. Or on Merlin, for that matter. God knows what he will do.’

Everyone was staring at Gaius. The physician answered the looks. ‘Of course I am part of this… group here, too. I lived through the first purge, 20 years ago. And I shall do everything I can not to have to see something like this ever again.’

‘But how can this even become a second purge?’ Gwen asked. ‘This entire debacle happened because of a magical sighting that cannot even be verified, and didn’t even happen here. Everyone who holds magic is surely way too terrified to set foot back into Camelot. There is no magic here.’

Merlin felt Morgana’s eyes on him.

‘I am afraid it matters little if magic has indeed returned or not. I remember vividly that Uther did not only burn actual sorcerers and witches. Many innocents were among the victims, too. It was often enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time to make the king’s list. I expect it will not be any different this time.’ Gaius explained heavily.

Everyone was staring at the floor or the ceiling.

Merlin remembered the dragon’s words from earlier and scratched his jaw. ‘Gaius, do you know if Aredian lost something at some point? Maybe during the last purge? Something that was dear to him?’

‘Not that I am aware. I always knew him as he is now. Travelling around the island, operating alone. I never knew him to treasure any people or things in his life other than his witch finder cause.’ the physician replied. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘Well…’ Merlin shrugged. ‘I agree with Morgana that we need to focus on Aredian as the prime force behind this movement. We need to find a way to stop him.’ A murmur of agreement could be heard. ‘And I was thinking one way to go about this is to find out Aredian’s weaknesses. His motives. With such knowledge we could find a way to go forward.’ Merlin could see Morgana’s nostrils flare, but the others seemed more keen.

‘How would we find this out?’ Lancelot asked.

‘Aredian’s chambers might hold some answers.’ Gaius said casually and Merlin had to smile.

Leon drew in his breath. ‘You mean breaking into the witch finder’s chambers?’

‘Good idea!’ Lancelot exclaimed.

‘But isn’t this very risky?’ Gwen asked.

‘Wouldn’t it be easier to just kill Aredian?’ Morgana wondered.

Every head turned to her. The king’s ward just shrugged. ‘Everyone here is thinking it, isn’t that true? I am just the one saying it out loud. It would save a lot of time and effort.’

Gwen bit her lips, while Lancelot and Leon looked at each other. Gaius only raised his well trained brow at Morgana, and Merlin scratched his head in unease.

‘Killing the… the court witch finder, a high guest of the king… no, this would take it too far. The king would see it as treason. We as Camelot knights, cannot allow something like this.’ Leon said vigorously. 

‘You did however allow a boy to be executed today. Aredian would at least deserve it.’ Morgana shot back.

Leon was opening and closing his mouth like a fish on dry land, and Lancelot put a hand on his shoulder.

‘Morgana.’ Merlin said silently. ‘This is not the way.’

She leaned back, looking at Merlin provocatively. ‘Isn’t it?’

‘Everyone.’ Gaius said loudly, putting his hands out in a calming manner. ‘Please. It is clear emotions are high today. And while I understand the anger, I don’t think the eye for an eye tactic will work out well for us. If Uther sees Aredian murdered, he will immediately blame sorcery for it, which will undoubtedly fan the flames. And I mean this literally. I think handling this with violence, we might escalate the second cleansing even further.’

‘Gaius is right.’ Merlin interjected quickly. ‘It might not feel very satisfactory at this moment, but it is definitely the saver route to first gather information and then use this to beat Aredian in a much subtler and smarter way. You all came to me tonight to ask for my help, did you not? So this is the help I offer. I offer to go into Aredian’s chambers and try to find out whatever I can.’

‘No Merlin, Gaius just said neither Morgana nor your should-‘ Lancelot started, but Merlin held up a hand.

‘I know. But I am the best person to do it. Morgana really shouldn’t come back in Aredian’s way, and attracts too much attention anyways as she is a high member of the court. You as knights of Camelot are not fit to do this either. We need you amongst the knights to gather information there as well.’ Merlin explained.

‘But I could-‘ Gwen started, but Merlin shook his head.

‘No, Gwen. I wouldn’t ever want to risk you. Besides, I know the castle like the inside of my pocket. And I know Aredian’s schedule like no one else, I can get at it the easiest by talking to Arthur. So. It is decided. I will do it.’

Merlin looked around challenging, as if he expected he had to fight his point further against objections. The others must have seen the determination on his face, for everyone nodded after a short while, looking apprehensive.

‘But we want to do something, too. It can’t be that only you risk your neck.’ Lancelot threw in. Everyone murmured agreement again.

‘And you shall.’ Merlin agreed. ‘You all work and live in different parts of the castle, and hear people talking from every corner, every profession, from court to servant quarters. Keep eyes and ears open, talk to people, gather every information you can. Every piece of information could come in useful. We meet again here in a few days and share what we have found out.’ 

Some more nodding, this time with a bit more spirit. Lancelot, Gaius and Gwen smiled proudly at Merlin.

‘What about the girl? Clarice? What is Uther going to do with her?’ Morgana asked. 

‘I overheard Aredian talking to a guard. They will keep her and her family under room arrest for the moment. But I think we will have to think about how to get them out of the castle eventually.’ Merlin responded.

‘Let me keep an eye on the Lightstone’s. I provide them with medicine, and will see what information I can gather there. But as Merlin just said, I think they will have to flee if they are to survive. And we should help them do it.’ Gaius said.

Leon looked deeply troubled, but the others agreed loudly.

Merlin clapped into his hands once. ‘Well. I think we all have a lot of work to do now. The thick snow clouds veil the sight, but it is still a new moon tonight. So let’s meet again when the new moon goes into the first quarter and share what we found out. Let’s try to save Camelot.’   
He was met with excited faces of this new little group that had formed in this room tonight, connected by the determination to do the right thing.

And when they all had left Gaius’ study, the physician put his hands on his protege’s cheeks and said: ‘I think you did a very important tonight. But I beg you, for the sake of on old man’s heart. Be careful, Merlin.’

-

‘It is getting time.’ Merlin was looking outside of the window and saw the sun slowly sinking, casting long shadows in her parting. 

‘I still think firmer action would be required.’ Morgana remarked.

‘I know.’

‘We both have magic, Merlin. It would be so easy. Aredian would fall with one shining eye.’

‘He would.’

‘The time has come for magic to reclaim what has been taken away.’

‘Yes.’

‘Then why-‘

‘Because this is not the way. This is not the way to bring magic back. If we force it back with bloodshet, we are no better than Uther.’ Merlin said forcefully, turning to her.

Morgana looked unimpressed. ‘Those are pretty words, Merlin. But they hold nothing. Blood needs to be met with blood. Uther and Aredian would get nothing more than what they deserve. I think you are making a big mistake.’

‘Maybe. But I am prepared to put it to the test. Now. Show it to me once again.’

Morgana exhaled frustrated before whispering an incantation. Her eyes lit up like the sun and the hand mirror laying on the table started floating up. Morgana held it there for a few moments, vibrating violently, before if fell back down.

'Try not to focus on it too much, hold your hand more relaxed. The tension in your hand and mind creates the vibration. The mirror will burst eventually with this pressure. The calmer you are, the calmer the object you are trying to manipulate will be. But otherwise, very good.' Merlin smiled. Morgana couldn’t help but smile back.

‘I will practice.’ she said.

‘I hope so. The quicker you learn how to channel and control your magic, the saver you are.’ Merlin pressed one of Morgana’s hands gently before heading for the door.

‘Don’t forget. One hour.’ she reminded him as he opened the door to her chambers and checked if the corridors were empty.

‘I know. If he comes back sooner, you know what to do.’ Merlin said and Morgana nodded.

‘Thank you, Morgana.’

‘Oh, shush. Out with you.’ she said and pushed him playfully out of the door.

Merlin strode casually along the corridors, whistling the tune of a song Hunith used to sing to him as a child. He hoped Arthur wouldn’t show up right now with some more pointless chores for Merlin, that would be disastrous for his plan. The chance for this was low however, as Arthur and Merlin didn’t talk much these days and Merlin realised he found a silent Arthur just as irritating as Arthur found a silent Merlin. 

But at the same time he could not think of anything to say when he was making Arthur’s bed or serving Arthur’s food. The divide that had rattled through them gaped open like a wide canyon and Merlin did not know how to cross it. How to reach Arthur at this moment. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to. And the chances for conversation were minimal anyways as Arthur had made it a habit to leave his chambers when Merlin was working in them. And ride next to his knights instead of next to him when they were going hunting. 

At the same time, Merlin felt a burning stare drilling right through his back whenever he turned his back on Arthur. It was quite unnerving. Merlin was glad he could focus on his Aredian’s chamber mission, as he liked to call it in his head. He had announced to their little group how easy it would be to get at Aredian’s schedule through Arthur. But since Arthur didn’t talk to him, Merlin tried to catch hints here and there when he heart Arthur talking to Aredian or to other members of the court. The little bits he could find out were not enough however, to fit together a reliable schedule. And so he was glad when Morgana jumped in and was able to extract useful information from Uther.

Merlin’s steps echoed in the bare high castle walls as he made his way to the laundresses. When he arrived, a little pile of folded black clothes were waiting for him and Merlin picked them up and carried them away as if he was ordered to do it. Then he made his way to Aredian’s chambers.

As he turned the last corner, he saw Aredian’s door chamber open and the tall man stepping out. Quickly, Merlin vanished behind the corner again and waited with a halted breath until Aredian’s steps were fading in the distance. He had been right on time. His blue eyes pierced around the corner after another moment of silence and when he found the corridor empty, he hurried to the freshly locked door. His eyes lit up golden and he heard the lock inside click. Drawing a deep breath, his hand pushed down the door handle and the door gave in readily with a little creak. He was just about to slide inside, when a firm grasp on his arm made him freeze.

‘What are you doing?’ he heard the last voice he wanted to hear right now and he turned around.

Arthur was looking right at him.

-


	10. Chapter 10

‘I… bring Aredian his clean clothes.’ Merlin responded as calmly as he could while his heart seemed to jump out of his throat. He was convinced Arthur must hear it beating.

The prince raised his eyebrows at Merlin’s excuse. ‘Is that so.’

They heard footsteps and laughing voices coming closer and both of their heads flew up in alert.

‘Quick. Get in.’ Arthur urged.

‘What?’

‘In!’ Arthur pushed his servant gently through the door before sliding in himself and closing the door behind them as silently as he could.  
They waited with halted breaths, listening intensely. The voices on the other side grew louder and louder, so did the laughing. It sounded like joking handmaidens. 

‘No, he didn’t.’

‘I’m telling you, he did.’

More giggling and shovelling. It now sounded as if they were right in front of the door, and Merlin glanced at Arthur with a worried expression.

‘And then, what did you do?’ one of the maidens asked excitedly. A sudden bang against the door made the two men jump, and Arthur grabbed Merlin’s wrist in alarm. The door clicked and opened slightly.

‘You are such a silly thing, look what you did.’ The same handmaiden lectured playfully, before closing the door again.

‘You asked me what I did. So I showed you.’ the other one snickered.

‘You could have just told me you pushed him away. Not actually do it. And against the door of that scary man of all places.’ the first one said, her voice finally sounding more distant.

They kept gossiping as their voices grew faint again, and their laughter died out in the distance.  
Only when it was completely silent did Arthur and Merlin relax. 

‘I thought that’s it.’ Arthur exhaled deeply, and pushed one hand through his hair. 

‘It would have been a bit hard to explain.’ Merlin agreed, breathing deeply a few times to calm his nerves. ‘Can you… erm…’ he added a bit awkwardly, nodding towards Arthur’s hand, which was still clutching his wrist.

Arthur followed his gaze, and when he saw what Merlin meant, he immediately yanked his hand away as if it had been stung. ‘So…’ he cleared his throat. ‘You got around explaining this situation to some servants. But you won’t get around explaining it to me. What the hell are you doing here?’

‘I told you. Here, see?’ Merlin responded as he pointedly put Aredian’s laundry down unto his bed.

Arthur crossed his arms in front of his chest, which seemed to swell underneath his red tunic. ‘I swear to all that is holy, Merlin, if you don’t tell me the truth this instant, I will drag you to my father and…’

‘And what?’ Merlin cut in angrily. ‘Let him execute me for magic too?’

‘No. Let him fire you for the lazy and lying excuse of a manservant that you are.’

'Why bother Uther with this? You can just do it right here right now yourself.'

They glared at each other for a few moments, before Merlin broke the staring contest. He had no time for this. The clock was ticking. ’Fine. After that boy burned I figured following your advise and staying out of Aredian’s way isn’t working so well for me. So I…’

‘So you…?’ Arthur repeated, letting his hand draw circles in the air to encourage Merlin to go on. ‘You thought breaking into his chambers might definitely put you right in his way.’ Arthur finished then when Merlin didn’t answer.

‘I don’t want to be in his way. I want to find something that we can use against him.’

‘Who is we?’ Arthur’s eyes narrowed.

Shit. ‘Figure of speech, Arthur. Only I alone can be so stupid and do risky stuff like this, right?’ Merlin tried to laugh it off, but Arthur didn’t look convinced. It seemed he wanted to say something, but then thought better of it and instead started to look around.

Merlin followed his gaze, trying to take the room in. It was spacious and had many windows, which showed a ever darker turning blue sky. The sun had gone down.   
Aredian's desk was organised and clean. A black cloak was hanging on the outside of his closet. A bowl of fruits decorated the table. All chairs were neatly pushed in, so that only their backs could be seen sticking up, embracing the table all around. The bed was made and the pillows fluffed.

‘So.’ Arthur seemed to swallow something really hard. ‘You are trying to dig up dirt on him here.’

‘Yes.’ Merlin ansered, side eying the prince with a worried expression.

There was another silence before Arthur nodded once. ‘Alright. Where do we start?’

‘We?’ Merlin blinked confused. That was not the reaction he had expected.

‘Yes Merlin, we. Now come on, I expect we don’t have time all day. What are we looking for?’ Arthur said impatiently, starting to look through a neat pile of papers on the desk, clearly signaling he did not wish to discuss his decision further, and Merlin knew better than to press the matter.

So instead he went over to the closet and started looking for hidden spots. ‘Well, I am not completely sure. My theory is Aredian has possessions of magical nature. That might be useful to discredit him in front of Uther. But really, we are looking for the needle in the haystack. So whatever catches your eye.’

‘Got it.’ Arthur nodded, reading the papers as he was flicking through them. For a while they were looking in silence, concentrating on the task while listening closely for any clue that someone might be coming.

Merlin did not find anything particular in Aredian’s closet. It was filled with, as Merlin had expected, mostly black clothes of all sorts. Several pairs of black boots of different height and thickness were rowed up on the bottom, all cleaned meticulously. 

‘Isn’t he orderly.’ Merlin commented.

Arthur side eyed him. ‘Or he just has a very good servant who cleans properly. Maybe you should take notes.’

Merlin rolled his eyes, but didn’t comment. He turned the black stetson this way and that before throwing it back into the closet and starting to inspect the spacious bed.

‘He corresponds with many people. Partially very high up, in all the kingdoms.’ Arthur said, finally putting the papers back on the desk. ‘Seems like people also consult him vial letter, asking all kinds of questions. How to stop nightmares. How to drive out evil ghosts from family and friends. How to best expose someone with magic, what signs to look for. And it seems he also maintains a list of every sorcerer and witch to have ever been executed in Camelot. Huh. He is a busy man.’

‘I don’t doubt it.’ Merlin mused grimly as he started to feel the thick mattress up and down with quick hands.   
‘A ha!’ he cheered victoriously as his hands felt something hard inside the feather filled mattress.

‘What is it?” Arthur asked, immediately hurrying over.

With one precise movement Merlin ripped open the sheet and stuck his hand inside.  
His tongue was touching his upper lip as he tried to fish out whatever was hiding in there.  
Arthur kneeled down next to him to have a better view.

‘I have it!’ Merlin exclaimed as he pulled out a book, countless feathers escaping with it.

‘What book is it?’ Arthur asked.

Merlin squinted to read the title in the darkening room. ‘Magical herbs and their healing powers’.’ Merlin read. ‘I knew it! That's how he knew about the mandrake root!’  
Triumphantly, Merlin shoved the book into Arthurs hands before diving his hand back into the feathers, this time so deep that it almost swallowed his entire arm.  
After some rummaging, his arm resurfaced, clutching another, thicker book. ‘Magical Menagerie Vol 1’.’ Merlin read, flinging through the pages. ‘It seems to contain all sorts of magical know how.’

‘Why would Aredian need magical books?’ Arthur wondered, looking over Merlin’s shoulder to study the pages Merlin was looking at.

‘Gaius said to know the enemy is vital if you are to destroy them. He was convinced that was Aredian's approach. I guess he was right.’  
Merlin closed the book aprubtly and turned to face Arthur. ‘What do you think, can we use this against Aredian in front of your father?’

Arthur frowned deeply, looking at their findings. ‘I’m not sure. My father won’t be pleased to learn about this. But you just gave Aredian’s best excuse for possessing them. And there is a chance my father will let him get away with it.’

‘Yeah, I thought you would say that.’ Merlin nodded, his heart sinking a little. ‘You do realise the king would never let this slide with anyone else. If I would be found with those, I would be dead.’ he added frustrated. 

Arthur said nothing, and Merlin thought it best not to dwell on it. Exhaling deeply, he took the books and pushed them back into the mattress.

‘How are we going to close it?’ Arthur asked. ‘We cannot leave it open, Aredian will know immediately that someone was here.’

It was at this moment that Merlin realised how he had been planning to close it from the beginning. How this could become a problem, he only concluded now, and his eyes skimmed uncertainly to the prince.  
Catching his servants’ look, the penny dropped quickly and Arthur shifted away.

‘Oh. Of course.’ he said uncomfortably.

‘Do you mind?’ Merlin asked.

Arthur didn’t seem to know the answer to that.

‘Look, if you feel like you cannot witness me doing magic, then just turn around or something.’ Merlin grew impatient. And with that Merlin turned to the ripped open sheet. He did not want to see whatever flew over Arthur’s face.  
His fingers spread and his palm was facing the destroyed cloth before he breathed an incantation. The spread feathers on the ground seemed to come alive and floated up, circling in the air as if a soundless wind was playing with them before they squeezed themselves back into the sheet. The moment the last feather vanished inside, the ripped thread fixed itself again and closed the sheet as if nothing ever had ripped it.

Merlin stood up and turned, to see Arthur not turned away, but facing him with an unreadable expression on his face. He still found he couldn’t bare it, and so he walked past him to now inspect a cupboard with a silent ‘Well, let’s keep looking.’ on his lips which he wasn’t even sure Arthur could hear. But given the shifting and movement he heard a moment later, he figured the prince went back to work as well.

They rummaged through Aredian’s stuff in silence for a while, Merlin opening the cupboard drawers and inspecting what he found, while his mind was racing over another matter entirely.  
‘So.’ he heard himself say. ‘How long have you known?’

‘Known what?’ came back from the other end of the room. Arthur was checking for hiding spots behind pictures and deer heads that seemed to grow out of the walls.

‘About my magic.’ Merlin really found it ridiculous that he had to put it into words.

There was a pause and for a moment Merlin was convinced that the prince would ignore the question.  
‘I think for a year now.’ he finally stated.

‘A year?’ Merlin repeated in disbelief, turning around.

‘Yes. And I had suspected it already for a little while before that.’ Arthur seemed to be talking to the deer he was inspecting.

‘What gave me away?’ Merlin asked.

He heard Arthur snort. ‘I know you think of yourself as rather smart, but really Merlin, you can be quite the clumsy fool. It was when we defended Ealdor that I really thought I knew. And then, after the unicorn incident, I was certain.’

‘The unicorn that you shot?’

‘Yes.’

‘How did that give me away?’

‘For the simple fact that it showed up at all. I found it peculiar how we would see the unicorn twice when it was widely known that unicorns never show themselves to men. But it showed itself to you. Twice. So I got curious and read up on them in the library.’

'And what did you find out?’

‘That unicorns would only show themselves to children, virgins and other beings of magic. And while you are indeed very childish and I wouldn’t be certain about the virgin part…’

A compass flew across the room, and Arthur instinctively ducked, before turning around in silent outrage. ‘Merlin! That could have hit me!’ he exclaimed.

‘Yeah well, that had been the plan.’ Merlin responded cockily.

‘If we would not be in the middle of a criminal activity right now…’ the prince snorted with rage.

‘Just add an additional piece next time you decide to throw stuff at me again.’ Merlin suggested.

‘Oh believe me, I will.’ Arthur promised gloomily.

‘So you were saying?’ Merlin grinned now sheepishly, and Arthur contiued, not before giving his servant a good glare that meant he would not forget that.  
‘I was saying that when I read up the unicorn trivia, I knew why it showed itself to you and I had no doubt about your magic anymore. And after that, it was just obvious, really.’

‘Why did you never… do anything? Tell me you found me out? Got me burned? The stuff people around here usually do.’

‘Because I was waiting… hoping… for you to tell me.’ 

Merlin frowned at that. Arthur nodded, as if he had found the answer of a question he had had on Merlin’s face. ‘Yes. That obviously never happened.’

‘Of course it didn’t. You would have killed me.’ Merlin stated.

‘I would have?’

‘Well, yes! That’s the law, and you as crown prince are obliged to uphold it.’

‘Sometimes I wonder, Merlin, what you keep in that inflated head of yours, because it cannot be a brain. If that is true, then why did I not kill you when I found out? Why am I here now, helping you? Have these questions ever crossed your mind?’

‘Maybe, if you would just openly talk to me for a change, things would be a bit clearer for me and I wouldn’t have to play guessing games about what is going on inside your head! Ever since the dinner you have not properly talked to me, you have been avoiding me. As if I carried some infectious disease you are scared to catch. And then you took part in burning that boy!’

‘That boys name was Finnock. And I did not take part in it! I knew nothing about it! My father simply had told me to join him on the balcony as he was making an announcement.’

‘You stood there! Next to Uther, next to Aredian, showing everyone that you were in compliance with what was going on.’

‘What do you want me to do, Merlin? I am my father’s son! And yet, his hatred for magic is greater than his love for me! If I was to openly defy him, I would be on that pedestal burning next.’

‘He would not do that.’

‘He would. We both know it. So I do what I can for now. I try to help… where nobody sees. I don’t have the privilege of following my beliefs and feelings openly, like you.’ 

They had been half screaming at each other, but now the anger had subsided, just as a wave that had been building up would break in a single moment, to sink back into the sea again and vanish.

Both men looked at each other with a mixture of pleading and frustration.

Merlin had been playing with a black scarf in his hands that he had been encountered during his search through the drawers. He didn’t even remember taking it out, but now his attention came back to the room and he felt something hard wrapped up in that scarf. Which was probably why he had unconsciously taken it out.

His eyebrows sunk deep into his eyes as he was looking down and watching his hands unveil the hidden object.   
The scarf fell and Merlin was holding a square shaped flat object in his hands.

‘What is this?’ It had gotten so dark by then he couldn’t make out what it was.

‘Hang on.’ Arthur said, and went quickly over to the desk to light a candle, which he brought over to Merlin. Together they were looking at what revealed itself to be a little framed coal painting. It was a portrait of a little family. 

‘That’s Aredian!’ Arthur exclaimed in surprise. Merlin saw the likeness of the father on the picture, too, even though it must have been painted a long time ago. Aredian's hair was much fuller and longer, as was his face. The cheekbones were not standing out as sharply yet, and the cunning eyes were not encircled by deep wrinkles. It also seemed that the witch finder was missing the constant state of loathing in his eyes, his thin lips almost hinting at an earnest smile. ‘A very young Aredian.’ he agreed.

Then his eyes looked at the woman next to him. She was beautiful, bright eyes and long hair braided elegantly. On her lap sat a little girl of maybe five winters old. She was wearing a beautiful dress, and one of her chubby hands was clutching a straw doll. But Merlin was caught in the girls bright, but stern eyes. They were her fathers without a doubt, even though the painting did not reveal colours. And the long hair, also braided in a particular way seemed to stir Merlin’s memory. He felt like he had seen these braids somewhere, had looked into these eyes before. 

‘This is his family.’ Arthur stated after a moment.

‘Did you know he had one?’

‘No. Why had?' Arthur wondered.

'Because I think he lost them.' Merlin mused, thinking back to what the dragon had told him.

Arthur started flinging through things in the drawer where Merlin had discovered the picture to see if he would find anything more, and sure enough, after just a moment he held up an amulet. Merlin recognised it at once. It was the one Aredian had been wearing a few days ago when he had watched him from behind a curtain. It was the amulet he had been looking at in this weird way.

‘Doesn’t Aredian wear this a lot?’ Arthur wondered, and Merlin agreed before taking the amulet and opened it. A long lock fell out. Arthur quickly caught it before it could hit the floor.

‘Hair?’ he asked, confused.

Merlin looked at the blonde curl in the prince’s hand shimmering in the fire light. The shade was undoubtedly the same as Aredian's hair. Only Aredian was a balding man with very little hair left, and this curl was way too thick and long to be his.  
Merlin thought he had seen blonde hair like this blowing in the winter wind as a face looked hateful and stern upwards, surrounded by a sea of people.  
He gasped and snatched the hair out of Arthur’s hand.

‘What is it?’ the prince asked confused.

‘I think I know… no, this can’t be. But it looks just like…’

‘Would you stop talking in riddles, Merlin?’ Arthur said annoyed.

This was when three knocks on the door made both of them jump, and Merlin dropped the curl.  
‘Shit.’ he breathed and quickly picked the hair up again.

‘What was that?’ Arthur asked alarmed.

‘Morgana’s signal. Aredian is coming back, we have two minutes to leave.’ Merlin breathed while he was already panickly shoving everything back into the drawer that they had pulled out. 

‘Morgana?’ Arthur asked confused, but Merlin ignored him, closing all the drawers quickly. The hair was the only thing the had not returned and instead slid it into his pocket.

‘What are you doing? You can’t take that with you. Aredian will notice it’s gone.’ the prince hissed.

‘But I need it to figure out who it belongs to.’ Merlin objected.

‘If Aredian finds out someone was in his chambers, guess who will be the first on his list. Morgana and you. And rightfully so, apparently. Is Morgana in on all this?’ Arthur added. But Merlin ignored the question again. He bit his lip and looked around. He could try to magic a copy, but duplicating things from living organisms was a tricky thing and he needed to look up the proper spell for it first. 

He looked at Arthur, and his face lit up. ‘Your hair! We take your hair instead!’ he exclaimed excitedly. 

‘You can’t be serious.’ Arthur stated in utter disbelief. 

‘Your hair is blonde, too. Come on, this is a good idea.’ Merlin was already reaching for the prince’s hair, but Arthur ducked away.

‘My hair has not the same shade. And it is not curly or long enough, Aredian will see it is not his in an instant. And when he realises it is mine, then I think I don’t have to tell you what happens.’ Arthur pressed.

But Merlin had already found a little bread knife and was approaching Arthur again. ‘I can magic it curly, I can even lighten the shade and make it longer. But I need physical hair to go from, I don’t know the spell for duplicating it entirely. Come on, don’t be a girl, as you would say.’

Arthur did not appreciate his teases being used against him and he looked at Merlin as if he had lost his mind.

‘Arthur, please. We have no time. Trust me.’ Merlin pleaded. And this, oddly enough, seemed what turned Arthur. He still looked immensely disapproving, but he tilted his head so that Merlin could reach it easier.

‘Not too much. And from a part where it doesn’t show.’

‘I promise.’ Merlin cut off a good chunk (not without a dramatic ‘ARGH! Gentle, Merlin!’ from the prince) and held it out in front of him. He hastily whispered several incantations and the hair in his hand started transforming. As promised, it turned lighter and grew longer simultaneously, curling around itself like a dancing snake.

’See? Easy.’ Merlin grinned, opening the drawer again and putting the hair back into the amulet.

‘Well. It is not exactly the same, I hope Aredian doesn’t notice.’ Arthur said sceptically, playing with his hair as if to see if he could feel a difference.  
‘Now, let’s go.’ he added, suffocating the candle fire with his index finger and thumb. ‘Ouch.’ he hissed before hurrying after Merlin to the door.

‘You are supposed to first wet your fingers, turnip head.’

‘Shut up, Merlin.’

They opened the door slightly and peeked out. One head turning left, one turning right.

‘Air is clear.’ Arthur murmured, and they sneaked out, Merlin locking the door behind them by magic.

‘How much magic do you use on a daily basis?’ Arthur wondered.

‘A lot. Let’s go.’ They walked away from Aredian’s chambers, when they heard approaching footsteps echoing along the corridor. They stopped short.  
Arthur grabbed Merlin’s shirt and dragged him sideways into a broom cupboard. Merlin stumbled along and was tumbled against some brooms in the corner while Arthur was closing the door.

‘We have got to stop hiding in broom cupboards.’ Merlin complained, rubbing his elbow which had crashed into the brooms.

‘Will you shut up?’ Arthur hissed over his shoulder, opening the door a tiny bit and peeked out.

‘Is it him?’ Merlin came up behind the prince, straining his neck to see something.

‘Wait, I can’t see anyone yet… hang on… yes, it’s him. Quick, can you lock the door?’ he asked Merlin, after closing the door completely. 

Merlin stepped closer and concentrated on the door lock before whispering a spell.  
They heard a soft click.

‘Done.’ Merlin smiled.

Arthur smiled back, before frowning and looking up. ‘Wait - how do we have light in here?’

Merlin held up his hand in which a tiny fire burned happily.

‘Huh.’ was all Arthur found to say.

‘Let’s wait another few minutes to make sure.’ Merlin suggested and the prince nodded, his eyes never leaving the little fire. Merlin saw it’s dancing flames reflected in Arthur’s eyes, his face flickering bright and shadowy at the same time, depending how the flames decided to dance. The little light cast long shadows all around them and it appeared like they were the only source of light in a world of darkness.

‘Let me see.’ Merlin said after a moment.

‘What?'

‘Your fingers. You burned them.’

‘Oh.’ Arthur looked down at his hand. ‘It’s nothing. Just a little blister probably.’

But Merlin snorted impatiently, grabbed his hand and held it next to the fire to inspect it. Arthur let it happen. 

‘Two fire blisters are growing on your index finger and thumb. Let me take care of this.’ Merlin said, but he felt Arthur’s hand tense and withdraw.

‘What do you mean, take care of it?’ he asked, uncertain.

Merlin looked at Arthur. ‘I can heal them. With magic.’ he said, as if it were obvious.

‘You can?’ For some reason Arthur looked startled.

Merlin smiled encouragingly and made an inviting wave with his free hand. Arthur still looked doubtful, but he slowly gave his hand into Merlin's.

Merlin could have magiced the blisters away using his free hand. He might have even managed it without touch. So he wasn’t quite sure why we went on to do what he did. Which was kiss the blisters. His eyes lit up golden when his lips touched Arthur’s index finger, and the blister disappeared. Then Merlin took Arthur’s thumb gently between his fingers and kissed those blisters away too, his eyes shining golden once more.

Arthur did not seem to move during this. Or even breathe. His eyes were fixed on what his servant was doing.

‘There.’ Merlin said after inspecting the fingers again. ‘Gone.’

‘Thank you.’ Arthur only said in a voice that seemed to come from very far away. He took his hand back and looked at the now completely healthy looking fingers. ‘You know.’ he then started. ‘This is the first time I see magic do this.’

‘Do what?’ Merlin asked.

‘Heal. Instead of destroy.’

—-


	11. Chapter 11

‘How can I help you, my lady?’ Uther asked in a bored tone, his eyes not leaving the parchment he was holding.

‘I was sent to your highness with a message.’ the woman replied, bowing her head slightly.

‘A message from whom?’ Uther asked bored, his eyes still flickering over the parchment.

‘King Cenred.’

That made the King’s eyes stop moving and the parchment in his hands sank to his lap. ‘What’s the message?’ he asked.

‘He asks about the latest developments in Camelot. Great groups of people have entered his kingdom in the last days, fleeing from Camelot out of fear of persecution. They speak of history repeating itself, of a second magical cleansing taking place in your kingdom, my lord.’ the woman explained. Her head was still slightly bowed, but her eyes contained nothing of the submissive posture. 

Uther sat back on his throne, making a throw away hand gesture. ‘So what if that is the case? What business is it of Cenreds? It concerns him not what happens in my kingdom.’

‘King Cenred is worried about the floods of people seeking refuge. He has not the resources to accommodate such a huge number in such little time. A number which will likely only grow in the next months as the cleansing goes on. A number which will bring fear and unrest, blood and sickness.’

‘Tell your king he need not be concerned about the people entering his kingdom. If they flee from my law, that means they are guilty of breaking it. He can dispose of those outlaws in whatever way he prefers.’ Uther said unbothered.

The woman standing in front of him didn’t respond right away. She only considered her superior with those big dark eyes that seemed to hold something sinister. Finally her head snapped out of its slight bow and she shook her long blonde curls out of her face. ‘Magic isn’t outlawed in Essetir. The people crossing the border have not committed any crimes according to king Cenreds laws.’ she said slowly.

Uther snorted, his patience used up. ‘Then he should embrace them with open arms and have a welcoming feast. It is of no interest to me. Tell him he can do as he wishes. This audience is over.’ He nodded to the guards, who opened the doors to the throne room.

But the woman didn’t move. She just kept staring at the king, her eyes narrowing. ‘I think you misunderstand me, my lord. King Cenred did not send me to ask what he is to do with the refugees. He asks you to stop the persecution of your people. Essetir’s elders remember well how the last purge affected not only Camelot, but the neighbouring kingdoms as well. How its long term effects can still be seen today. King Cenred says he will not watch Essetir go fall victim to your blood thirst a second time, as his father had before him.’

‘Are you threatening me, woman?’ Uther asked, sitting upright now, his hand clenching and unclenching on his armrest.

‘I am only the messenger, sire. And my king does not threaten you. It is merely a warning.’ the woman did not flinch, did not avert her eyes as Uther Pendragon stood slowly up from his throne and approached her down the stairs, step by step as she had talked.

‘A warning you call it. Then let me return the favour: warn Cenred that if he does not stop meddling in affairs that are none of his concern, then peace between our kingdoms can no longer prevail.’ He had come into the woman’s personal space by now, considering her appearance for a moment, before he then asked: ‘What is your name?’

‘Morgause.’ she replied, not backing away.

‘I know your kind well, Morgause. I know Cenred is fond of people like you. Opportunists. Holding magic as well, I have no doubt. It will be his downfall, giving your kind power and opportunities. Tell him it is not too late to reconsider. If he wishes to cleanse his kingdom as well, Camelot will aid him.’

‘My king wishes none of this to happen.’ Morgause replied, her nostrils flaring.

‘No, indeed. Have you already bewitched him? Made him a puppet to do as your kind wishes?’ Uther had shot out a hand and grabbed her arm, just to gasp and let go of her immediately again. He looked at his hand and the glove that had been burned right off it. The leather was still crumbling away, revealing red irritated skin. The king’s eyes shot to Morgause in silent fury.

The guards stepped closer, drawing their weapons. ‘Do you wish me to hold her, sire?’ Aredian asked, stepping forward and blocking the way out. He had been a silent watcher in the corner.

Uther seemed to consider for a moment, his eyes never leaving Morgause’s. 

‘Father.’ Arthur silently warned. ‘Cenred would understand this as declaration of war.’ He had been standing behind his royal seat, listening to the audience while clutching the back of his chair in apprehension. Merlin, who was standing on the side with the other servants, was holding his breath.

‘Let her go.’ Uther finally said, turning his back to her.

‘My lord, this witch performed magic on your very person. She violated the law of Camelot-‘ Aredian started, but Uther held up a hand and silenced him.

‘We need her to send Cenred my message. I first want my own kingdom sorted out before I start quibbling with outsiders. Go now, Morgause. Before I change my mind.’ Uther said peremptorily, never turning to look at her again.

Morgause did not look at Uther before she turned to leave, but at his ward, as if she wanted to tell her something. Then her blonde curls bounced off her shoulders as she strode out of the throne room, her steps echoing off the high ceiling. For a moment it seemed as if Aredian wanted to hold her. But he kept himself in place, his hands clenched into fists.

‘The court is dismissed.’ Uther called as he threw himself back unto his throne, ripping off the remainder of his glove and handing it to a servant. The court shovelled and started talking as they made their way out of the room.

‘Phew, that was close.’ Merlin whispered as Arthur approached him. ‘For a moment I thought we would have another fire execution tonight.’

Arthur only snorted in agreement, looking around immediately if someone heard it. ‘He is especially grumpy today. He already had an audience this morning with messengers of Nemeth.’ he then said when he was sure no one was in hearing range.

‘The kingdom Nemeth? What did they want?’ Merlin asked.

‘They were pleading to give the Lightstone’s leave to go back to them. The Lightstone’s wife is a cousin to King Rodor, who reigns Nemeth. He had sent the family to Camelot’s court years ago in good faith to strengthen the relations between the kingdoms.’ Arthur explained.

‘And now Uther holds them prisoner and threatens to execute their daughter for magic. So king Rodor wants them back.’ Merlin finished, nodding in understanding. ‘Are there any news on what your father will do to Clarice?’ 

The prince’s face grew hard. ‘No decision has been made yet as far as I am aware. My father knows it will bring unrest with the relations to Nemeth.’

‘So you think there is a chance he will let the Lightstone’s go?’ Merlin asked hopeful.

Arthur shook his head slightly. ‘No. It is not a question of if he will execute them. It is a question of when. And it will be very soon now, before King Rodor himself can ride in with an army at his back, demanding the release of his relatives.’

Merlin was taken aback at the finality of Arthur’s words. ‘But… we need to do something about it. He cannot do that. Clarice is only a little girl.’

‘And what do you propose I should do, Merlin?’ Arhur asked sharply, stepping very close.

‘Talk to him! You are his son! Suck some of the poison out that Aredian feeds him on a daily basis.’

‘My role is to strengthen the realm, not disrupt it even more.’

‘And allowing a child to be burned will accomplish that?’ Merlin asked heated, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Arthur exhaled in frustration, looking around as if he was searching for something. ‘I am my fathers son. I have to stand with him. And just because I… helped you the other day with- … that doesn’t mean I will suddenly oppose him.’

‘Arthur. I know the kind of man you are. You cannot-‘

‘Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do. I am the prince.’ Arthur interrupted his servant loudly, taking Merlin’s wrist to pull away his hand that had come up, no doubt to touch Arthur’s shoulder.

Both men looked at each other. Arthur stern. Merlin furious. Then their eyes fell on Arthur’s hand still wrapped around Merlin’s wrist. Arthur let go, looking displeased with himself.

‘Just…’ Arthur started, rearranging his his jacket and turning away. ‘… find something on Aredian…’ 

Merlin clenched his chaw as he watched the prince stalk away, joining a waiting group on the other side of the room and leaving with them.

‘You. Boy.’

Merlin whirled around, to see Uther pointing a finger at him. ‘Go and get me Gaius. I need some healing ointment for my hand.’

—-

The streets of the capital had never been so empty and yet screaming so loudly of fear at the same time. Merlin was the first to leave footprints in the fresh fallen snow, hearing the crunching it made whenever his thin boots sank into it.   
The only people he saw were in a hurry, walking fast and looking around uneasy, as if they feared an attack at any moment. No one was just strolling through the market, chatting with their neighbour or trying to get a better price for a pig, as they used toy do. 

It was as if Camelot’s life had been extinguished. The few market stands that were still open had no customers, and no one was shouting the deals of the day to passing people. Merlin arrived at the market stand which he had bought herbs from just a week prior. But again, it held no goods, and no blonde woman with uncommon braids was standing behind it. A blue cloth that had been covering the stand to protect it from snow was hanging loosely down its side, swinging slightly in the snowy wind. 

Merlin sighed frustrated. Of course he knew the chances of finding that woman again were slim. After Uther had declared open war to magic once more over the burning body of a boy, which, Merlin suspected, had been her brother, there was no reason why she should have stuck around. The man behind the next market stand was eying him darkly and Merlin quickly kept walking. He had asked this man already thrice in the last days if he knew the whereabouts of his market neighbour, or just her name. Any information, really. But all he got was a grumpy ‘sod off, or I’ll kick your skinny ass back over those castle walls myself’. 

Merlin flipped up the collar of his winter jacket, contemplating what to do next, when the sound of many heavy boots crunching through the snow made him turn around. As he had feared, the boots belonged to the royal guards who were patrolling the streets. Their heavy winter cloaks were dragged through the high snow behind them, white breath clouds were escaping the metal helmets as if the helmets themselves were alive. Each of the guards weas carrying a mandrake root, soaked in a black slimy ointment that was dripping thickly down, leaving black holes on the white ground. 

The warlock stepped aside and watched them pass with a dark expression on his face. Having so many mandrake roots up close did nothing more than tickle his ears, and he reached a knuckle up to scratch one of them. He silently thanked Gaius and his potion brewing skills, which were to thank that Morgana and himself were able to stay for the most part unaffected by this magic revealing root. He knew Aredian had also tried it on Clarice, but fortunately Gaius had been able to provide the girl with the potion before and Clarice’s only reaction had been to look at the root with huge fearful eyes, eventually starting to cry when Aredian had started to shout at her. Which then in turn the witch finder used as proof that the root had affected her after all.  
Merlin knew it made no difference, not after what Arthur had said to him this morning.

The few people who had been out, fled before the royal troops, quickly locking themselves inside their homes and drawing the window curtains shut. Merlin knew this made no difference either. Nothing made a difference anymore.

He watched one of the guardsmen turn towards a door and kick it in. He could hear screaming and shouting from inside as they entered the house, ducking their heads so their helmets wouldn’t bump against the low door frame.

‘Merlin. Psst.’ 

He whirled around to see where the voice had come from. ‘Over here.’

His eyes saw a hooded figure peaking out from a narrow alleyway, waving him over. Merlin saw the trace of red betraying the black hood and he quickly followed the call.

He had to press his back against the cold stone wall to be able to stand next to the man who sank with him back further into the alleyway, out of sight of the street. Merlin now saw another, smaller hooded figure waiting for them further down and when they were close enough, she drew the hood to reveal the kind, olive skinned face Merlin knew so well. ‘Gwen.’ he smiled. Gwen smiled back and nodded.  
The hood of the first person fell as well and revealed Lancelot. 

‘Any news?’ Merlin asked them in apprehension. 

Gwen was the first to speak. ‘I have no news for you, Merlin. I asked all the servants if anyone knows anything about the herb woman. Many have bought goods at the stand, many remember her. But no one seems to know anything about her.’

Merlin nodded gravely, having already expected an answer like that. 

‘Why is this woman important, Merlin?’ Gwen asked.

‘She just… she might have some valuable information about Aredian, that’s all. I would have liked to talk to her.’ Merlin said evasively.

Gwen narrowed her eyes a little, but she nodded apologetically and smiled. ‘I will keep asking around.’

Merlin thanked her before looking hopefully to Lancelot. 

‘I have news, but you won’t like them.’ the trainee knight began, glancing at Gwen. ‘Uther has told the head of the knights today to start collecting wood and make a stake ready within two days.’

‘Are you sure it is for Clarice?’ Merlin asked.

Lancelot looked miserable. ‘Yes. After king Rodor’s threat, he is not wasting time anymore.’

‘We need to get her out, Merlin. And the parents, too.’ Gwen pleaded, pressing his arm gently.

‘I know. We… I will think of something.’ Merlin promised, putting his hand on hers with a reassuring smile.

Gwen answered it, before drawing her hood back over her curls. ‘I need to go. Lady Morgana expects me to make her horse ready.’

‘She wants to go riding out now? In these times?’ Merlin asked perplexed.

Gwen only shrugged. ‘You know how she is. See you soon.’ she added to Lancelot, placing a kiss on his cheek before walking towards the opposite exit of the alleyway.

Lancelot and Merlin looked at one another. ‘You will only get them out with your magic.’ Lancelot started.

‘I know.’

‘It is too dangerous, Merlin. Aredian and his rats are everywhere.’

‘I have to try it, Lancelot. You know I have to. I cannot stand by again and watch someone burn.’

Lancelot only looked at his friend with a pained expression before he said. ‘Then I will help you. We will all help you. Let’s call for another meeting and-‘

‘No! No meeting. The others don’t need to know about this.’

Their little group had once more met in Gaius’ study to discuss the latest developments and, most importantly, how Merlin’s little excursion in Aredian’s chambers had gone. He had shared with them his suspicion of a family that Aredian once seemed to have, which was met by astonished gasps and musings what had happened to them. What Merlin did not tell them, however, was what he found in Aredian’s amulet and his suspicion of whom it might belong to. 

‘Merlin. Our group has been formed because we want to help, we want to stop this madness from happening.’ Lancelot said meaningfully.

‘Yes, yes. I know. I’m sorry. I just think the more people know about this, the more are in peril.’ Merlin looked down, knowing it was not quite fair to withhold information regardless.

‘Is that why you didn’t tell us who you searched Aredian’s chambers with?’

Merlin’s head shot up and looked at his friend in shock. ‘W-What are you..?’

‘I saw you. I had patrol that night. I saw you coming out of a broom cupboard. With Arthur.’

_Oh, great._

Merlin clicked his tongue and closed his eyes for a second. 

‘So I am guessing you did this together?’ Lancelot added when Merlin didn’t speak.

‘Yes. Well. It wasn’t planned. Arthur followed me and… it just sort of… happened. I don’t think he really wanted to… it’s… complicated.’ Merlin stammered, being caught completely off guard.

‘I bet it is.’ Lancelot almost grinned now. ‘Why were you in a broom cupboard?’ 

‘Ok, now that just sounds so wrong… don’t… say it like that. We were merely hiding from Aredian… and… then went our separate ways. Arthur promised not to tell anyone about it, so we should be save.’

‘Does he know about all of us?’ Lancelot asked.

‘No! No. Just me. He might suspect Morgana as well. But that’s it.’

Merlin suddenly found it hard to speak through the knot that had formed in his throat. He swallowed pointedly, as if hoping the knot would just drop into his stomach and release his voice again.

Pictures flashed in front of his inner eye. Pictures he very decisively had not looked at since it happened. He saw Arthur’s blue eyes shining in the candle light, watching him as he kissed the blisters on his fingers away. He remembered the feeling of soft skin, the smell of the prince encircling him as they stood so close together in this little forgotten room, in which they seemed to be the only two people who existed. He remembered letting go of Arthur’s fingers then, but the prince holding on to Merlin’s, his eyes sinking deep into the others. It was a moment in which everything was possible. No pretences, no fences. They saw each other. And so it had seemed like the most natural thing to lean in while their fingers kept playing and entangling in one another.

‘Merlin? Are you alright?’ Lancelot’s voice pulled him out of the memories that had overwhelmed him.

He drew in his breath and shook his head slightly. ‘Yes! Yes, I am. Sorry, I… ah… got lost in thought for a minute there.’ he smiled, scratching his neck.

But Lancelot did not smile back. He looked at Merlin long and hard before seemingly making a decision. ‘Do you want to bring him along to our meetings?’

‘What? No!’ Merlin exclaimed immediately. ‘He is Uther’s son. And he made it very clear to me this morning that he won’t do anything to openly oppose his father. So. It would be very unwise. We would run the risk of exposing all of us.’

‘You don’t really believe Arthur would do that, would you.’ Lancelot said. It wasn’t a question.

Merlin only shrugged. ‘Sometimes I think I know who he is. Other times…’ he looked at the floor again.

Lancelot came closer and put a hand on Merlin’s neck, making him look back up into Lancelot’s eyes again. ‘Arthur is in an extraordinarily difficult position. I can promise you that what his father is doing to Camelot’s citizens right now upsets him deeply. He has not been himself these last weeks. It is clear for everyone to see. Never have I seen him so unconzentrated in training, either.’

Merlin only nodded, taking all of his strength to not start tearing up.

Lancelot was not fooled however, and he let Merlin go with a sad smile. ‘Alright. Let’s not invite him to the meetings. I fear you are right it might not be the best idea. Not because I would be scared he would betray us. But because it would conflict him only further.’

‘Alright.’ was all that Merlin could wring out of his throat as he desperately swallowed welling up tears.

A sudden cry, followed by a waterfall of swearing and moaning made both men look up. They exchanged a glance before making their way back to the entrance of the alleyway and peaked out. They saw the guards walking back towards the castle, the leading men holding a struggling woman in their midst. She was only wearing a simple woollen dress and no shoes, but that didn’t stop her to kick her captors, spit at them and name them every name under the sun as they dragged her off towards the castle.

‘Another one.’ Lancelot stated, his eyes following the situation.

‘How many do you have in the dungeons by now?’ Merlin asked.

‘Too many.’

‘Do they all have magic?’

‘No. I doubt any of them have it.’

—-


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya you all!  
> Yes, I am still alive and no, I have not abandoned this story. Just sometimes life gets busy, and I could not write as much as I would have liked. However I managed to finish several chapters, and the next two chapters will be up within the next days.  
> I hope you are still with me and this story, and as always I am looking forward to your feedback :)!
> 
> Also, belated happy 2021 you all! Hopefully happier than the last one anyways. The bars are not very high...
> 
> And now, enjoy :)!

Merlin was hurrying along the castle corridors. A tray with soap, some towels and bath oils balancing on his arms. He was late, what else was new? As he turned the corner to Arthurs’ chambers, he almost bumped into Her Leon who was hurrying in the other direction. 

‘Oh, sorry Merlin. I didn't see you.' the knight smiled.

'Don't worry about it. I should stop rushing around corners like that.' Merlin smiled back.

'Late for Arthur again?'

'Yep.' Merlin grimaced playfully and Leon rounded the corner with a chuckle, clapping on his shoulder as he went.

Merlin carefully rearranged the tumbled over bathing utensils on his tray, making sure they concealed the royal Pendragon seal, before darting through Arthur’s doors. The smell of overly scented water stung in his nose.

He looked around in confusion to find the prince already happily sitting in his bath tub, rubbing his arms with a cloth.

‘And late, again. The one thing I can count on when it comes to you.’ Arthur mentioned flatly without looking up. 'That, and the not knocking.' he added after a moment of consideration.

Merlin didn’t move. ‘You are in the bath tub.’ he stated.

‘Your observation skill are unparalleled.’ 

‘Who did that?’ 

‘Who did what?’

‘Put you in there.’

Arthur rolled his eyes. ‘I am very capable of climbing into a bath tub myself, believe it or not.’

‘No, I mean… the preparation. Who prepared it?’

‘I did.’

‘No you didn’t.’ Merlin chuckled.

Arthur finally looked at him with a raised eyebrow. ‘Do you see anyone else here?’ he asked, spreading his arms and looking theatrically around. 

The warlock narrowed his eyes, scanning his prince suspiciously while setting his tray on the table. ‘You mean to tell me…’ he then started slowly. ‘You carried the bath tub in here.’

‘Yap.’ Arthur nodded.

‘… then went to the kitchens to heat up water, which you then carried up here in buckets repeatedly until the bath was full….’

Arthur shrugged. ‘Well… I might have ordered some of the kitchen maids to help me with that task.’

Merlin still looked dumbfounded. ‘And then you found the bath oils by yourself and added them.’

‘It is not an overly complicated task, Merlin.’ Arthur groaned.

‘Not for normal people it itsn’t. But you can’t even find your own brush in the morning by yourself.’ his servant stated, crossing his arms.

‘That is because I’m still tired in the mornings and - anyways, what does it matter? I didn’t want to wait around for you, so I started the bath myself, what is the big deal?’ Arthur asked annoyed, letting his leg surface from the steaming water and started rubbing it with his cloth.

Merlin wanted to say that the Arthur he knew would rather go stinking for a whole month before preparing his own bathwater, but he decided to keep his mouth shut. Instead he came closer, smelling the overwhelming scent of lavender.

‘Got a bit overexcited there with the bath oil.’

Arthur splashed his arms exasperated into the water and gave him a threatening look.

Merlin threw up his hands. ‘Alright, alright. Shutting up.’

‘I doubt that very much.’ the prince said between clenched teeth, starting his cleaning procedure again.

Stepping back and getting his own cloth, Merlin started frowning as he took in the scene in front of him once more. It was normally his job to make sure to scrub Arthur clean as a baby on its name day, and the prince had never bothered to even lift a finger to help the process along. And now here he was, scrubbing himself as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Something was off. 

‘You uhh…’ Merlin started, playing with the cloth in his hands. ‘You want me to help…?’

‘Oh, no, it’s fine, Merlin. I’m almost done anyways. But you can lay out fresh clothes.’ 

_Okay._ The servant shrugged and tossed the towel back on the tray. As he passed it, he, as unconspicous as possible, snatched the royal seal in his hand and strolled over to Arthur’s desk, where he carefully placed the seal underneath one of several parchment lying around. A quick look over the shoulder assured him that Arthur didn’t take notice. 

That had been easier than anticipated. Morgana had needed the seal to put it under a letter addressed to King Rodor, letting him in on the plan to rescue the Lightstone’s and asking him for his help. The raven that delivered the letter was magicked white by Merlin so it would be almost impossible to spot in the white snow skies. And so Merlin prayed it would fly straight to Nemeth without trouble (meaning some curious eyes shooting the bird from the sky and reading the letter).

‘What would you like to wear?’ he called over to Arthur, opening the closet and rummaging through the clothes.

‘I am blessed with a bunch of council meetings this afternoon.’ Arthur said sarcastically. ‘So, something simple and comfortable.’

Merlin nodded and started fishing out clothes left and right, until he found something he thought fulfilled the prince’s requests.

‘Is that good?’ he asked, appearing in front of Arthur and holding up a simple dark red tunic. 

Arthur startled and quickly pulled his legs in. ‘By god, Merlin.’ he gasped.

The servant let the tunic sink. ‘What?’ he asked irritated.

‘It’s… nothing. The… yes, the tunic will do.’ the prince gestured for Merlin to go away again.

Merlin left, frowning deeply and asking himself once again what he had missed.

As his presence near the bath tub seemed to be unwelcome, he finished choosing Arthur’s clothes and hung them over the room divider behind which the prince always got dressed.

While he was doing this, his ears picked up on the stretching silence between them. Normally, they could never be in the same room for too long before some kind of banter broke loose. Merlin thought of what he could possibly talk about, which in itself was an oddity as he never had to consciously think about that with Arthur before. Everything had always come naturally.

Only two topics urged themselves to the surface. One was bringing up the Lightstone’s once more and what Arthur would say to the now finalised execution. However, after their little argument the morning before in the throne room, he rather not brush the topic. Especially not before he had King Rodor’s reply. 

The other topic… well. He had done his utmost to be his usual self and not show any signs of inner turmoil. Neither to anyone around him nor to himself. Because in the end nothing had happened. In the end, Arthur had stopped inches from his face. Merlin could feel the hot breath on his face, could see Arthur’s adams apple bop up and down in a hard swallow. And then his inner voice of reason was suddenly back on full volume, screaming at him what in the five kingdoms he thought he was doing. Maybe Arthur had heard it too, and therefore had felt the need to drop Merlin's hand and get out of that broom cupboard immediately, not even caring to look if it was save. And Merlin had stayed behind for a few heartbeats longer, a fist clenched around Freya’s cloth in his pocket.

Merlin was shook awake from his musings when he heard the water splash and turned to see Arthur getting out of the bath tub.

‘Hang on, I-‘ he started, but stopped himself as Arthur had already quickly snatched up a towel and was drying himself up. Merlin watched him with slowly narrowing eyes. When the prince fastened the towel around his waist and came towards the room divider, he looked up at Merlin, expecting him to make way. Merlin was hit by a hot dampness, emitted from Arthur's heated up body.

‘Do you need help with the tunic?’ Merlin asked, knowing how Arthur hated to fasten the wrist and chest bonds. However, Arthur shook his head.

‘Don’t worry about it, Merlin.’ He gave his servant a quick shoulder clap and pushed past him, vanishing behind the divider. 

‘Alright…’ Merlin sighed. Was this Arthur being cross with him for pulling him into the plot against Aredian? Or was this about…?

‘Ouch!’ he heard Arthur gasp and without thinking he stuck his head behind the divider.

‘Everything alright, Arthur?’

The prince was kneeling down, holding his toe. Merlin could see blood staining his fingers.

‘You ripped your toe nail.’ the servant stated. ‘Come, I can fix this.’ he offered, kneeling down next to Arthur.

‘No!’ Arthur almost yelled, holding out his bloody hand to keep Merlin away. ‘No. It’s not worth it. It is only a small scratch.’ he quickly added, with a shaky laugh.

Merlin clicked his tongue. ‘Of course it is only small, but still annoying. A ripped nail bleeds like crazy and takes a while to heal. Come on, let me just-‘

‘I said, no, Merlin.’ Arthur repeated sternly. His blue eyes hit Merlin's like steel.

Now he felt himself getting annoyed. ‘What’s the matter? The other day I healed your fingers just fine, didn’t I?’ As soon as the words were out, he wished he hadn’t spoken them.

Arthur’s cheeks grew just the slightest shade of pink and he cleared his throat. ‘Yes.’ he admitted, getting back up again. Merlin followed, stepping immediately several metres away. ‘But… your… magic. It does… funny things. To me. Makes me feel… weird.’

Merlin raised one eyebrow and frowned at the same time. ‘Huh?’ he just said.

‘Never mind. I guess I just don’t like magic to be performed on me. That’s all.’ Arthur made a throw away movement, clearly wanting to end this topic as fast as possible. ‘Now, if you could bring me a little bandage.’

And with that he turned and kept dressing himself.

Merlin got a bandage out of a drawer when a knocking sound made him look up. There at the window, not immediately visible, sat the white raven, his long peak knocking against the glass. 

_Oh no._ Merlin’s head shot to Arthur, who was still dressing himself.

Merlin hurried over to the window to open it. The hinges were frozen and it took a melting spell for the window to finally open with a loud creak.  
The raven flapped its wings to keep his balance as he put forward one of his claws. Merlin had hexed the animal to only bring the response letter to him. That this would happen in the very chambers of Arthur Pendragon was most unfortunate timing. 

Merlin quickly unbound the little parchment and stuffed it into his pockets.

‘Merlin!’ Arthur called from behind the divider. ‘What on earth are you doing?’

‘Uh…’ Merlin stammered, hurriedly pushing the window shut again. ‘I just thought I let in a bit of fresh air.’

‘A bit of winter air while your prince is over here half naked, still wet from bathing. My skin freezes over as I speak!’ came the upset response.

‘Oh, yes. Sorry, sire. I guess I didn’t think.’ Merlin smiled dishonestly.

‘When do you actually think, Merlin?’ 

Another knock at the window. Merlin turned towards the raven, desperately mouthing _‘What?’_.  
The raven was tilting its head, letting out a loud crow. 

‘What was that?’ Arthur asked.

‘Uh… what?’ Merlin quickly silently magiced some corn treats on the window sill. The raven gulped them up delighted before finally spreading its wings and flying away. _Greedy bastard._

Merlin exhaled in relief.

‘Strange… now it’s gone.’ Arthur said, appearing behind the divider fully dressed, looking around the room. ‘Sounded like a bird was in here.’

Merlin shrugged innocently. ‘I didn’t hear anything.’

Arthur narrowed his eyes at him. ‘Contrary to popular belief, or… your belief more like, I do know when you are up to something, you know.’ 

‘I’m not up to anything.’ Merlin blinked several times.

Arthur considered him for a moment. ‘Merlin, promise me you are not going to do anything stupid.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘We both know you must know by now.’

‘Know what?’

‘The Lightstone’s execution.’

Merlin didn’t respond. 

‘Promise me, Merlin.’ Arthur demanded.

‘Will you try to stop it?’ Merlin asked.

‘I… I will try what I can.’ Arthur sounded frustrated. ‘But I need to know you are out of the way.’

Merlin bit his lip. He didn’t want to lie. But he could also not tell him the truth. His fingers were playing with the little parchment in his pocket. 

‘I promise I won’t do anything stupid.’ he finally said.

Arthur seemed happy with that, and he nodded. ‘Thank you.’ He turned to his desk and rolled one of the many parchments together. ‘Back to work then. Oh, look at that.’ he said, mildly surprised. ‘I was looking for this all morning.’ He showed Merlin the royal seal before dropping it on the desk again. ‘So many trees I can’t see the forest. Clean up my desk a bit, will you.’

\---


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here I am with another chapter. The rescue mission to save Clarice and her parents is in full swing now. We will see how it goes for Merlin and Morgana...
> 
> I have one more chapter complete which I will try to post within the next two days.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy!

If Uther Pendragon knew what was happening within his castle walls late at night the next day, he would suffer from a stroke. Because how was it possible that three people were practicing magic at the same time under his very roof, only a corridor down from his own chambers in fact, as if this was the most normal thing in the world?

Most of the candles of the castle had already been extinguished as everyone was getting ready for bed. Except in the royal physician’s office. There, several candles were still shining, while white smoke was swirling lazily out of the slightly opened window of the study, as if old Gaius was brewing a late night dinner soup. Gaius was indeed brewing something in a big black cauldron over the fireplace. But it was not soup. It was a magical potion.  
He swirled a long soup spoon inside the bubbling scarlet liquid, occasionally taking the spoon up and letting its scooped up potion fall back into the cauldron from a height to check its consistency. 

Meanwhile, Morgana was sitting at the table nearby, concentrating on a big pile of sugar in front of her. Her lips would murmur unintelligible spells and her eyes shine like starlight while the pile of sugar kept assembling and disassembling in front of her. Sometimes the kings ward would smile triumphantly, and sometimes she would tear at her hair in frustration. 

Opposite her, in front of a tall mirror stood Merlin, also practicing spells, but of quite a different nature. He kept changing shape and size before popping back to his normal form and moaning about the difficulty of the magic he was trying to perform.

‘Merlin, if it is too hard, maybe you should go for another animal.’ Morgana called over, but was met by ignorance. Merlin flicked through the pages of an open book sitting on a table next to him, his index finger tracing the writing inside.

‘She is right, Merlin. It should be an animal you can keep the shape of more easily. If you turn back to yourself in the middle of your mission, you will have a problem.’ Gaius agreed with Morgana while sniffing his potion.

‘Yes, I know… I just… the tricky part is the sizing down… I can’t keep my volume in such a small body…’ Merlin mumbled absentmindedly while positioning himself again in front of the mirror. He whispered an incantation and touched his chest with both his hands. POOF, a sharp peak was growing out of Merlin’s face and his entire body started being covered in ever growing black feathers. His feet had transformed into big yellow claws. But his size stayed the same.  
The warlock peeked down at himself before swearing loudly, flipping his wings and popping back to his human shape. ‘How can this be so hard?’ he exclaimed exasperated.

‘Forget the animal spell, try something simpler, like… can you make yourself invisible?’ Morgana suggested.

Merlin gave her a reproachful look. ‘I cannot fit myself into a smaller body. How then am I supposed to fit myself into… being nothing?’

Morgana rolled her eyes, and instead turned her head towards Gaius. ‘How is the potion getting along?’

Gaius had just filled a little sample of the potion into a test tube and compared it to something in a book. ‘… it should be ready in just a moment. The scarlet shade is perfect, the consistency as described in my book.’

Another POOF could be heard and Merlin was growing cat ears this time, grey fur was growing out of his skin and his nose shrank to a tiny pink circle. His hands started to turn into paws and his body bend down to stand on them, when another POOF could be heard and Merlin was back, falling backwards to the floor and hitting his head on a shelf in the process.  
‘Ouch.’ he gasped, holding the injury with one hand.

‘Merlin, we need to get going very soon if we are to do this tonight.’ Morgana reminded him.

‘Yeah, yeah, I know.’ he groaned impatiently as he got up again and walked towards his chambers. ‘Give me one moment.’

As the door shut behind him, he started circling his room and wrecked his brain for a solution. He needed to turn himself into something unrecognisable which was fast and efficient. He thought a crow would be the perfect solution for what they were about to attempt. Flying, he could spy miles ahead and make sure their escape route was clear. But whatever bird he had tried to turn into since yesterday, none had worked. Any other animal he had then attempted remained unsuccessful as well.

He had known that altering your very shape for a longer period of time was higher magic that needed years of study and practice. He had just hoped that, given his magic did not follow any book rules anyways, he could just pull it off as he had many other things in the past.  
But as it became clear now, altering ones shape was difficult and Merlin would not get the hang of it tonight. He thought about what Morgana had said about becoming invisible, but couldn’t see how he would be able to succeed in this also rather advanced magic within the next minutes. 

He could try to turn into another human being. But for that he needed a piece of the human he wanted to turn into and if he then would be seen as said human, then he would put that actual person in danger of persecution. Given what they were about to do was highly criminal.  
He stopped short and wrinkled his forehead. What if it would be easier to turn into an animal if he also had a piece of the animal he wanted to turn into? Could this aid him to take on the shape? His book didn’t mention this, but Merlin knew that knowledge held in books about magic were always incomplete at best.

He rushed to his window and pulled it open, his eyes scanning the sill for a crows feather. Or a dove feather. Anything. But of course there was nothing. He whirled around, searching the floor before kneeling down and searching for any sign of rats or mice, cursing himself for always sealing mice holes in the walls with his magic.

‘Merlin! We need to go!’ he heard Morgana call, and he moaned in defeat, letting his head fall on his arms.  
How was it possible there was nothing animal related in his chambers? He suddenly wished he had a pet of some sort. But the only animals he ever was really close to were the horses of the royal stable and... - Merlin’s head shot up. Of course. But could this work?

He sat up and frantically rummaged through his trouser pockets. He quickly pulled out Freya’s cloth and looked at it very closely. He couldn’t see anything, the cloth was too dark, as was the room. Merlin’s eyes lit up like starlight as he was heightening his eyesight and turning the cloth this way and that in front of his eyes. And there he found them. Tiny, by now woven into the fabric and not visible to the normal eye, sat some black fur hair. Merlin whispered a spell and the hair tucked itself loose and slowly floated towards him. He held out his hand and let the fur parts land on his palm.

His heart was beating all the way up to his chin as he closed his palm and held the fist to his chest. He closed his eyes. He saw Freya, her face moving and distorting, as if he was seeing a reflection of her in water. She was smiling and nodding at him. This time he didn’t whisper the incantation, he said it loud and clear into the stillness of his room. He knew he had succeeded before the transformation was over.  
He felt his back arch, his mouth being pulled backwards, his spine growing a long tail. His hands touched the ground and a long tongue was licking his long sharp teeth.

‘Merlin?’ he heard Gaius’ worried voice on the other side of the door. ‘Merlin, is everything alright?’

The door opened and warm light hit black shiny fur. Merlin squinted his eyes, being overwhelmed by the bright particles entering his cat eyes.

‘Oh, my.’ he heard Gaius say, who stopped short. 

Then he heard Morgana gasp. ‘Merlin! What have you done?’

Merlin wanted to reply, but when he opened his mouth, only a sharp dark growl escaped his throat.  
He opened his mouth several times and closed it again, trying to get accustomed to his long fangs that occupied his mouth now. The scent of old clothes and wood and dust crept into his nose and he was aware of a mouse skitting along the castle walls outside. A horse was neighing in the yard. Some guards were talking, a door was closing somewhere, Gaius' potion was bubbling, three hearts were beating.  
Merlin stumbled backwards, his back hitting his bed. He sprang around and hissed at it, but the bed remained unimpressed.

‘A panther? I thought we were going for inconspicuous.’ Gaius remarked, but sounding weirdly impressed. 

Morgana however looked at the creature before her as if she had just seen a ghost and her chest rose and fell rapidly.  
Merlin tried to shut out all the sensations that kept flooding his senses and tried to concentrate.  
_Can you hear me?_ he asked in his mind, trying to create a mental link to his friends.

‘Yes.’ Gaius said, and Morgana only nodded.

 _I know this is not perfect, but it is the only thing I could come up with right now. It will do for tonight. Let's go, it is getting late._ Merlin started walking through the door rather clumsy, he wasn’t used to coordinate four legs and more often than not he stumbled and swung to this side and that. When his eyes fell on himself in the mirror, he stopped and marvelled at the animal he had just turned into. His heart clenched painfully as he remembered the last time he had looked into big yellow cat eyes. He looked just like Freya had in her cursed form. Just the wings were missing.

‘Merlin, is it wise to go about the castle in this form? A panther is not a common animal in Camelot. You will be drawing attention.’ Gaius tried again as he followed Merlin along.

Merlin looked up at the physician. _Don’t worry, Gaius. The main thing is that I am not myself. No one will recognise me._  
He turned to go towards the exit, when he realised Morgana had placed herself in front of the door, blocking it.

‘You cannot go like this.’ she stated in a high pitched voice. ‘I won’t let you.’

_It is alright, Morgana. I might be bigger than planned, but I am black and will be silent as a cat. It will work._

‘No. No, Merlin, you don’t understand. I dreamed of this. I dreamed of you being in this form and… and getting badly hurt.’

‘A vision?’ Gaius asked.

Morgana nodded vehemently, her long hair bouncing.

 _Where did it take place?_ Merlin asked.

‘In the forest. Everything was covered in snow, just like now. And it was in the night.’

Merlin glanced outside. He knew Morgana’s dreams sometimes came true. But he didn't want to entertain this idea right now, they had no time.

_We don’t plan to go through the woods tonight, do we? I promise you I will stay away from the forest. This way your dream cannot come true._

Morgana didn’t look convinced, and she did not move away.

 _Morgana. Think of Clarice._ Merlin said determined in his mind. _Tonight is the last chance we have of doing this. Do you want to save the Lightstone's or not?_

Morgana’s eyes flickered to Gaius before she resigned and stepped aside. ‘Promise me you stay out of the forest.’ she demanded.

_I promise._

She nodded, and took the wine jar that Gaius had offered her. The red liquid inside was forming bubbles at the surface and a steam was rising from it.

‘Be careful. Both of you.’ Gaius said meaningfully, eying especially Merlin who hissed.

\---

Morgana and Merlin in form of a panther walked along the deserted corridors, looking around every corner to make sure they wouldn’t meet someone unexpected. But it was as they had hoped. At this hour no one was about the castle anymore and most of the knights and nobles were in a council meeting in the great hall to discuss politics and, no doubt, the execution of the Lightstone’s the very next morning. The only people about would be the guards. And for them they were prepared.

At another corner after they had hurried down some steps, they halted and Morgana looked down at her friend. ‘This is where we part ways. I will wait for you outside. Don’t be late.' Merlin nodded and Morgana drew in a sharp breath. ‘And don’t forget what you promised me.’ And with that Morgana took off, with the wine jar in her hands, her long emerald green cloak span behind her like a thin curtain enfolding against strong wind. 

Merlin looked after her for a moment, hoping that what she was about to do would work out, before turning and creeping along another corridor. His hearing was so sharp that he would have heard anyone long moments before they would come into view, which calmed him a bit. He still found it difficult however to filter his sensations appropriately and sometimes had to stop and concentrate on which noises were important and which ones he wanted to block out. Once he heard breathing and shoes clomping closer, but he managed to dive underneath a closet before the person came into view. He could smell sweat, cheap wine and metal and knew it must have been a guardsman.  
After he made sure the guard was gone, he crawled back out from his hiding spot and kept walking. At least getting used to coordinating four legs instead of two was not too difficult anymore and the panther felt himself already much more sure footed.  
Finally, as his soundless paws brought him to the west wing, he saw the guards standing in front of the Lightstone’s chambers, talking to each other.  
The panther kept in the shadows, crouching down like a cat on the hunt, its tail playfully dancing on the surface before curling up on the side of his body. And then he watched the guards chatting away, their poses relaxed, clearly eager to end their watch shift. And he waited. 

This was the only chance they had to do this. Merlin and Morgana had agreed it was all or nothing the minute they had read King Rodor's response, which had been brief and direct: 

**\- I will send my best men out as I write these letters. Meet them at midnight next to the old graveyard after the crossing, where the tall pine trees grow. This route will lead them quick and straight back to Nemeth. I applaud your bravery and sense of justice. Be assured it will not be forgotten. -**

Signed and sealed in a hurry by the king, it had assured them both, Merlin and Morgana, that they were doing the right thing. That they had an entire kingdom which would help them in their mission. They were not alone in this.

Now however, sitting here and waiting, Merlin couldn't ignore his nerves faltering and his doubts creeping back in. There was a bad feeling bubbling in his stomach, which he couldn't shake ever since they had started from Gaius chambers. A sense of foreboding that something bad was about to happen. And Morgana's mention of her dream hadn't helped ease that feeling. He hoped the wait here would soon be over and he could jump back into action again, leaving those thoughts in the back of his mind once more. 

It indeed didn’t take long before the smell of eggs, flour and the sound of shuffling skirts announced the timely arrival of a kitchen maid. A short moment later he heard flat thin shoes walking fast over the stone floor, and then a haggard looking girl with a white dirty apron came into view, carrying a wine jar. The same jar Morgana had been carrying. The guards welcomed the girl cheerfully and pointed at the bench a bit further down the corridor on which two plates and two cups were sitting. The kitchen maid carried the jar to the table as directed and left it there, promising the guards that later on someone would come by with supper.

As soon as the maid had left, one of the guards went over and poured the wine into the cups, extending one hand to give the second cup to his fellow. They clanked their cups and drank deep.

The effect came not long after. First their speech became slurry, then they started swaying, one guard trying to support the other while not being able to quite keep standing himself. Together they managed to drag themselves over to the bench again, where they collapsed on one another, their lances shattering noisily on the stone floor.

Merlin smiled on the inside, got up and hurried to the chamber doors. He was wondering if he could do magic in this form, and had the answer only a moment later when his yellow eyes glowed and the lock of the door clicked. It swung open and Merlin hurried inside.

‘What was that? Did you hear that clanging?’ he could hear before a man that Merlin recognised as Ecberth Lightstone appeared. He took one look at the creature before him before letting out a cry for help.

 _It’s ok. You are not in danger._ Merlin tried to tell him telepathically, but Ecberth didn’t hear him.

He started stumbling backwards, his eyes never leaving the panther. ‘Rose. Rose! Take Clarice and hide! There is a monster in our chambers! A black monster!’

 _Keep your voice down._ Merlin thought and used all his concentration to break through to the man. But to no avail. He then started purring and rubbing his body against the man’s legs like cats do when they are in a cuddly mood to signal that he was not aggressive. But all that gave him was a kick in the ribs and a chair held out in defence.

‘What’s the matter? Why are you yelling, dada?’ Clarice came around the corner now, followed by her mother. The child froze when she saw the panther, and her mother let out a shrilling scream, clutching her daughter in her arms immediately.

 _This isn’t working. We are loosing too much time._ Merlin thought, pacing now back and forth, glancing uneasily at the entrance, expecting guards to follow the scream and burst through the doors any minute. He cursed himself for not really thinking this part of the plan through.

 _Please. I am not here to hurt you._ he thought again, facing the family once more.

‘You’re not?’ Clarice asked.

 _Oh._ Merlin focused his yellow eyes on her now. _No. I am here to help you. You are to be executed tomorrow. Please, you need to come with me, if you want to live._

The child grew pale at those words and she wrung herself free of her mother’s grasp. ‘Is it true the king wants to execute us?’

Now it was the parents turn to loose all colour in their faces.

‘Who told you that?’ the mother asked.

Clarice pointed at the panther.

‘He just talked to me. In my head. He says he is here to save us.’

‘That must be some kind of tasteless joke! This is a monstrous creature which probably holds magic to bewitch our minds.’ Ecberth accused, pointing a finger at Merlin.

‘You mean it holds magic like me?’ Clarice asked sadly, and Ecberth’s mouth closed promptly. 

The girl turned to the panther again and nodded slowly. ‘He says Gaius gave you a message to be ready?’

The parents exchanged a glance. ‘Well… yes. But he didn’t say that a… a… wild cat would come to get us out.’ Rose said slowly.

 _We are running out of time. Please. You have to trust me. What do you have to loose?_ Merlin desperately sent to Clarice’s mind and she forwarded the message, pleading as well. Merlin was surprised at how willingly she trusted this foreign creature which had come in the night to take them away. He guessed that maybe her magic could feel his and thus gave her reassurance.

After a short silence from the parents and some more pleading from the girl, they finally agreed and quickly put on their coats and grabbed some bags which they had prepared for the flight.  
As the parents hurriedly took up their things, Clarice came up to Merlin and shyly stroked his head. Merlin closed his eyes appreciatively and started purring. ‘You are Arthur’s manservant, aren’t you? I always see you two together.’ she said, which made Merlin's eyes fly open again.  
‘Don’t be scared, I won’t tell. Thank you for helping us.’

The parents covered their daughter in a thick velvet cloak and drew up her hood. They were ready to go.

Merlin went first, looking over his shoulder at the Lightstone’s to make them understand that they were to stay behind him. His heart was beating fast as he tried to concentrate on his surroundings and the many sensations that he had been blocking out in the last minutes. He could hear the slow and steady heartbeat of the sleeping soldiers, mingled with another beat. Before Merlin could process what that meant, he had already come out of the chamber, his head sinking low as he saw movement. A third soldier was with the sleeping ones, checking for their pulse. _Oh no._

Before he could turn back, the man had lifted his head and spotted him.  
‘No.’ he breathed in shock and Merlin saw that it was no soldier, but Sir Leon. He immediately drew his sword and held it out to the panther. ‘Don’t come any further! You will not feast on these men!’

Merlin’s cat eyes shone like starlight before he nodded to to Lightstone’s to follow him. The family glanced apologetically to Leon before following the animal.

The knight tried to run after them, but started swaying, almost loosing his balance completely. Irritated he looked down at his boots and tried lifting his feet, but to no avail.  
‘Wait, come back!’ he called after them, but they had already rounded a corner and were out of sight.

The panther started hurrying along the castle corridors, the echo of the knight’s alarm cries ringing in his ears. The frightened Lightstone’s kept to his heels, sometimes bumping into him when he stopped short to peak around a corner.

They had to get out. Quick. Every second counted now. Merlin let his senses lead him, automatically turning away from steps, breaths and heartbeats and, using several not well known short cuts, soon arrived in the cellars. From there, passing wine barrels, armour stocks and other forgotten artefacts, they reached a small shabby looking door that would lead them into the cold night air.

Merlin’s eyes shone again and he heaved his heavy paws against the wood. It creaked and opened readily and a gust of winter air blew in Merlin’s face and made the Lightstone’s cloaks rustle.

‘What took you so long?’ he heard a voice hiss as they stepped out into the winter night. Snow was dancing down in thick dense flakes which left Merlin’s fur spotted.

 _Sorry, we had some complications._ Merlin responded to Morgana’s mind.

Just then the tower bells started ringing and all of them looked up in fear.

‘Already?’ Morgana asked before turning to the Lightstone’s. ‘We don’t have much time. Follow the panther out of the city. He will lead you to a location where you will be picked up by King Rodor’s people. They will lead you safely back to your kingdom.’

The family nodded, shouldering their luggage tighter. Clarice drew her hood deeper into her face.  
‘Why do you help us?’ Ecberth asked the king’s ward.

‘Because I want you to tell King Rodor that whatever Uther does or will do, not everyone in this castle is in agreement with it. And we want your king to remember that, should he think about attacking Camelot.’ Morgana responded in a pressing whisper.

Ecberth nodded slowly and a small smile tucked at his lips. ‘Thank you, lady Morgana. We will not forget-’

But Morgana cut him off ‘Go, now! The guards will be upon us any moment.’

As if in answer to that, torch light appeared in the distance and Merlin could hear numerous boots scrunching quickly through the snow.  
They had been found.

\--


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up! This had been a long time coming, and I am excited!. I hope you will enjoy this chapter :)!

Merlin's immediate reaction was flight. But which route was save now?   
_We cannot go through the city._ Merlin’s first instinct was to make for the forest instead. But then he remembered the promise he had given Morgana and growled in frustration, which earned him uneasy glances from Clarice’s parents.

‘There! There is someone!’ he suddenly heard shouting and whirled around. Aredian was standing on the castle stairs, a torch light flickering wildly in his hand, white smoke steaming in quick long streams out of his mouth as if he had been running.

 _Go, Morgana! No one must see you!_ Merlin urged before he started running. 

‘Over here! They are over here!’ he heard shouting and glanced behind him to make sure the Lightstone’s were on his trail. Another glance at their running feet assured him that Morgana had spoken her spell. The snow their feet were pressing down was rising back up again, so no one was able to follow their footprints. That gave him back a hint of hope.

Snowflakes and icy winds whipped his face and made him squint his eyes as he ran down a hill, slipping here and there on frozen ice. Some nosy citizens who had been awakened by the noise and were bold enough peaked their heads out of the houses. However no one attempted to stop them.

‘Where are you leading us?’ Ecberth cried out, by now carrying little Clarice, whose short feet could not have kept up with the pace.

Merlin led them to the only escape way that remained. He jumped down a low wall and rounding two corners before squeezing himself into a narrow alleyway between two houses that led them further down and away from the common street.

Finally he stopped short in front of a small gate that seemed to have been built into a mossy hill. Behind its bars only waited blackness. A shallow stream trickled out through frozen patches.

‘The sewers?’ Rose asked in disbelief.

Merlin magicked the gate open and hurried inside, growling impatiently at his group when they didn’t follow right away. His growl echoed in the tunnel which made him sound like a giant monster lurking in the dark. The family followed immediately.

Merlin was familiar with the sewers from previous excursions and knew roughly where they had to go. For a while there was nothing but blackness and the constant trickle of water, mixed in with the occasional squeaking of a rat. The panther followed the distant smell of pine trees to keep him on track whenever they reached a crossing. And before long they reached another gate which Merlin jinxed open once more.   
His wet nose inhaled the fresh air gladly as the rest of the group stepped out as well, sighing in relief to be out of the tunnels.

‘We are out of the city!’ the mother sighed in relief. ‘Where to now?’ she asked the panther, her demeanour now much more trusting. Clarice's big brown eyes peaked out underneath her hood, speaking of fear.

Merlin looked around. His cat eyes allowed him to see much more in the dark than his human eyes ever Could, but the snow fell so thick, he had trouble making out the shapes around him. They must have come out already very close to the graveyward. Merlin wished it wasn’t the dead of winter. It would be easy to follow the scent of decay in warmer weather. Which ones were the pine trees? They had to be here somewhere, this was where Rodor’s soldiers would be waiting. The clock must have struck midnight by now.

Merlin’s ears peaked up sharply as he heard horses snorting and neighing.

‘Rodor’s men! We found them!’ Ecberth exclaimed in relief, looking around to see if he could make them out. ‘Here! We are here!’

But Merlin didn’t share his excitement. He had never had panther senses before when he was faced with him, but he still recognised the smell immediately. Sharp, unpleasant and overwhelming. Like an old cologne that seemed to take ones ability to smell altogether. Mingled with this, there was a smell that made his hunter instinct excited. Blood.  
He wanted to tell Ecberth through Clarice to keep quiet, but it was too late. 

He saw a dozen torches desperately trying to stay alive in the snow. He saw white clouds steaming out of horse nostrils and the red and gold of the Pendragon sigil on almost every riders cloak.

‘Well, well, well. Who did we catch here on a midnight stroll?’ Aredian’s voice seeped with satisfaction as he came into view on his horse, a black fur cloak covering his shoulders. ‘It seems someone just couldn’t wait to get eaten by fire. Thought you quicken it up a bit by trying to escape?’ he asked while the Camelot soldiers were closing a circle around the escapists. 

The Lightstone’s drew closer together, Ecberth pressing his daughter close to his chest.  
Merlin’s whiskers drew back as he bared his teeth at Aredian, who now considered him with mild interest. ‘And what is that? A giant cat? Do you think this creature can protect you?’

Merlin wished he knew the answer to that question. He could use his magic to get them out of this predicament. But what then? He couldn’t walk the Lightstone’s all the way to Nemeth. Where were Rodor’s men? And, even more pressingly, he wanted to know where the stench of blood was coming from. He looked around uneasily in an attempt to find the source.

The witch finder slowly got down from his horse and sank into the snow, approaching the group. In one hand he was holding a torch. The other one was carrying something round which was pressed to his hip.   
Merlin’s nostrils flared and he knew what it was the moment it left Aredian’s hand and landed in front of them in the snow. The witch finder then kneeled down and shone the torch light on the ground, to make sure everyone could see what he had just thrown.

‘In case you were wondering what happened to Rodor’s men.’ 

The panther took some steps back and averted his eyes, so he didn’t have to see the bloody head lying in the snow, eyes rolled back into the skull. He had to actively fight the urge to lunge at it.

‘They cannot help you anymore. Neither can this overgrown feline of yours. So. What will you do now?’ Aredian’s voice was calm, but his face distorted into one of the ugliest smiles Merlin had ever seen. His pale eyes seemed to be on fire, the torch light dancing in them.

‘Aredian!’ Merlin seemed to hear it first, and his ears flew up. ‘Aredian! Aredian!’ the voice was angry and coming closer, and now the called upon seemed to hear it, too. His smile faded and he slowly got up.

Merlin could hear more horses, smelled steel and metal and… and another smell he would recognise in a million. Just when he thought this could not get any worse.

‘Aredian!’ it came again, and this time the owner of the voice appeared. The Camelot soldiers parted to let prince Arthur into the circle, followed by a handful of his knights. Arthur’s horse shied away from the smell of blood and the prince had to calm it several times before it would stand still.  
‘What is the meaning of all this?’ he then asked sharply, looking at the witch finder.

‘The Lightstone family tried to escape, sire. We just encircled them to get them back to the castle.’ Aredian responded, gesturing at the cowering family.

‘Yes, I can see that.’ Arthur said impatiently. ‘I meant this.’ And he held up a bloody and ripped flag with the sigil of King Rodor on it. A black stag on a golden background could still be made out. ‘We just passed this massacre down at the crossing. Is this your doing?’

Aredian shrugged his shoulders unimpressed. ‘Those were Rodor’s soldiers trying to smuggle sentenced criminals over our borders. I felt it was my duty to stop them.’

‘There would have been no other possibility than to cut their heads off? Do you have any idea what this will do?’ Arthur hissed, glancing at the severed head to Aredian’s feet.

‘Your father had been rather clear on the matter, sire. To bring back the fugitives, no matter the cost. And to consider any help they would be receiving as a criminal act.’

Arthur was just about to respond, when his eyes caught movement and found the panther standing in front of the Lightstone’s. Merlin realised now that his black fur had concealed him in the darkness and now wished he had not moved. The prince’s eyes grew big and disbelieving. ‘You.’ he whispered. 

‘As I had told you, sire. It is the same creature that had attacked the Camelot citizens a while ago.’ Sir Leon confirmed from behind him.

Arthur drew his sword and pointed it at Merlin. ‘Why did you come back? Do I have to run my sword through you once more?’

Merlin growled at the exposed steel, but retreated several steps. Clarice wrung herself free from her father to lay a small hand protectively on the panther’s back. ‘Please, don’t hurt him, your highness. He was only trying to help us.’

Aredian looked from Clarice and the panther to Arthur with a pleased expression. ‘Well. As if we needed any more proof that this family is connected to the magical arts. Seeking out a creature like this for help.’ He rubbed his chin in thought. ‘We should probably kill them all on the spot and be done with this.’

And killing was what happened next. Though it was not Merlin nor the Lightstone’s that fell lifeless to the ground. First it was a Camelot knight right next to Arthur. Then several other soldiers followed the death call, falling from their horses which in turn stood on their hind legs in panic and fled. Merlin saw several arrows sticking out of the backs of the fallen before complete chaos erupted. He saw hooded figures crash the scene, pulling surprised knights off their horses, or fighting the ones that were quick enough to draw a weapon.  
Merlin saw Arthur galloping through the attackers, his sword swinging left and right. He felt the urge to run to Arthur’s side and protect him. But he remembered quickly Arthur would probably cut him down just as well.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, two hands shot out and grabbed Clarice’s arms. Merlin bared his teeth before sinking them in the flesh of the attacker. He tasted flesh and heard a painful scream. He had to force his jaw to loosen, and the hands retreated. The man they belonged to backed away, clutching his wound.

 _Behind that tree. Now._ The panther urged to the girl, who forwarded the command to her parents and they obliged. Another hooded figure ran towards Merlin, his knife outstretched. The panther’s ears fell flat before the lunged at the man. The force made them both fall backwards, but Merlin managed to stay on the man, pressing him into the snow with his claws. 

“N-No. Please.” the man stammered and held his hands before his face to shield himself from the predators glinting teeth. Merlin retreated his claws and allowed the man to roll out beneath him and run.

Then he heard a gasp and something heavy falling to the ground. He whirled around, expecting another attacker, but only saw Ecberth with a bloody sword in hand and a hooded figure lifeless on the floor. Merlin nodded towards the man, who returned the gesture. “Go. Help the others. I will look after Rose and Clarice.” he said with a thin voice and Merlin wondered when was the last time that Ecberth had to fight with steel. Nevertheless, he hissed in agreement and turned towards the battle.

The entire scene was suddenly much brighter than a few moments ago and Merlin realised it was due to a bare tree, completely alight with fire on top of a little hill. Its sparks flew wildly upwards and gave the entire battle an apocalyptic feel. Merlin’s panic rose steadily as his eyes kept looking and failing to find Arthur. He saw Aredian fighting two attackers at the same time with his sword, he saw Sir Leon ducking another attacker before head butting him. Lancelot ran past him and the panther had to stop short to not be run over. Of course Lancelot would follow Arthur here, Merlin thought. 

The panther walked carefully through the fight, stepping over corpses and ducking under swords, trying to make out anything that would help him understand what was happening here. The fighting had drawn the hoods of several of the new attackers, but Merlin didn’t recognise any of them. Their cloaks revealed no sigils, they didn’t cry out what or whom they were fighting for. The only thing that was clear was whom they were fighting against. Arthur. And Merlin finally found him. He was not on his horse anymore, but standing on the slope of the little hill with the burning tree, fighting off several attackers and having a hard time keeping his stance. Merlin started running towards him, a growl escaping his black mouth.   
At one point an arrow was soaring just above him, brushing Merlin's shoulder. 

Arthur had just stumbled backwards and fallen. His upper body perched on his elbow, he used his other sword hand to block a blow. Merlin’s eyes lit up and the imminent attacker let his sword fall with a groan as a sudden cramp seemed to have suddenly befallen his arm. Arthur reacted quickly and ran his sword through him.   
The other attackers followed, all weapons raised to deal the prince a deathly blow. But the panther cast another spell and all of them fell simultaneously backwards, as if a silent storm had blown them over. 

Arthur got up and looked around in confusion, his chest under his armour heaving. He held his sword threateningly over the fallen, daring any of them to get back up. But none of them did so much as stir on the ground. Then his dirt and blood smeared face fell on the panther across from him, and his expression grew dark. 

He now held his sword up, preparing a charge. “This time I make sure to finish it.” he breathed heavily, before he started the attack. Merlin looked at the charging Arthur with fearful eyes, not sure what to do. If he used his magic, Arthur would be incapable of fighting and thus an easy target for the other attackers. Not to mention using his fangs or claws on him.

So he sprang backwards, out of reach of the prince’s first sword swing. But Arthur just kept them coming, bringing attack after attack, and Merlin found himself retreating further and further. He did not so much as growl and hiss at Arthur in an attempt to scare him away.  
Of course this didn’t work. “Where did your fight go, creature?” Arthur asked between blows. “Don’t you want to at least try to defend yourself?’

Merlin had to end this. This was dangerous. He wished he could let Arthur know somehow that this was him. But as he had learned only people holding magic could hear him, he didn’t know how. So he sprang forward and used one of his big paws to push the sword away. First Arthur was able to evade him, but then the panthers claws snatched the sword and he managed to jank it out of Arthur’s grasp. It landed a few metres away in the snow.   
Arthur eyed it, before deciding it was too far away and looking around for another weapon.   
Merlin just circled Arthur, his tail dancing. _Come on. Just give it up. Leave me alone and focus on protecting your people._ he thought to himself. 

It was in vain. Arthur never ran from a fight. Merlin saw the bow at the same time Arthur saw it, sticking out from under a lifeless body on the ground. Arthur lounged for it, grabbing an arrow from the corpses arrow shaft as he went.  
He quickly pulled the arrow on the bow and pointed it at his opponent.

 _Arthur._ Merlin thought desperately, and for a second it seemed Arthur halted.  
Then Merlin saw a figure stand in front of him, blocking his view.

“Arthur, no.” he heard a familiar voice.

“What do you think you are doing?’ Arthur asked, irritated. ‘Step aside.’

‘Please, Arthur.’ Lancelot pleaded. ‘Trust me. You don’t want to do this.’

Merlin took a step to the side to get a look at the prince, who was still standing there with a drawn arrow. It was pointing at Lancelot now.  
‘Do you know who this creature is? What he did to the citizens of Camelot?’ the prince asked exasperated.

But Lancelot only shook his head. ‘This creature is not your enemy. You will regret it deeply if you loosen that arrow.’

Merlin wondered how Lancelot knew who he was. Then, the situation got interrupted by a loud voice: ’How do you like that, Pendragon?’ 

A woman was standing at the top of the hill now, her hair flying wildly in the fire winds of the flaming tree. Merlin recognised the bright blue eyes immediately, saw the braids loosely flying around her face. Two crystals hanging around her neck were reflecting the flames and looked on fire themselves. 

Arthur turned to her, his bow lowering. ‘Who are you? What do you want?’ he called up to her.

‘My name is Yrsa. And we want nothing but peace.’ the woman told him, followed by a cheer from her men.

Arthur snorted. ‘I hope you don’t fail to see the irony in that, given that you just brought war and death upon us.’

‘Isn’t this how you Pentagons kept your peace for the last 20 years? How is the taste of your own medicine?’ the woman named Yrsa spat back. Another cheer from her men erupted, who had come to stand around the hill with the burning tree now. 

Merlin looked around and realised the battle was over. Most Camelot soldiers lay motionless in the scarlet snow. Others had deserted them. The brave few who stood their ground, most of them Arthur’s knights, were overpowered and weaponless. Merlin recognised Sir Leon being roughly thrown down to the ground, his hands bound to his back. Ecberth was still standing with his sword in front of his family. His eyes looked determined, blinking through blood that was trickling down from a head wound.  
The panther came to stand next to Lancelot who shot him a worried glance.

‘I have a proposition to make, Arthur Pendragon. Leave us Aredian Blackcloak and the refugees, and we shall give you leave to go.’

Merlin looked around and found the witch finder further down the battle. He was the only one still mounted on his horse, his sword in hand, his cloak ripped. Aredian was looking up at the woman in a concentrated expression, as if he was trying to decipher very small writing.  
‘Yrsa… Yrsa… ’ he breathed to himself, but Merlin could hear it. ‘Is this really you, Yrsa?’ he called louder now.

The called upon shot him a cold glance. ‘Finally recognise me, then?’ Then she turned to Arthur once more. ‘What say you, Pendragon? The life of four for the life of many?’

Merlin held his breath, even though he already knew what the prince would say. ‘I cannot do that.’ Arthur answered in defeat.

‘You rather risk the life of all your knights and yourself?’ Yrsa asked incredulously. 

‘I don’t want to risk anyone. But I cannot trade innocent people to you.’

That made the woman laugh a heartless laugh. ‘Innocent? Do you know who Aredian Blackcloak is? Do you know all the things he is responsible for? He brings nothing but despair and destruction to those around him.’

‘Regardless. I cannot just hand him and this family over to murderers and outcasts.’ Arthur persisted.

Merlin came closer to the prince now, shaking his head. _Arthur. You noble idiot._ he thought.  
And to his astonishment, Arthur turned. ‘Who said that?’ he asked Lancelot.

Lancelot looked just as confused at the question. ‘Who said what?’

‘Yrsa!’ Aredian now called again. ‘You have to listen to me.’

Yrsa drew an arrow so fast, Merlin only registered what was happening as she already pointed it at the witch finder. ‘Very well.’ she said, ignoring Aredian’s pleas. ‘No exchange then. In this case we execute you right away.’

And her arrow flew. Aredian turned his horse and gave it the heel. The arrow missed the mark, but still found its target. It sank into Aredian’s calf who groaned loudly, but kept holding on to his galloping horse.

Yrsa drew again and shot. And missed.

‘After him!’ someone shouted and some men immediately went for the last remaining horses. Yrsa however held up her hand and shook her head.

‘Gentlemen.’ she said. ‘Ladies.’ she added, smiling. ‘This night is ours! Aredian might have escaped, but we did what we came to do. Which is rescue the family found guilty of magic. And we even managed to get the Pendragon heir in our hands. I say tonight is a victory!’ She held her bow and arrow high, and her icy blue eyes lit up like the moon. In answer the fire licking on the tree sparked even higher and broader and for a moment Merlin thought Yrsa’s hair would catch fire.   
Her followers echoed her victory cry and rose their weapons triumphantly to the sky.  
Most of them had drawn their hoods now and Merlin looked at their faces in disbelief. They were the faces of farmers, of blacksmiths, of tradesmen. Women were among them too, mothers and maids and even an old woman who was missing most of her teeth. Many Merlin didn’t recognise, but some faces he knew. Faces of everyday people he had seen about Camelot through his years in the capital. Faces who had vanished once Uther had made his announcement of the second cleansing. 

‘Let’s take the Lightstone’s and go.’ Yrsa then announced and some women started approaching them. The Lightstone’s seemed wary, but knew their cause was lost. Ecberth gave up his sword and allowed the women to escort him and his family off. Clarice gave Merlin a fearful look, and he tried to answer it with a reassuring nod.

‘What shall we do with the prince and his knights? And that black beast?’ a man with a ponytail asked, kicking a knight in the ribs in front of him.

‘Kill them!’ another called.

‘Yeah, kill them!’ it echoed all around.

‘Kill them all!’

‘Kill the prince too!’

‘Kill the prince!’

‘Death to the Pendragon heir!’

The panther stepped immediately close to Arthur and bared his teeth. Lancelot protected Arthur from the other side, his sword drawn.  
Merlin saw Yrsa’s men approaching and heard Arthur’s flat breathing behind him.

 _Yrsa!_ he directed his thoughts to the woman on the hill. 

Yrsa’s eyes fell on the panther, and her brows shot up in wonder.

 _Don’t do this! You are sentencing the wrong Pendragon! Surely Arthur is worth more to you alive than dead?_ Merlin took a few steps up the slope, his eyes never leaving Yrsa’s.

‘Who are you?’ she asked incredulously.

 _The boy who bought herbs from you. Who warned you about the crystals hanging from your market stand._  
Merlin came now very close to her, and some of Yrsa’s men thought it was too close, as they started to block the panther’s way. But Yrsa waved them off.

‘You are one of us.’ she stated in comprehension.

The panther nodded.

The young woman considered the creature before her before her eyes rested on Arthur Pendragon, now back to back with Lancelot, ready to fend off the imminent attack from the surrounding men.

She held up her hand again and called: ‘Stop! We take the young Pendragon with us. Bind him.’

Merlin heard some disappointed grunts, but the fighters did what they were told.  
The panther looked behind him and saw Lancelot lowering Arthur’s sword with a meaningful look, and both dropped their weapons in defeat.

‘What about the knights?’ the man with the ponytail asked.

‘They are of no use to us. Let them go. We need men to tell the tale.’ Yrsa responded dismissively and turned away.

Merlin allowed himself a deep exhale of relief. Arthur wouldn’t be dying. Tonight.

‘Will you come with us?’ Yrsa had stopped and looked at the panther over her shoulder.

 _You give me a choice?_ Merlin asked astonished.

The smile that played around Yrsa’s lips clearly suggested that the answer was a ‘no’.

As he made his way back to Arthur and Lancelot, they were both offering their wrists for binding. Arthur glanced at the panther, drawing his upper lip up in anger.

 _Arthur. You need to let me explain._ Merlin directed at him, but Arthur only snorted and looked away.

‘Don’t bother.’ he breathed, before his eyes vanished behind a black scarf Yrsa’s men were binding around his head to make him blind.

—

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place towards the end of Season 2.  
> Except I made endless alterations as I saw fit. I won't mention them all here, you will see them as the story unfolds.  
> Morgana knows she has magic but has no control over it, and is terrified to be found out. She has visited the druids, but has not come to meet Morgause yet.  
> Lancelot was not sent away after defeating the Griffin and was allowed to stay in Arthur's knight training.
> 
> This little story unfolded in my brain because I love Charles Dance and I wanted him to be a more badass character than how they portrayed him in the show. Well, I tried at least.
> 
> English is not my native language, and there was no beta reader. So please bare with me for any mistakes in this work.
> 
> Lastly, thank you for reading and I would highly appreciate your feedback!


End file.
